FIFTEEN: The Most Amazing Show Ever - Episode VII Recap

(Brooke may have wrapped Dylan's present to match her crazy ass jacket, but this show is the gift that keeps on giving.)

We are past the halfway point! 7 episodes down, 6 left to go. When I'm running a marathon, just being over halfway there is a really good part of the race for me mentally, because I know that every step I have left is less than the amount I've already taken. So no matter what fatigue I might be feeling, I know I've already done the majority of the work and can totally make it to the finish line. This show is definitely like running a marathon.

Last Time on Fifteen: Ashley and Jake debate the likelihood of turning into an alcoholic by age 15. Jake continues to pressure Ashley to talk to Matt about his DRINKING PROBLEM. Courtney's new intense love for Dylan started to scare her (as well as everyone else. Including me.) The Principal decided to let Dylan play a concert during lunch hour. Brooke makes a play for Dylan now that his popularity is rising. Courtney could not handle the competition.

Episode 7 - Temperature's Rising. Hillside's having a heatwave! A Canadian heatwave! The Temperature's Rising. It isn't surprising. Brooke certainly can - Can Can!

Avalon The Hang out of people we've never met. Some of Matt's Douche Bag Basketball Friends are celebrating their recent victory and they talk to a strange-looking girl we've never seen before.

(Don't know who these folks are? Well, you never actually find out.)

Seriously, who are these people? Where's the real cast? Oh here they come. Matt doesn't look happy. Oh, Ashley and Jake don't look thrilled to be there either.

(Matt takes time out of his busy schedule to explain to his friends why they suck so bad.)

They sit at the Loser's Table, even though they are technically winners. Hillside pulled out the victory 61-60. Problem is, Matt scored 14 points in the first half and then Coach Williams benched him because of his suck-ass attitude and selfish play. Jake's all, "yeah... that was weird how the Coach stood up to you..." Ashley is even less helpful, telling him he should be happy the team still won, since Matt cares about the team so much. Matt hates Jake and Ashley so much. He gets up to go play pinball. Jake tells Ashley this isn't the night to bring up Matt's DRINKING PROBLEM. Ashley hangs her head wishing she had better, smarter friends.

(Brooke was rushing and spilled extra Bitch Sauce in her lap. Kelly thinks that's gonna leave a stain.)

Hillside - Main Hall. Brooke and Kelly come in and Brooke tells Kelly about the amazing face Courtney made when she walked in on Brooke and Dylan together at the garage. It was pretty awesome.

(A Courtney Simpson Classic!)

Kelly's like "So you're into Dylan now?" And Brooke's all "No, Dylan is into ME." Kelly makes this face that says"Bitch, you certainly are a piece of work." Then Brooke demands to have the English Paper she had Kelly's sister write for her last night. Kelly hands it over, but not before she gets the $10 Brooke owes for it. Smart girl. They talk about the high quality of the work, and Theresa sticks her head up into the back of the shot, as she so often does when entering a scene. She stomps over to Brooke demanding to know what's going on, and Brooke shamelessly spells it out for her. She's handing in a plagiarized paper written by Kelly's sister. Theresa is totally scandalized. Theresa is also wearing a sweater with some strange writing knitted into it. I can't read the words and I suspect it might be written in the Black Speech of Mordor. Brooke can't deal with her Little Sister's whining, and leaves Theresa and Kelly alone together so they can start to plot Brooke's demise.

(One ugly sweater to bring them all and in the darkness bind them!)

Avalon - Stools of Stank Attitudes. Matt starts yelling at Jake about how he's gonna go to school and tell Coach Williams off for benching him during the last game. Jake tries to talk him down, but that only makes Matt more intent to have it out with the Coach - even if he gets cut from the squad! Jake is finally like "fine, go get kicked off the team so we don't have to talk about it anymore." That makes Matt decide he can wait a few more days. Matt walks away from the register allowing Jake to pay for his... breakfast? Lunch? I can't tell what time of day it's supposed to be. Jake and the cashier handle the whole transaction without ever speaking to each other. It's totally weird because they stare at each other the whole time but nobody says anything. This show is a mess.

(Billy is too sad today to concentrate on chess. The situation is dire!)

Hillside - Olaf's Corner. Olaf is trying to teach Billy chess strategy but Billy can't keep up. He's feeling all twisted up inside because he doesn't want to live with his Dad. He wants to move back to his house with his mom and Courtney. Things must be pretty bad if living with Courtney seems to be the better option. Billy and Olaf talk, but I'm distracted by a sign promoting "Romanoff and Juliet" in the background. That seems like a strange choice of play for a Canadian Middle school/High school to stage.

(The Drama Club at Hillside is all political and stuff.)

Olaf thinks Billy should talk to his family. Billy's parents didn't ask him where he wanted to live in the first place and Courtney can only think about Dylan lately, so Billy's kinda on his own. Olaf tells Billy he can always talk to him until his family stops sucking. Aww, something tells me someone's gonna throw a wrench in their bromance really really soon.

(That's not the face of someone who's happy to see you, Brooke.)

Hillside - Locker Labyrinth. Speak of the devil, in swooshes Courtney - all fire and brimstone. She stops at her locker... which is now two lockers away from Brooke? Oh my god, Show. I can't take it anymore!! How can this locker situation make any sense to anyone? Every episode it's something new. Anyway, these two bitches are off to the races. Who can be a bigger bitch? Brooke, but Courtney comes in a close second. Courtney is so angry for having found Brooke at Dylan's place after Courtney went and told Brooke that she liked him. Brooke is like "No, girl. You got it all wrong. Dylan's all yours." Courtney totally buys this because she is a fool, and Brooke giggles to herself as she goes off to find Dylan and make out with him.

Hillside - Girl's Locker Room. Courtney is explaining to Ashley how she got Brooke all wrong and that her dreams of happiness with Dylan haven't actually been crushed. Ashley thinks this whole drama with Dylan is beyond stupid. She leaves abruptly, forcing an end to the conversation. Hooray!

Hillside - Student Lounge. Dylan waits there for Brooke to come seduce him. And here she is! Brooke pretends to be a human with feelings and a sense of compassion, and has a decent conversation with Dylan until she gets all totally bizarro and gives him a SILVER MUSIC BOX FOR NO REASON!

(What do you see? You people gazing at me? You see a dude with a music box that's wound by a key...)

