Last time on Fifteen: Billy realized he wasn't kicked out of Dylan's horrible band. Courtney realized she had deep feelings for Matt. Erin realized she had a new friend in Leah. Brooke realized she had no friends at all, but then found a new minion in Stacy. Most importantly, Dylan realized Ashley was not away at private school like everyone assumed. Let's see what startling realizations are in store for the gang this week!
Hillside – Boys Locker Room. Matt and Dave are getting changed after some early morning basketball drills. Matt is completely out of shape after only a few weeks spent being kicked off the team. Dave assures him he’ll back to his best in no time. Matt isn’t so sure, and he doesn’t like the the fact that he’s currently only back on probation. How long is this basketball season supposed to last anyway? It seems like they’ve been playing for two straight seasons. Dave doesn't care - he is just thrilled that Matt is back on the team, because he is WAY too invested in Matt’s life. Matt pretends to have an interest in Dave’s life by asking about his upcoming science project. He really only wants to ask him about Courtney, since Dave is in the same class as her. Dave is younger so it's an advanced class for him, but it's a normal class for Courtney whose age still matches the show's title. Matt wants to know what Dave thinks of Courtney, because some people in school think she’s pretty now that she’s stopped wearing horrible floor length skirts every day. Dave is like, “Umm… she’s nice, I guess? Why?” Matt is like “No reason!” but clearly he is inquiring because he LIKE likes her as more than a friend.
Avalon – Main Booth of Main Characters. Courtney and Arseman are eating breakfast before school. These kids are ALWAYS here! Do their parents never feed them at home? Courtney is lost in thought about her two prospective loves. On one hand there is Jake, her pen pal/fake-boyfriend who is off in China writing her sort-of love letters. On the other hand, there is Matt, the recovering alcoholic who just broke up with Courtney’s mentally unstable best friend barely two weeks ago. Such great choices! How will she decide? Arseman wants to know which way Courtney is leaning. Courtney doesn’t think it matters what she feels. Matt hasn’t openly expressed interest in her to any of their friends, so it’s not really a choice! Arseman shrugs and gives her an even-toned, “If you say so!” but she is totally pushing them together. She’s not as openly malicious in her manipulation as Brooke, but Arseman definitely delights in meddling in her friends’ doomed romances.
Hillside – Stairway to Nowhere. Speaking of Brooke, she’s got her groove back, stomping down the stairs here in a Darth Vader-inspired 90’s power blazer, poor little Stacy following close behind. Stacy looks uncomfortable and embarrassed, as if she’s already realized she attached her cart to the wrong horse. Brooke is declaring how it’s a shame some people can never take the hint that nobody wants them around. She swears she’s talking generally, but they just happen to be passing Janice at the time, and for once on this show everyone is clued in to exactly what’s going on. Brooke swears she tries to be nice, but some people are just so IRRITATING. Janice’s eyes flare. That’s the same word Courtney called Janice in Episode 2 for no good reason! Janice marches right over to them and tells them she she sure as fuck wishes she never transferred to this awful school. At least at her old school, people gave you a chance and they didn’t hate all new people immediately just out of habit. There were nice people at her old school and Hillside is exclusively filled with assholes. Brooke tries to act scandalized, with a drawn out, "I beg your paaaarrrdon?" but STFU, Brooke. Janice is right. Hillside is the worst. The other students don’t realize it, because they’ve never known anything different, but Janice must live with the burden of knowing there are better options out there. Poor Janice. At least Stacy has the human decency to look mortified to be a part of such heinous behavior. Sorry, Stacy! This is the true face of the person you idolized, girl!
Hillside – Locker Labyrinth. Dylan approaches Courtney and tries to have a conversation. It’s awkward because Courtney is still being a jerk to him for no reason. She tries to blow him off, but he asks her about Ashley. He’s trying to figure out if she knows Ashley is back in town without betraying Ashley’s confidence. Courtney doesn’t know anything though. She still hasn’t bothered to reach out to Ashley at all, even though she’s been talking about how she’s going to write her a letter every damn episode this season. Courtney simply doesn’t care. She asks Dylan if he’s heard anything, but Dylan’s like “Why would Ashley reach out to me?” Why indeed, Show. Why?
