Last Time on Fifteen: Geometry homework proved too tough a challenge for Brooke and Dylan. Drumming on beat proved too tough a challenge for Billy. Not spreading rumors proved too tough a challenge for Chris. Not reading Courtney's private correspondence proved too tough a challenge for Matt. Picking up on the most logical of social cues proved too tough a challenge for Erin. Let's see who will fail at the simplest of life's challenges this week!
Opening Credits Observations: Ashley and Chris are seen chatting away at the counter, enjoying a nice conversation about how they're both great at being sociopaths. They don't even care how intently David is stalking them.
Brooke’s Gigantor Bedroom. Brooke’s watching TV (on mute, I guess? There’s no sound.) when Amanda comes in with a snippy message from their dad that he wants to check Brooke’s homework when she’s done. Brooke tells Amanda he should set his clock for 3am, since that’s when it will probably be completed. Amanda doesn’t understand why Brooke has more homework than anyone else in the school. Brooke tells her to get the hell out, since it’s obvious neither Amanda nor their dad actual care about helping her. They just want to pick at all her flaws and act superior. Amanda pretends that’s not the case, but eventually just kinda leaves because it’s totally the truth.
Avalon – Main Booth of Mental Breakdowns. Dylan walks in to find Billy quickly losing his grip on what’s left of his sanity. Dylan is genuinely trying to figure out what’s wrong, but since Billy incorrectly thinks Dylan is secretly trying to kick him out of the band, they are not making a lot of forward progress. Billy non-specifically accuses Dylan of having done something to hurt him and then runs off while the Most Dramatic of Transition Music plays and Dylan looks confused. Did he just miss something here? He did.
Hillside – Losers' Lounge. Matt shoots some garbage into the trash can and Courtney cheers for him. Ugh, THESE TWO. They sit and recap everything that happened between them last week, in case you missed it. Courtney wrote a letter to Jake, Matt read the letter, Courtney got mad at Matt, Matt apologized, Courtney forgave him. Matt seemed to forget that last part, which is why they had to discuss it all again. Matt is curious about Courtney and Jake’s relationship status and Courtney can’t give him a clear answer. She’s keeping her options open for you, Matt!
Hillside - Locker Labyrinth. Some random girls are walking down the hall discussing weekend plans. There are some wild house parties they will be attending. As they approach the Stairway to Nowhere, Brooke pops up, asking about the party details. They are all like, “What party? Gotta fade back into scenery now. Byeee!” Brooke's social status has really taken a dive if even the extras are running away from her. Luckily, Amanda is close by to gloat at her sister’s fall from being Queen Bitch to social pariah. Brooke can’t understand how this happened. Amanda just walks off, not wasting the energy to explain for the twentieth time that Brooke has been evil to everyone for the entire run of the show.
Hillside – Locker Labyrinth. Leah and an Extra Unnamed Friend are discussing what movies they should watch at the sleepover this weekend. EUF suggests The Little Mermaid, which shows she has great taste. Leah insists they get a slasher movie instead. They run into Erin at the Soda machine and fill her in. For some unfathomable reason, Erin still thinks she is not invited to the sleepover, even though Leah gives her all the details about when it’s happening and what they’re going to do. Leah walks off good-naturedly and the Sad Transition Music plays as Erin frowns. OMG ERIN! YOU ARE INVITED TO THIS GODDAM PARTY! GET A FUCKING CLUE!
Avalon – Side Table of Side Conversations. Brooke sits looking over a menu she must have read a million times before. How many different menu options can there possibly be at the Avalon that would make ordering lunch such a difficult choice? Courtney lumbers in. Seriously she looks like she’s living an hour into a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. Brooke tries to ask how Courtney’s doing and how Jake is in China. She speaks in a psychotic sing-song for reasons unknown. Courtney’s like, “BITCH. STOP.” Courtney lays into Brooke for lying about Matt telling her about Courtney’s letter when they both know that wasn’t what happened at all! Was Brooke just trying to ruin Courtney’s friendship with Matt? (Yes! Obviously!) Brooke is totally in Victim Mode right now though, and all she can do is whine about how awful her sister and father are to her, and how at any moment she will suffocate under the mountain of geometry homework that’s piling up even as they speak, and how Brooke must just be too stupid to understand anything anymore. Courtney starts to feel bad for Brooke, because Courtney is an idiot. Brooke runs off. Courtney, momentarily concerned, will forget all about this 30 seconds from now.
Hillside – Stairway to Nowhere. Amanda finds a pom-pon on the floor and picks it up. A young girl in a dowdy cheerleader outfit approaches her. She introduces herself as, “Stacy! Stacy Collins!” and Amanda’s like, “Yeah… I know who you are. We’re in the same grade and go to the same school, so I obviously know you.” It’s amusing that the writers know that they have to introduce Stacy to the audience (she’s the one Brooke is trying to beautify in the intro sequence) but they also know that it makes no sense that Amanda wouldn’t know who she is this far into the school year. It’s a small school. It basically has ONE hallway. Anyway, Stacy makes the connection that Amanda is Brooke’s sister and then goes into this huge hero worship speech about Brooke. Amanda is dumbfounded and actually asks Stacy if she’s sure they’re talking about the same Brooke. Stacy awkwardly exits the scene. Amanda stands there staring after her like, “that bitch is nuts.”