And Dylan must get random music boxes as gifts all the time because he takes it in stride. Brooke goes away and Dylan winds up the music box. As it starts to play that's when Drunk Matt and his Douche Bag Basketball Friends stagger into the lounge. Matt slurs at Dylan about his wussy music box. Dylan calls Matt out on being benched. Matt AGAIN mentions the music box and this is too much for Dylan. They lunge at each other. Douche Bags try to pull them apart. Sadly, no one gets hurt.

(FIIIIIIIIIGHT!)

Drunk Matt shouts at Dylan that one of these days Matt is gonna take Dylan's head off. It would've been more threatening if he wasn't walking backwards up a flight of stairs while saying this. It's just a little awkward. Nonetheless, Dylan stares him down and very dramatic music plays, as if someone just got killed in a Nightmare on Elm Street movie.

Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Jake and Ashley discuss Matt's latest drunken outburst and altercation. In case you couldn't guess, they are concerned. Ashley resolves she needs to whisper to Matt about this problem... NOW. But "now" meaning "later." First we have to deal with Courtney and Dylan.

(Man... nobody's home and I'm not even sure the lights are on anymore.)

It's the Main Hall! Pick a locker! Any locker! Courtney is all riled up in defense of her man. Matt had no right to start a fight with Dylan! Courtney is gonna talk to Matt about it right away! Dylan laughs it off and tells her he's fine and she doesn't need to involve herself. Courtney flirts with Dylan really strong and then tries to invite herself over to his garage that afternoon. He turns her down and then bails. I think the scene will be over but, oh dear god no! It's a Courtney Simpson Dream Sequence! I do not want to go to there...

(Courtney needs to be dancing even further into the dark.)

Courtney dreams about Dylan giving his lunch hour concert and being pulled up onstage as if he's Bruce Springsteen and she's Courtney Cox. Hey, they have the same first name at least! Courtney is wearing mom jeans and dancing like she's the precursor to Elaine on Seinfeld. This is painful. This is the best this girl can do for herself in her own fantasies? So so sad.

Hillside - Olaf's Corner minus Olaf. Brooke and Kelly have taken over Olaf's spot just to talk shit about him. Booooo! Olaf's so much better than these two bitches. Billy comes over and wants to know what the problem with Olaf? Both of them pretend there's nothing wrong with him, except that he's weird and a geek and foreign and awful. This conversation shakes Billy to his core. Don't listen to them, Billy. Who are they to judge a person's character?

(Maligning Olaf?? Don't you bitches even speak his name!)

Courtney comes over and pulls Billy from the jaws of those two jackals. Billy asks Courtney what she thinks of Olaf and she's like "What? I don't know that dude. Who cares? I need you to spy on Dylan for me!" Billy finally clues into the fact that Courtney has a crush on Dylan, which seems so strange to me that it would take this long, since she's been making moves on him right in front of Billy for two episodes now. But whatever. Billy thinks it's hilarious, but agrees to do recon as long as Courtney rents him videos that weekend. You can't get something for nothing, Courtney!

(Brooke bangs! She bangs!)

Brooke's Gigantor Bedroom. This show really likes to shoot people watching their own reflections. There are mirrors everywhere! The sisters are fighting again. Theresa bitches at Brooke for toying with Dylan. Brooke plays innocent, but Theresa isn't having it, not while her feelings for Dylan are super real and Brooke is just a total fake. Theresa thinks someone should tell Dylan what's going on, and then should go tell Brooke's English teacher that she bought that paper. This sets off Brooke's warning alarm, and she gets tough on Little Sis. Theresa backs off... for now. She'll bide her time and wait for Kelly to come up with a plan to take Brooke down once and for all!!

Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Courtney is waiting for Billy to return with news about Dylan. Unfortunately, it's bad news, since Brooke is all up in Dylan's grill right now. Courtney is scandalized. Billy says she doesn't have to rent him the videos this weekend.

(Brooke just got a message from Alpha that Zordon's in trouble. Brooke makes up a story about a fake boyfriend to get away from Dylan and back to the Command Center before it's too late!)

Dylan's Garage Band. Brooke and Dylan discuss the hideous silver music box, she gave him for no reason. Dylan likes it. Brooke wants Dylan to play her a song. How about one by The Grapes of Wrath? They are her favorite band and they are playing in town next week... she REALLY wants to see them. Dylan finally takes the bait and asks her if she wants to go. Brooke's like "Whaaaat? Oh, sorry. I'm already going with my made-up boyfriend Terry who's in the 12th Grade! I'm supposed to be meeting him now. Byeeeee!" And then she runs away and he's all confused. Dylan, you're being played!!

Avalon - Conspirator's Corner. Brooke is retelling the whole story to Kelly about how she is playing hard to get with Dylan. Kelly can't believe Dylan fell for it. Me nether. Brooke isn't ready to reel him in yet either. She's gonna make him flop around on the line and get really jealous about fake ol' Terry before she snatches him up. Don't forget - she doesn't actually like him though. Brooke, you are so eeeeevil!

(Why won't anyone realize that Matt is sick and tired of being HASSLED? What does he have to do??)

Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Ashley tells Matt they need to talk. Matt says fine and then goes to start playing pinball so that he'll have something to occupy his attention during their dumb conversation. Ashley's like, "no give me your full attention for once! You'll never be able to hear my soft voice over the whirring and chimes of the pinball machine!" Matt thinks the lecture that's coming is about his fight with Dylan, but no, Ashley tells him its about her thinking he's an alcoholic. Wow, she feels SO much better having said it! She explains to Matt that he drinks every night on the weekends, and now he drinks on weekdays AND he's carrying around that giant flask in his book bag. Matt wants to know how she found his flask. It's because she's a snoop going through his things! Matt wants them to drop the conversation immediately. Ashley isn't dropping the conversaion, because Matt needs to face his DRINKING PROBLEM. Ashley is worried sick and can't handle it anymore! Matt tells her if that's how she feels she can get a new boyfriend, and with that he bounces. Ashley stares after him... rather expressionless. Did they just break up? I can't tell, but it's not looking good for them. Hooray!

(Ashley is cautiously optimistic that her horrible relationship with Matt is finally over.)

Next time, on Fifteen: Courtney is throwing a party! She tells Brooke that she hopes Dylan will come. Brooke tells her that Dylan is definitely going... because he already asked Brooke to be his date! Courtney shatters into like a million pieces. Billy starts to give Olaf the cold shoulder, putting their bromance on ice. Brooke and Dylan full on make out in his garage. As Dylan describes it, it's going to be "totally nuts." Can't hardly wait!

A Year Without Cookies - Week 8

(Not what the Doctor ordered! Even if his name was Dr. Pepper!)