Hillside – Losers Lounge. It’s lunchtime now, and Courtney is actually eating a bag lunch. Her mother DOES feed her! Matt comes over and asks if she wants to get food at the Avalon. Courtney’s supposed to meet Arseman though, and also? SHE IS ALREADY EATING HER LUNCH RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. They continue to flirt with each other, until Courtney asks Matt (out of guilt?) if he’s heard anything from Ashley. Matt thinks he’s the last person she’d reach out to. Courtney’s like, “That’s funny. you’re the second guy to say that to me today!” And Matt’s like, “Oh, who else?” And Courtney’s like, “Oh, Dylan.” And Matt’s like “DYLAN?? What’s he got to do with anything???” Y'all, he’s SO DEFENSIVE about it. Courtney’s all, “Uhh.. nothing? I’m going to get away from you now.” Matt immediately switches gears and becomes all nice again. Yeesh. He wants to hang out with Courtney on Friday since he’s currently “dateless.” This makes Courtney feel all the feels. She wants to talk about it later, after she’s had a chance to talk to Arseman about it, since Arseman is now making all of Courtney’s relationship decisions for her. To be continued!
Hillside – Losers Lounge, Part 2. Billy approaches Amanda who’s reading at a table. He tries to make small talk but Amanda has ZERO INTEREST in him. Billy tries to talk about the band. Billy, she doesn’t care! He starts to talk about that funny joke Chris told her about Billy getting kicked out of the band. He tries to spin it that he and Dylan were actually the ones thinking about letting Chris go. This is almost too painful to watch. First, it’s a very obvious lie which Billy can't sell, and second, Amanda has completely tuned him out at this point anyway. She sees Dylan on the other side of the room and makes her way over to him, leaving Billy in her dust. She tries to talk to him, but Dylan is only interested in finding Janice. Dylan might as well have slapped Amanda clean across her face. Janice? What could he possibly want with her? Amanda is so smitten she actually offers to go find her for him, but Dylan just leaves to find Janice on his own. Amanda is left in an emotional tailspin.
Avalon - Counter of Cryptic Conversations. Dylan approaches Janice and asks her to get together later. Janice is like, “SURE! WHEN? WHERE?” He tells her how to get to his house and to meet him there after school before he has band practice. With that, he exits. Janice is thrilled. Brooke overheard the whole thing and swoops in on Janice. Did she hear correctly? Did Dylan just ask Janice out? Janice doesn’t think he necessarily meant it that way. I can definitely tell you he definitely did not mean it that way. But a little bit of hope has started to enter Janice’s eyes. Brooke is disgusted by the whole idea, but seems to believe it’s true.
Avalon – Back Booth of Backwards Thinking. Courtney and Arseman try to figure out what Matt meant by “dateless.” Arseman tells her to just ask him what he meant, but it can never be that simple with Courtney. She thinks she’ll mess up what she’s trying to say and look like an idiot, which in all fairness, is probably what would happen. Courtney wants Arseman to ask for her, but Arseman declines such an active role in this courtship. She insists Courtney just grow a pair and ask him herself.
Hillside – Locker Labyrinth. Brooke is giving Stacy all the details on the Dylan-Janice intrigue. They can’t figure out why Dylan wants to spend time with her. Amanda rounds the corner, and Brooke cannot help but delight in shoving it in her little sister’s face that her hopeless quest for Dylan’s affection just got more hopeless because he’s just asked out Janice. Amanda goes into panic mode and runs off. Brooke and Stacy delight in Amanda’s distress. Yes, bitches! It’s wonderful, isn't it?
Hillside – Girls Locker Room. Amanda runs in and finds Janice getting ready for gym. She makes up a lame excuse that she’s looking for a book, but she really just wants to ask Janice about Dylan. Janice admits she is going over to his garage after school, but it’s not exactly a date or anything. Amanda tells her he invites people over to his garage all the time and that she shouldn’t get her hopes up. Then Amanda storms out. It’s actually good advice. Janice should definitely NOT get her hopes up.