Hillside – Losers' Lounge. Dylan again approaches Billy to find out what’s wrong with him. Billy is all, “AS IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW!!” Dylan is like, “um… I don’t.” Billy is all, “YOU’RE KICKING ME OUT OF THE BAND! AND I HAVE TO HERE ABOUT IT FROM MY FAKE GIRLFRIEND AMANDA, OF ALL PEOPLE!” Dylan is like, “Who the fuck is Amanda, and who is she to me that I would I fucking tell her anything about you?” Conveniently, Amanda is standing not so far away from them, and the camera can pick her up in the background. Dylan advances on her, demanding an explanation. Amanda is totally freaked out because she has a crush on Dylan and here he is, all angrily staring down at her, demanding answers. She explains that Chris told her they had, “deci… decided…” There is something delightful in the way Amanda can’t even get the words out. Dylan is FURIOUS. He is going to kill Chris the next time he sees him. Is this the end of the band??
Avalon – Counter of Counterproductive Attitudes. Matt approaches Erin who is bummed because she is an idiot who doesn’t realize her best friend invited her to a sleepover party. Matt tries to cheer her up and tells her they can go to a movie together that Friday night. Erin wants it to be a slasher movie so she can show up her stupid non-friends. Matt’s like, “Uh… I guess?” So the brother-sister date is on! Courtney approaches and thinks what Matt did was really sweet. Matt doesn’t think it was a big deal, but Courtney’s like, “No! My kid brother has a nervous breakdown almost every day and I never make time for him. You’re a good person!” Matt wanders off and Courtney totally checks out his ass as he walks away. She stares after him for like 45 seconds. Arseman walks by and is like, “GIRL….” Because, seriously. GIRL…
Avalon – Main Booth of Matchmaking. Courtney and Arseman sit down to eat. Courtney mentions she should write to Ashley, since they are still, theoretically, best friends. They haven’t talked at all since Ashley was sent away, because Courtney is a terrible person and basically forgot she existed. "Out of sight, out of mind" is Courtney's entire life philosophy. It's amazing she knows Jake still exists while he's away in China. Arseman slowly asks Courtney what’s going on between her and Matt since sometimes they look very… chummy. Courtney is like, “What? Me and Matt? He was always Ashley’s boyfriend! I never even thought about it. But now that I’ve thought about it for all of 20 seconds, I think he’s really cute and I’m in love with him!” Oh, dear. Arseman, you need to shoot this insanity down, not instigate it.
Dylan’s Garage Band. Dylan lies in wait for Chris, ready to kill him. Chris enters and the confrontation begins! Chris brushes it off at first, but then Dylan grabs him and makes it clear that this is his shitty band and Billy stays! Chris orders Dylan to let go of him! Kill him, Dylan! Grab anything off the set decoration and hit him in the head! But Dylan doesn’t. He lets Chris go and they just look threateningly at each other. What a let down! Blood must be spilt this day!
Avalon - Corner Booth of Social Comebacks. Stacy comes over to talk to Brooke. She compliments Brooke's outfit and her fashion sense. She invites Brooke to join her at a table with more of her friends. Instead, Brooke sees an opportunity to gain a new flunkie, and she invites Stacy to join her table instead. Stacey is thrilled to have all of Brooke's attention. Let the single white female-ing of Brooke begin!
Dylan’s Garage Band.The band plays through their hatred. They sound terrible. When they’re done, Chris and Billy start arguing about what the band’s main problem is. Dylan calls for unity. Chris thinks they need to find a lead singer to help Dylan on the vocals. They all seem on board with this. They should just break up and never talk to each other again. Please let this horrible storyline die!
Brooke’s Gigantor Bedroom. Stacy and Brooke enter and Stacy comments on the fact that it’s the world's largest bedroom ever. Stacy wants to go to the mall after supper, but Brooke still has a ton of geometry homework she has to do. Stacy mentions her brother is good at geometry and would probably help her with the homework. That’s all Brooke needs to hear to fall right back into her old habits of cheating and grand bitchery. Amanda comes in and snits that their Dad wants an update on Brooke’s homework, but Brooke's got her groove back. She tells Amanda to tell Daddy it’s handled, and she’s off to the mall with her new BFF. As allies go, Stacy is several steps down in quality from Evil Kelly, but it also means Stacy will be much easier for Brooke to control.
Avalon – Side Table of Surprise Plot Twists. The Avalon is empty except for the guy behind the counter… and a disheveled-looking Ashley. Dylan comes in and is obviously surprised to see her there since she’s supposed to be away at Private School. “Don’t tell anyone you saw me!” she whispers, before runing off. Dylan stands there looking… totally blank. Maybe he’s going for confused? It certainly doesn’t make sense that if Ashley was trying to hide from everyone, that she’d go get fries at the one place where everyone she knows all hang out all of the time. Whatever! It’s a mystery to be solved next week. We’re done!
Next time, on Fifteen! Intrigue with Dylan and Ashley! Intrigue with Dylan and Janice! Intrigue with Matt and Courtney! So much Intrigue! And Brooke is back to kicking ass and taking names.
No comments:
Post a Comment