Another successful week without cookies and soda has come and gone! And now we are right on March's doorstep. That means it's almost 2 months without these sugary vices. Although this week saw plenty of other sweets in chocolate form being consumed. Brownies galore. Mini-chocolates too. And there was this delicious brownie bite thingy that bestie Sammy introduced me too. Mmmmm! I know I can't just overcompensate for a lack of cookies by packing on more kinds of sugary snacks. But cookies are an every day struggle and brownies and chocolate bars are more of a seasonal mistress. Now that Runaways Reunion and Oscar Awards Season are behind us, so go the need to have tasty dessert treats on hand. BFF commented last night that I looked thinner than usual. She knows the way into my heart.

This week I had a bit of a cold and when my throat hurts, I usually turn to ginger ale for soothing comfort. I had some in the house following Runaways Reunion, but I opted to stay soda-pure and stuck to drinking water, tea with honey, and Gatorade for relief. Now I'm back to feeling fine. Woohoo! I didn't even give in to my sickness crutch. I am stronger than ever. I know I can make it to double digit weeks! I know I can!

FIFTEEN: The Most Amazing Show Ever - Episode VI Recap

(Looking so crazy in love's got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love!)

Last Time on Fifteen: Courtney blabbed to the whole school that Dylan was an amazing musician and Dylan didn't like it! But then he sorta did. Theresa didn't have a huge crush on Dylan, but then she sorta did. Dylan wasn't gonna kiss Courtney, but then he sorta did. Billy and Courtney's parents maybe weren't gonna get a DIVORCE, but then they sorta did. Matt wasn't gonna turn into a raging alcoholic of a boyfriend who carries a flask around in his backpack, but then he sorta did. Sorta.

Episode 6 - Waiting In The Wings.
(Note: itunes thinks this episode is called The Party, but it is not. There's no party in this episode. The party comes much later. Amazing shit happens there, but we aren't quite ready for it yet. I had to search around online, but I've determined this episode is actually called Waiting in the Wings. I think it has something to do with Jake wanting Courtney to notice him. I swear he's better off without her.

Opening Intro: I am running out of things to say about the intro since it's like 40 seconds long, if that. So let me give you some free association about the phrase "waiting in the wings." For me that brings me back to being in elementary school doing a community theater production of Oliver. I'm pretty sure we did it at a high school or college auditorium and backstage on one of the wings was written the words "Natalie Wood doesn't float." Now even at this young age I knew Natalie Wood was in West Side Story, because WSS is one of the best movies ever. I didn't know she was dead though. Or that she drowned. My mom explained it to me. I still think the "what kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie Wood!" joke is in poor taste. Anyway, that's what the episode title made me think of. Back to the recap!

Hillside - Stairs of Sadness. Jake and Ashley enter and Ashley is wondering if she's over reacting about Matt's alcohol abuse. Jake doesn't think so because Matt is drinking on multiple weekend nights. Ashley tells him about the flask in Matt's backpack. Wait, she didn't already tell him that off screen? That's not what led to this current conversation? Oh, Show. Stop the nonsense. We're not even two minutes into the episode. Anyway, Jake asks her what was in the flask and Ashley hilariously spits out, "Buttermilk! What do you think??" Then as I mentioned last week, Ashley tries to convince herself someone can't turn into an alcoholic at 15, but Jake is quick to counter with an enthusiastic, "OOOHHHH, YES YOU CAN!!" I laugh and laugh at this.

(STFU, Jake! Ashley's dealing with REAL problems!)

Jake wonders if Matt knows she found the flask, but Ashley returned it to the bag without his knowledge. Ashley and Jake encourage each other to talk to Matt about his DRINKING PROBLEM, but Matt's such a defensive asshole about things neither of them wants to do it. That of course is Matt's cue to come swooping in. Matt asks if Jake is coming to the basketball game this evening, and Jake confirms he won't miss The Great Matt Walker in action. There is talk about how Matt hasn't run into Coach Williams yet today, so you know that will mean problems for him later on. Then Ashley and Jake stare at each other nervously until Jake wanders off. Matt wonders if something is going on. Ashley assures him nothing's going on... and then she gets nervous and her whispers get mad quiet even by Ashley's standards. She musters up the courage to stage a one woman Intervention right then and there, when two of Matt's douche bag basketball buddies come over and talk to Matt about the upcoming game. Ashley and I both sit here bored out of our minds by their conversation. Thankfully, the scene just sorta ends.

(Olaf wonders how much time they have before Courtney comes by to ruin everything.)

Hillside - Main Hallway. Billy and Olaf come in. Yay!!! Billy explains to his new friend that not only is Billy's dad moving out of the house, Billy is being forced to go with him. Olaf tries to make the situation sound not horribly bad, Billy won't take the bait though. He knows it's gonna suck. Olaf asks Billy if they are hanging out after school today. Billy says he's going over to Dylan's. Olaf takes it in stride, and says they'll hang out some other time. Olaf is the only character on this show who always makes sense!!

He leaves and passed Courtney on the stairs. He says hello and Courtney weirds out, trying to get passed him without brushing against him. Ew, what a bitch. She walks over to Billy and she's like "what's that dude's name? Omar?" Billy tells her it's Olaf. Courtney's like, oh yeah, from Sweden. Billy again corrects her that it's Finland. Courtney's like same difference, it's foreign.

(Ryan Reynolds smolders at his hateful older sister. That smolder is too good for her!)

Billy looks at his sister with an amazing amount of distaste. Seriously, her attitude sucks right now. Anyway, it turns out the only reason Courtney is speaking to Billy right now is because she has her antennae tuned to pick up any references to Dylan in a 5-mile radius, and she wants to know if he's actually invited Billy over this evening. Bill doesn't understand why he would have to ask permission, and Courtney is basically like "look dude I'm really glad you have Omar from Sweden to fall back on, because I am about to put the moves on your only other friend and make sure he becomes my boyfriend. I'll need privacy for that. So if the garage is a rockin', don't come a'knockin!" Billy can't stand it anymore and leaves her there alone. As she sees him go, she tries to ask him about how he's dealing with the DIVORCE, but it's too little too late ad Billy bounces. Billy walks away sad, and Courtney is' okay with that. I can't stand her selfish ways!

(Life's always better when drinking a milkshake!)

Avalon - Side Table of Side Conversations. Ashley is drinking a delicious chocolate milkshake! Courtney comes running in and says she's sorry to be late since she asked Ashley to meet her there, but it's all lip service. Courtney doesn't look sorry at all. She's got a huge goofy grin on her face. Ashley asks her what's up and Courtney is all, what do you mean? Ashley reminds her that SHE wanted to meet and talk. OH YEAH. It takes like five minutes, but Courtney finally tells Ashley that Dylan kissed her. Ashley looks horrified. No, really. She does.