Hillside – Stairway to Nowhere. Brooke and Stacy approach Dylan to get the scoop on him and Janice. As a "concerned friend," Brooke wants Dylan to make his intentions clear. Dylan calls Brooke a snoop and heads off without telling her anything she didn’t already know. Brooke gets all huffy about it, and Stacy tries not to laugh in her face, but only barely stifles it.
Dylan’s Garage Band. Dylan enters and is surprised to find Ashley there. The door was open and she didn’t have any place to go. Dylan confirms he hasn’t told anyone she’s back. She is having trouble with her parents and needs to talk to someone. Unfortunately, he has Janice coming over and then band practice after that, so if she wants to keep it secret that she’s back, she should probably not stick around. They decide she’ll go hide someplace else until they can talk later.
Avalon – Main Booth of Main Plot Developments. Courtney approaches Dave and asks if he’s seen Matt. Dave is going to go meet him at the mall later. She asks him to tell Matt to meet her there later to talk. Courtney turns to go, but then decides to pick Dave’s brain. She wants to know if he knows if there’s anyone Matt’s interested in. Dave’s like, “Yeah. You.” Courtney is like, “YAAAAAS!!!”
Dylan’s Garage Band. Janice arrives and is overly excited to be there. She wants to hang out for band practice. She realizes she is acting the fool, and brings it down several notches. Y'all, Janice is learning how to socialize! So why did Dylan invite her here, anyway? He needs help. With the band, she wonders? No, not with the band. They are in the same science class. Janice is good at science and Dylan is not. Okay, so Dylan wants help with science? Janice seems cool with the idea of tutoring him. But no, Dylan just wants her to give him all of her lab notes for the rest of the year. Janice lets this sink in for a second. Oh, Dylan. You’ve offered nothing, and asked for too much! Janice goes off on him. She’s not helping him cheat! She might have zero friends at the school but she has more self-respect than to be a doormat for any of these losers. Good for her! FWIW, I don’t think he led her on romantically. Brooke kind of invented that, and she bought into it. But expecting her to give him all her notes is such a dick move. Janice leaves, disgusted by the whole thing. Dylan’s like, “Great, NOW how am I supposed to pass science??” Try going to class, Dylan!
Avalon – Side Table of Side Conversation. Brooke and Stacy fantasize about what’s happening between Dylan and Janice in his garage. Brooke loves that Amanda is upset about it. Stacy wants to know why Brooke is so hateful toward her. We get the backstory about Brooke buying the geography paper again and how Amanda told their dad about it. So Brooke will get her revenge!
And then we get a rare Season 2 fantasy sequence!! Amanda is in rags (???) and kept in a dungeon (!!!). She begs Brooke for forgiveness and Brooke rejects her request in the most campy over-dramatic way possible. She keeps shouting her lines and chewing the scenery. Why can't Amanda just get up and walk away? Did Brooke break her sister's legs?? It makes no sense and it's glorious. I wish they did at least a half dozen of these per episode. Eventually Brooke just leaves Amanda in her rags and filth to rot for all of eternity. 10s across the board, Show.
Dylan’s Garage Band. Ashley returns to find Dylan. She explains that she hates private school. She came home for the weekend and then told her parents she was sick to buy herself another couple days at home. But now she’s going to have to have the biggest fight with them when she tells them she’s not going back there. If she’s going to have to yell to get her point across, I fear she has no chance at success.
Avalon – Main Booth of Budding Romance. Courtney and Matt discuss what “dateless” means and what they want to do if/when they hang out together. After much hemming and hawing, they decide: YES. THEY HAVE CAUGHT FEELINGS AND THEY WILL GO OUT ON A DATE. But they both think Ashley is gone forever, and she is not! Everything is about to fall apart before it even gets started. Hooray!
Next Time on Fifteen: Ashley comes back to Hillside, all hell breaks loose and everyone’s lives are ruined forever. I can’t wait!
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