(yeah, Ashley thinks Courtney going out with Dylan is totally.... great... yeah...)

Ashley asks Courtney hos she feels and Courtney reveals SHE IS IN LOVE! Courtney says that it's scary and that she's never felt something this intense before. All this after one kiss! Courtney is about to lose her mind right there just from thinking about it. Ashley tells her she thinks it's great, but her body language tells us Ashley thinks it's horrible and demented.

Hillside - Main Hall. Ashley returns from lunch and finds Jake sitting at the table in the middle of the hall. She's snippy and sarcastic to him about not being able to talk to Matt about his DRINKING PROBLEM. I love when Ashley has an attitude. She tells Jake she hoped to talk to Matt at the beginning of lunch, but stupid Courtney wasted all her time by being late to discuss "Secret Girl Talk." Jake assumes he can't know what's going on because he's an "un-girl." I think the word he's searching for is "boy." Ashley is cool to gossip though, and tells Jake that Dylan and Courtney are a couple and that they've sealed the deal with a major kiss. Jake's face is expressionless in the creepiest of ways. He. Is. Not. Pleased.

(Jake is super happy to hear that Courtney has found true love with Dylan. Super super happy.)

Hillside - Locker Labyrinth. Theresa is wrapped in a straight jacket talking to Kelly. Talk a look-see.

(Theresa talks to Kelly for a second right before she is dragged off to the loony bin.)

Amazing, no? Theresa assures Kelly she loves Brooke. She's her Big Sister! Kelly doesn't think that means much since Kelly has a sister of her own that she totally hates. Theresa continues to explain that it's really sorta Brooke's own fault that Theresa has problems with her because Brooke is selfish and thoughtless and then we all have to revisit the Missing Crystal's Birthday Drama. Theresa wants Kelly to give her a reason to still think Brooke is a good person. Since Kelly is Brooke's best friend, there must be some good quality about her right? Kelly is all, "Oh AM I? Oh IS there?" Theresa cannot deal with these mind games. She is well on her way to being Roderigo to Kelly's Iago. I love it.

Main Hallway. Courtney enters and Jake walks up to her. They kinda stare at each other. AWKWARD. Courtney gives Jake a disinterested, what's up? He shows her a sketch he's working on. We don't see it, but we can assume it's a drawing of a young teen rebel being thrown from his motorcycle and dying a bloody death while his somewhat-homely girlfriend is comforted by a geeky artist. Courtney tells him it's good. Jake thinks it had better be since he has no other talents for which people would notice him. Courtney then, amazingly, looks RIGHT PAST JAKE over his shoulder and maneuvers around him. Jake stares at her while she does this in disbelief all, "WTF? I am STANDING RIGHT HERE!" Courtney's just over talking to him and walks three steps away in hopes of ending the conversation.

(Walk on by...)

Jake persists. He passive aggressively congratulates her on her new relationship with Dylan. Courtney is initially upset that Ashley gossiped, but then remembers that Jake is barely a person at all, so it was really like Ashley just told the wall or said it into thin air. How could she stay mad about that? Besides, everyone should know how awesome she is for having a rebel boyfriend. Let the whole world talk! Jake asks if it's official that they're in a relationship. Courtney says no... and right away we should know that it will never be. That Courtney will mess the whole thing up is a total given at this point. Jake tries to warn Courtney that Dylan is not the right kind of guy to be dating. Courtney becomes very annoyed with Jake and his stank attitude and accusations. Brooke finally makes an appearance this episode slinking into frame, but clearly she's been eavesdropping this whole time. Jake tells Courtney that Dylan got hauled down to the Principal's Office this morning, probably for murdering children Freddy Krueger-style.

Brooke dashes Jake's dreams by informing them that the Principal heard what an awesome musician Dylan is, and invited him to do a concert in front of the whole school. Courtney thinks this is amazing because (1) she was responsible for blabbing to the whole school about Dylan being talented and now she can take credit for his upcoming success, and because (2) soon she'll be known as the GF of the hot musician rebel. Jake retreats into the recesses of his mind and performs a haunting rendition of Mr. Cellophane from Chicago, but we don't see it because the show cuts to commercial. Jake can't get no respect. Never even KNOOOOOOOOW I'm there.....

(Practise makes perfest?)

Boy's locker room. The word practice on the chalk board is spelled incorrectly unless they spell that word differently in Canada. I supposed that's possible. Jake asks Matt if he's talked to Ashley yet today. Let's see, Jake. Is Matt screaming about how Ashley is hassling him about his DRINKING PROBLEM? No? Then they haven't talked yet. The boys talk about Dylan and his stupid concert and his stupid possible dating of Courtney. Jake asks Matt - hypothetically, of course! - what a guy should do if he's hung up on a girl that doesn't like him. Amazingly, Matt gives him good advice and tells him the guy should just give up and move on. I mean if she's not interested, what else can the guy do? Jake is all "yeah... I mean, I guess..." but clearly that's not the path he's gonna choose.

(Brooke likes Les Mis. Kelly likes dolphins. I have learned so much.)

Lockers of the Bitches. Brooke and Kelly are at lockers that have been previously established as theirs. Miracle of Miracles. The art department lets us know that Brooke is a closet Les Mis fan. Would she favor Cosette or Eponine? I wonder... Anyway Brooke is going on about a 10-page paper she needs to write about a book she has no intention of reading. She wants Kelly's sister to write it. Kelly tells her that her sister is getting out of the plagiarism business. Brooke tells her that she'll pay $10 for it and needs it by tomorrow. Kelly starts to protest but Dylan walks by and Brooke is ready to move on to talk about Mr. Rebel and his impending Rock Star concert. It's the kind of thing that could make a girl like Brooke take an interest in destroying his life. Kelly thinks Brooke is horrible.

Billy walks up to Dylan and talks about the concert. Dylan informs Billy that he won't need a drummer for his songs. DENIED, BILLY! Then Courtney shows up and basically shoves Billy out of the conversation. Billy gets pissed off and walks away. Courtney goes on and on about the concert as if singing in the cafeteria is gonna launch his recording career. Dylan is so exhausted from talking about it, he thinks maybe he'll just skip the concert. Courtney freaks out that he can't mean that! Dylan plants the seeds of his own demise by telling us that the concert will only happen if he keeps up with his school work, and we all know that he won't. Courtney offers to do all his homework for him. She is pathetic.

(Put 'er there partner!)

Before Courtney can talk to Dylan about their new "relationship" Brooke comes over and pulls the same shit on Courtney that Courtney just pulled on Billy. Dylan bails on the girls. Courtney tells Brooke that she and Dylan have started dating. Brooke throws up a little in her mouth at this news.

(Ashley is so thrilled to hear yet another conversation revolving around basketball.)

Avalon - Side Table of Side Conversations. Ashley sits with Matt and the B-ball Douche Bags as they talk about the stupid game. Ashley looks like she'd rather be doing anything else right now. They go on and on about the game, but then Dylan walks in and the Douche Bags run over to him to talk about the concert. Matt can't believe he's no longer the BMOC, because of Dylan's concert!

(Brooke, you have so many clothes. Please help your sister. She doesn't know what she's doing!)

Brooke's Gigantor Bedroom. Brooke is in shower prep mode when Theresa enters wearing another terrible outfit. She's really trying to steal Courtney's Queen Fugly Crown right off her head at this point. Brooke is picking out a sexy outfit to wear to Dylan's, but she won't tell Theresa that because Theresa would freak the eff out on her.

Avalon - Side Table of Side Conversations. Ashley and Matt are still sitting there having an unhappy conversation about Dylan's concert. Ashley thinks Matt is jealous because all he can talk about is the concert. Matt's like, "that's not true! it's just that I concert! concert! concert!" Ashley tries to explain that the Principal thinks this might be something to get Dylan heading in the right direction and Matt interprets that as charity towards a hopeless loser and that makes him feel better about himself. God, Ashley is so over him at this point. She wants to talk about his drinking right then so that they can fight and break up for good, but Matt checks his watch and then heads out for the Basketball game. Ashley's like great I have to keep dating this guy for another couple hours...

(Matt checks his watch for when this tedious scene can end.)

Hillside - Olaf's Corner. Yay Olaf! He is playing himself at chess again. Billy slumps over. He has no other friends and no place to go now that his sister is whoring it up over at Dylan's. Olaf offers to talk, but Billy isn't ready to open up. Olaf offers a game of Chess, but Billy reminds him it only takes 45 seconds for Olaf to beat him at chess. Olaf says he'll beat him in45 seconds and then Billy can curse him out for a minute and a half and Billy will feel a little better. Billy takes him up on the offer. Olaf is the best.

Dylan's Garage Band. Brooke has made her way over to Dylan's place before Courtney and she is in a turn-of-the-decade 90's cocktail dress. Why the hell is Brooke there? She's just passing through. Dylan is totally confused by her presence. He offers to play something for her. Well, if he insists. Courtney enters and finds Brooke with Dylan. Her entire world is destroyed just by seeing the two of them standing there not doing anything.

(HUH-BUH-WHAAAAAAAAAAT???)

She gets totally flustered and runs away without seeking out even the slightest of explanations. Dylan runs after her, but then stops at the door remembering that Brooke, the prettier of the two girls, is still waiting for him inside. Brooke is all super-fake with a "did I interrupt something?" But really, getting rid of Courtney had to have been easier than even she anticipated. Oh, look! That's the end of the episode.

(Did I just destroy another life? This always seems to happen to me!)

Next time on Fifteen: A fistfight between Drunk Matt and Dylan in the Student Lounge! Brooke and Kelly start playing mind games with Billy about his friendship with Olaf. Theresa lashes out at Brooke over her fake interest in Dylan. Matt and Ashley finally have it out about his DRINKING PROBLEM. Matt suggests Ashely finds herself a new boyfriend. I suggest it too!

The Wesleyan Runaways 10th Anniversary Reunion Spectacular!

(Runaways Then...)

(Runaways Now!)

My senior year of college I directed a show called Runaways. How does one describe Runaways? Well my friend Sassy did a better job than I ever could. She was in the cast. Let me crib from her for a second:

"The musical was Runaways. You probably don’t know it, because after a well-received eight-month run on Broadway in 1978, it never returned. A good way to describe it would be like A Chorus Line, but with emotionally disturbed, racially diverse, drug-abusing homeless children instead of dancers (and not the cute emotionally disturbed homeless children of Annie. Runaways makes Pepper and Duffy look like the Bloomberg daughters). The orchestra for Runaways included a toy piano and a triangle. It wasn’t what you might call an easy sell."

No it wasn't. But I totally love it. I've always had an intense fascination with the show. The experience of Runaways goes a bit deeper for me than just your run-of-the-mill musical. I did a community production of Runaways the summer before I was in 8th grade. So I guess I was... twelve? Almost thirteen? A long long time ago. Doing the show at that age had a huge impact on me. I really took the stories of these runaway and throwaway children to heart. Our young cast even took a trip into NYC to visit Covenant House to get a better understanding of what these kids were going through. As crazy as the show may seem now, it's always loomed large in my imagination, and from the time I first did it, I always wanted to revisit the show again.

So for two years in college I talked to my good friend LMM about how I was gonna direct this show my senior year, and he was gonna music direct. Then somewhere in the fall of my Senior Year LMM opted to be in the cast instead of music direct and my friend SJR took over music responsibilities. All was good, and I continued to talk about what I wanted to do with the show.

But for every conversation I had with LMM about wanting to do the show, I had two conversations in my head trying to talk myself out of it entirely. The show was too weird! The cast was too big! I didn't have the talent to direct it. There wouldn't be enough time to rehearse. Where was I gonna get the money for the rights? It would just be much easier not to do it. Yet somehow after all that talk, I did direct it and the process of doing it really affected my life.

Along with the production team and my cast of 17 actors (!!) and an 7 piece orchestra, we put this show on for four performances from Feb. 15-17th in 2001 in a 3-stories high production in the '92 Theater at Wes. I don't think I ever poured myself into accomplishing something so intensely in my life. Regardless of how something turns out, there's just a great sense of accomplishment from saying you're gonna do something and finding a way to get it done. Another remarkable thing about the show? Everyone involved was an awesome person. I mean, everyone was very talented. We've had more than one person involved in the show make it to Broadway (including our Light Board Op! Shout out to KMac!). But for real, with all that talent, there wasn't one asshole in the entire cast. That's hard to accomplish in a group that large. Everyone was, and continues to be. good people. I've always felt a deep affection for everyone involved in the show. I really cherish them for giving of themselves to make my dream become a reality. I know I'm making a college play into like this really really profound experience, but for me it was! It meant a lot.

So zoom ahead roughly 10 years, Sassy and I are out grabbing a drink. The concept of reunions comes up, since 2011 is my 10 year at Wes. I tell Sassy how I always wished people from multiple classes could get together instead of just one class at a time/ That reflects more of the actual college experience ti me. I tell her I want to do a Runaways cast reunion for the 10th anniversay of the show this winter, where we'd get together and watch the video of the show that I still have from back in the day. This seems possible to pull off because so many of us happened to currently be in NYC or at least on the East Coast. She encouraged me to go ahead with the idea, and although I again had a lot of back in forth in my head wondering if people would even WANT to come, I set a date and invited folks and started planning. To my delight, people were enthusiastic about the idea and it was full steam ahead!

So 10 years and 2 days after we closed the show up at Wes, we had our reunion at my apartment in Queens. I humbly called it "The Wesleyan Runaways 10th Anniversary Reunion Spectacular!" I'm SO GLAD we did this. I recommend cast reunions to everyone. It was so great seeing everyone and watching our younger selves and laughing at certain things we did and just having a good time enjoying each other's company. As it turns out, I saved a TON of memorabilia from the show as well. I have one small file box still left over from my college days, but practically everything inside is theater related. Most of the stuff I had no idea I had saved. I knew I had a songbook and the audition sheets from the cast, but there was so much more. Being a theater nerd pack rat occasionally comes in handy.

(Original audition sign up sheets and callback list from December 2000)

(Official songbook, Official script, original audition sheets from cast members where i asked probing questions like what's your favorite flavor of Fresh Samantha and do you have access to email over Winter Break?? They were different times back then...Oh, and the original vinyl recording of the broadway cast.)

(Memorabilia Pictured: Notes to Director from Cast, original program (with wrong year printed on it), original contact sheet for cast and crew, guidelines for being a house manager at the '92 Theater.)

(The goodie bags included a DVD of our show, a soundtrack of the original cast recording with added bonus tracks from our production, and a copy of their original audition sheet.)

The thing that really struck me about the reunion was how lucky I feel to still have these people in my life 10 years later (thank you, internet!) and how the experiences we had and the friendships we shared over the show still give me so much joy and satisfaction when I reflect on what we created together. I'm a very fortunate guy.

It's also interesting to me that right now the last decade of my life is book-ended by two shows that I poured all of myself into. Runaways started it off and now 10 years out, The Timing of a Day is just about to go back into rehearsal, for what we hope will be an incredible 3-week run through the end of March to mid-April at Center Stage, NY. Runaways was the first time I really pushed myself to the limits of what I could do artistically, and it's because of that experience I know I have it within myself to do it again when necessary. Without Runaways, there could be no The Timing of a Day. Fo Sho.

Revisiting Runways was an experience made special by the amazing people I got to share it with. I'm just filled with excitement and gratitude for the amazing friends in my life, the family that art continues to create around me and for the continued opportunity to artistically express myself and tell stories in this new decade of my life. It's really a blessing.

(Fun times with old friends!)

One of the great lyrics of Runaways is "We are not strangers. In fact, I know you well." No matter how many years pass, that's how I feel about my Runaways crew. I cannot help but love them all for all the happiness they've given me and the special place they occupy in my heart.

(yeah, i know. this entry was really mushy & sentimental. Couldn't be helped!)

(And I used to dream of running off, of running far away...)

A Year Without Cookies - Week 7

How much longer can I keep this going?

Week 7 and I'm still going strong. Well, I don't know about "strong" but I'm still going. The dreams about soda seem to have finally subsided. Cookies have become nothing but a distant memory. They're just some mistake from my past that I don't really remember but still somehow feel guilty about. Physical conditioning remains at its peak... even if mental conditioning sometimes wears down.

This weekend has brought a new challenge. I have allowed soda into my home. I had to have some here. I hosted a party on Saturday night and I couldn't not offer people soda. What kind of host would I have been? People need something with which to mix their hard alcohol! At least when it came to dessert, my friend Gracie made brownies so I wouldn't have to deal with cookies. Homemade cookies in front of me would have been an automatic Game Over. But of course now there is leftover soda in my apartment. I figured if I just made it through the weekend, I could leave the extra in the kitchen at work, but I forgot Monday was a National Holiday and I have off (hooray!). Now it's also turned into a snow day (boo!) which means I'll spend most of the day trapped indoors with these carbonated sugar beverages, and my refrigerator is making jumping noises at me Requiem for a Dream-style. For the record, it's not the coke that's the problem. I can avoid coke, even though the bottle has been opened already... hmm... No, no. It's really the ginger ale that's out to get me. I love ginger ale for some reason. It settles my tummy. And it doesn't really taste like soda to me. It just tastes like deliciousness...

Still I think I can hold out. When I make an arbitrary decision to not do something, I can not do that thing forever and ever! Even if I really want to do it! I can prove a point to myself like nobody's business. Especially when there's no need to prove anything! Onward to Week 8, I say!

FIFTEEN: The Most Amazing Show Ever - Episode V Recap

(It's like the cover of a young adult romance novel... written by R. L. Stine.)

Last time on Fifteen: Ashley told Jake she and Matt had nothing to talk about, but he convinced her otherwise. Courtney tried to convinced Billy not to hang out with Dylan but wound up convincing herself she wanted to jump Dylan's bones. Matt hypothetically declared his possible love for Ashley and she was totally floored by the non-revelation and their "relationship" survived. Brooke blamed Kelly for FakeMessageGate, so everyone now thinks Kelly kinda sucks. Kelly, in turn, declared a Secret War against her Best Frenemy Brooke. Also, Olaf and Billy played Chess.

EPISODE 5: FREE FALLING

Opening Credits - who could be calling Brooke on the phone in her featured bit? She's already sitting with Theresa and Kelly and she has no other friends! Unsolved Mysteries...

Hillside Main Hall. Holy Eff, y'all. They came up with yet another way to walk around the same space. Courtney and Billy circle around, up and over the main stairs and arrive back at Billy's locker. Look at what Courtney's wearing!

(Yowza.)

A miniskirt and a floral print blouse. Not bad, girl. Not quite good, but not bad either, and for you that's gotta be scored as "Outstanding." Billy tells us and Courtney that their folks are making a family announcement tonight at dinner. He thinks it's that they are getting back together. Courtney isn't sure one way or the other. Billy wants to bet money on being right. Courtney, in a rare moment of being a caring older sister, tries to make him see reason. He refuses to listen. He walks off and Courtney let's him go, but I guess that's a step up from walking away from him while he's mid-sentence like she usually does. The scene ends with a close up on Courtney's confused and frightened face.

Avalon - Stools of Stupidity. Jake and Matt have just finished milkshakes. Mmm! Milkshakes for breakfast! Mmmmm! Anyway Matt starts complaining about Coach Williams. Oh good, we're back to this bullshit after taking a week off. Coach Williams has accused Matt of being a hot shot during practice and goofing off. Jake has seen a couple practices. Does Jake think Matt acts like a hot shot? Of course he does! But he can't come out and say it for fear of getting punched in the face and losing his only male friend. Instead he tries to play devil's advocate and lead Matt to the conclusion that Coach Williams has a point, as if Matt has the mental capacity of a three-year-old and couldn't get the point any other way. Matt, who is operating at no less than a 6-year-old's mental capacity, is insulted by this. He gives up talking to Jake and suggests they just head to school.

(working hard, or hardly working?)

Brooke's Gigantor Bedroom. Brooke is doing some last minute homework at her computer station, but instead of actually sitting at the desk, she is balancing her homework on the back of the giant computer monitor and scribbling away. Weird. Theresa comes in, still with the turtleneck with a skirt look she was sporting last week. Theresa comments that the homework Brooke is "finishing" doesn't really look that complete, but Brooke doesn't care. Why is Theresa bothering her this early in the day? Theresa has finally worked up the courage to ask her Big Sis about FakeMessageGate. Brooke's so over it, since that was like two weeks ago. She feeds Theresa her now standard reply that it was Kelly's fault and she had nothing to do with it, and if people are spreading RUMORS, then she has no use for those fools. With that, Brooke leaves for school and Theresa sits down on the bed... perhaps momentarily forgetting that this isn't actually her room?

Hillside - Main Hallway. Jake and Matt are at their lockers, but I think they picked new lockers again, not the one's they had last week. Maybe all the lockers in Canadian schools are communal? You just drop anything anywhere you want when you get tired of carrying it? Anyway, Courtney is going on and on to them about Dylan being a great musician. These two don't even LIKE Dylan. They start to crack jokes about him being "sensitive." Courtney begins to sense way too late that her gushing may have backfired on her. Matt asks her where she heard him play, and she giggles about going over to Dylan's Garage the day before. Jake pretty much has a heart attack on the spot. The love of his life has been spending time in the sex den of the school rebel? Jake, she's not worth it! The boys finally notice that Courtney's wearing something nicer than a potato sack today, but they don't exactly compliment her on the upgrade because they are assholes. Courtney is over them and leaves. Matt and Jake think Courtney couldn't POSSIBLY have a crush on Dylan, because they are oblivious about everything.

Kelly comes down the Steps of Sadness and Theresa runs over to her from far down the hall. Kelly acknowledges her presence and then makes to move along. Theresa tries to reach out and stop her, but hilariously stops just before touching Kelly's shoulder, pretending instead that she was actually reaching out for the railing on the stairs. Theresa is scared of Kelly and she has reason to be. Kelly looks pissed.

(Kelly does not have time for your stupid bullshit right now, Theresa. Make it snappy!)

Theresa is nervous and stammers as she tries to get to her point and Kelly snaps out a hilarious low-throated "what's your problem." before Theresa finally admits she's trying to play Harriet The Spy about FakeMessageGate. Kelly's eyes flare as Theresa explains that Brooke said it was all Kelly's fault, but... maybe she doesn't quite believe her sister? Theresa doesn't want to say those words exactly so that it can't get back to Brooke that she was badmouthing her around school, but that's what it boils down to. Kelly just tells her that if that's what Brooke says then it MUST be true, because Brooke would never tell a lie, would she? Kelly leaves satisfied in the thought that she got her message across, but the camera lingers on Theresa who still is having trouble figuring it out. Oh, Theresa! You're such a dummy.

(If you're waiting for Theresa to figure it all out, you're gonna be waiting a long time.)

Student Lounge - Brooke is holding court around a couple of extras, explaining how her social studies teacher thought her assignment wasn't long enough and how unfair his expectations are. I don't know why she's telling these people this information, but as they say in The Great Muppet Caper, "It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere." Brooke sees Courtney walk by and abandons the extras mid-sentence. Brooke wants to know about Courtney's secret meetings with Dylan. Courtney is totally scandalized. There are no secret meetings! But it's all over school, Brooke assures her. Dylan was serenading Courtney! No, there was no serenading! I almost feel bad for Courtney in this scene. She's absolutely no match for Brooke's cattiness. Finally we get to the outfit. Is THAT what Courtney bought? Yes. Does Brooke like it? Suuuuuuure she does!

(Brooke is having trouble looking directly into the blazing glory of Courtney's new outfit.)

It's perfect if Courtney is looking for someone to take an interest, but Courtney OMG swears that's not what's going on. Dylan shows up by the soda machines, and Brooke gives them space - not because she is thoughtful, but because she is convinced Courtney can wreck this thing all on her own and Brooke can just watch the show from a safe distance.

(Dylan takes a minute out of lunch hour to explain to Courtney why she sucks.)

Courtney walks up to Dylan. Dylan has had a bad morning. What's wrong, Courtney wonders? Well people have been hounding him all morning asking him if he's some kind of rock star. Does Courtney know how that happened? Maybe it's because he plays guitar in the student lounge all the time? No. It's because Courtney told two friends that she thought he was really good. And now EVERYONE KNOWS. And that's really hard on Dylan, see? He likes his private life to stay private and not be a topic for general conversation. He should really be home-schooled then. He takes his can of soda and breezes by Courtney. For the second time this episode, a scene ends with a close up on Courtney's confused and frightened face.

Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Ashley is sitting at the table doing homework and Jake walks up to her. They are both wearing normal Gap-ish outfits for once. Jake asks to sit down and Ashley's like "no, I'm doing homework." But somehow he sits down and the scene progresses. This goes on forever, so I'll make it quick. Jake wants to know if Courtney likes Dylan. Ashley nearly destroys him by telling him she's probably got a crush on him. Ashley starts to notice that Jake has a crush of his own, but he insists to her he does not. He is a bad liar. And a slow deliverer of lines.

(Brooke wants to make up after their lovers' quarrel, but Kelly still has her sleeping in the doghouse. Denied!)

Hillside - Olaf's Corner, Minus Olaf. Brooke and Kelly are sitting on the benches. Kelly is giving Brooke the silent treatment and it's driving Brooke crazy. When is Kelly going to forgive Brooke for telling a nasty lie about her that everyone at school continues to believe is true? Kelly thinks never. Brooke wins her back by reminding her how good they are being bitches together. Brooke dangles the carrot of talking about Courtney's new outfit, and Kelly cannot resist. They are back to being Best Frenemies Forever! Brooke tears into Courtney's outfit (which really isn't that bad) as Kelly beams from ear to ear, and of course Courtney walks by and hears the whole thing. Brooke and Kelly don't really bother to apologize as Courtney runs away humiliated and destroyed. Brooke and Kelly bask in the afterglow, as this was their equivalent to make-up sex.

Main Hall, Later. Dylan comes in and finds Courtney, dressed in her old ugly clothes sitting in the student lounge. He comes over and apologizes for how he acted at lunch. He just got weirded out when people were talking about him, but he DOES play a lot in the lounge (yeah, hello?) so he can't really complain. With this apology, Courtney's Crush is back and stronger than ever. As if more fuel needed to be added to the fire, Dylan tells her she shouldn't have changed her clothes because her new outfit looked hot. He leaves and for the third time this episode a scene ends with a close up on Courtney's confused and frightened face.

Some weird interior angle of the main hall. Theresa is at a locker she has suddenly claimed as her own. Dylan has also chosen a random locker to search through. Seriously, I can't get over the locker situation. Why's it so hard for the show to keep track? Anyway, Theresa is staring at Dylan HARD. Dylan asks if she wants to say something to him. She does not. (Note: Theresa has pictures of unicorns hanging inside her locker! I shit you not.)

(See? Unicorns!)

Then the screen goes all wavy. Is it a gas leak? No. WTF is this? A DREAM SEQUENCE? THIS SHOW HAS DREAM SEQUENCES AND IT TOOK FIVE EPISODES TO GET TO ONE?? Alright we cut to a shot of Theresa dolled up like she's Hermione Granger attending the Yule Ball and she dances with Dylan to Strauss' "The Blue Danube" which seems appropriate since this show just got weirder than a Kubrick film. Anyway, that ends, we return to "reality" and Dylan looks at the daydreaming Theresa like she's a total loon. Which she is.

(She does look a little Hermione in this artsy cross-fade shot, no? I think I'm right.)

Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Jake brings Courtney a soda and they sit together. Aw, man. This isn't gonna go well. Courtney is already looking at her watch. She hates wasting time with Jake and wants to go see Dylan. Jake and Courtney briefly discuss their friends Matt and Ashley, but neither one shows much interest in that drama. Courtney instead wants to know what Jake thinks of Dylan. Jake is noncommittal. Why does Courtney want to know? BECAUSE SHE LOOOOVES HIM! Jake practically throws up all over himself.

(It's a no good, very bad day for good ol' Jake.)

Then Courtney says that Jake is her best friend, even though he's a guy. Jake's worst nightmare has come true!! Courtney then notices that her "best friend" is about to crumple over on the table and die, but what can she do? She's in LOOOOVE! She can't contain it anymore and totally ditches Jake to go find her man. Jake thinks his whole life sucks. No arguments here.

(Brooke really can't get a moment away from Theresa and her nagging. What's a bitch to do?)

Brooke's Gigantor Bedroom. Brooke is prepping for a shower when Theresa comes in begging to talk immediately. Brooke consents and then Theresa takes a million years to say anything. Spit it out, Theresa! Theresa wants to know if Dylan has a girlfriend. Brooke doesn't understand why Theresa would care, since Theresa is like 8 year's old, but whatever. Brooke tells Little Sis that Dylan's not seeing anyone, but that Courtney is trotting around after him and that's that. Theresa wants to know what a girl could do if a girl was interested in Dylan and wanted him to notice her. Brooke finally figures out that Theresa's talking about herself and laughs in her face because it's effing ridiculous. Theresa gets embarrassed and runs away. Brooke wasn't even trying to be mean in this scene and she still caused emotional devastation. It's a gift, folks.

Dylan's Garage Band of Love. Courtney is back in her seduction outfit. Dylan and Courtney make an aggreement to write some songs together since she is good at lyrics and Dylan is good at tunes. This happy moment is cut short because Courtney has to go home and find out that her parents are getting DIVORCED FOR GOOD! Before she leaves, she lets Dylan know she likes him. He puts down his guitar, walks over to her in an awkward silence and kisses her. Without tongue, i think, but his shoulder sort of blocks things so it's hard to tell. Dylan never should've kissed her. Now she's never gonna stop being in love with him. EVER. She stares at him for a second lost in rapture and then we jump too...

(Billy picked the wrong week to quit drinking with his parents DIVORCE coming straight at him.)

Avalon - Stools of Sadness. Billy has tears streaming down his face and a tall glass of... something in front of him. It doesn't look like soda. The color is off. Let's assume it's hard liquor. Clearly, Billy is Free Falling (see how I just made the episode title make sense?) Courtney comes in, saying that their mom sent her to go find him after he disappeared from the house right before dinner. Billy asks if mom told her why. No, mom withheld that info from Courtney. Billy explains that mom jumped the gun and told Billy that she and their dad were getting a DIVORCE. She couldn't wait until the whole family got there so her son would have emotional support? Billy and Courtney's mom is a real cow. You can see now where Courtney gets it from. Courtney takes a brief break from being a horribly self-centered person in order to lovingly comfort her brother. For the fourth time this episode a scene ends with a close up on Courtney's confused and frightened face, this time with Billy sharing the frame.

Hillside - Main Hall. Matt and Ashley meet up. Basketball practice is over. After-school club meetings are over. Finally they have time together! Matt looks wiped out and is almost slurring his speech. Is it the the effects of a rough practice or downing a bottle of hooch? You be the judge. I'm guessing it's the alcohol. Ashley's just happy to see Matt in a better mood. Matt asks Ashley to hold his backpack full of alcohol while he goes to get a soda from the machine. She places the bag down on a table and hears an odd metallic clink. What could be inside? Is it a gun? Have things between Matt and Coach Williams escalated to that level of animosity? Ashley sneaks a peak in Matt's bag and finds a HUGE flask of something. She sniffs it and it's strong. This ain't no canteen of water. It could possibly be cologne, the flask is that big. But no, it's booze. Ashley is distraught. The close up shot of her to close out the episode is priceless.

(Your BF is an alkie! Wah-Waaaaaaah!!!)

Next time on Fifteen: Ashley tries to convince herself you can't turn into an alcoholic at 15, but Jake assures her, "OOOHHHH, YES YOU CAN!!" Courtney totally loses her mind over her feelings for Dylan after that one kiss, and now that Brooke knows both Courtney and Theresa are interested in him, that's enough for Brooke to start planning to steal Dylan away from both of them. BITCH! Also, hopefully Olaf and Cindy will reappear. I miss them so!