Last Time on Fifteen: Ashley returned, and everyone immediately had a cow. Courtney called off her date with Matt, possibly retriggering his DRINKING PROBLEM. Janice continued to accurately tell everyone what awful human beings they all are. Through it all, Brooke delighted in everyone’s misery. It was pretty amazing.
Avalon – Main Booth of Boyfriend Stealers. Courtney sits alone, doing homework and looking miserable. Arseman comes in all cheerful! Courtney, through 5 minutes of exposition, reminds her about all the miserable stuff that happened to them last week. Arseman’s like, “Oh yeah. I forgot that since YOU have problems, I shouldn’t be allowed to smile.” Courtney is upset because she thought Matt would come to the same conclusion that they shouldn’t date since Ashley is back, but he didn’t! And Ashley won’t even talk to her about what’s going on, which Courtney takes REALLY personally. She is unjustified in feeling this way. She made no effort to talk to Ashley about anything for weeks, now she’s all, “Wait, why aren’t we talking?” Arseman figures Ashley will talk when she’s ready. Courtney contemplates cornering Ashley and forcing the issue. I’m sure she’ll make the worst decision possible here.
Hillside – Stairway to Nowhere. It’s the Trio of Extra Girls again! Stacy sees them and asks if they’ve seen Brooke. They haven’t and they are glad of it. One girl asks Stacy is she actually likes Brooke. It’s a reasonable assumption that Stacy could just be using Brooke for something other than friendship, since Brooke has never shown any capacity for being a good friend. Brooke’s house is huge and her family is rich. There's probably a fantastic pool in the backyard that would make spending time with Brooke something you could rationalize. But Stacy insists she likes Brooke as a person. None of the girls can understand this. They know Brooke is a witch. Brooke comes by, overhears them talking about her and stomps away. Stacy runs off after her, already exhausted by the fact that Brooke is going to blame her for this. Stacy has hours of listening to Brooke's tedious whining ahead of her. It really sucks to be Stacy.
Avalon- Pinball Wizard Room. Dylan is playing, while Billy whines about how his Dad is always making plans with him and then bailing. Dylan actually seems to be paying better attention to what Billy is saying than I am. His Dad has a new girlfriend! Good for him! Billy wants to know from Dylan how to seem more mature to girls. Still not over Amanda, Billy?? Dylan tells him to fake it like everyone else. Billy loves lying to himself, so faking things seems like great advice!
Hillside – Girls Locker Room. Courtney and Ashley are getting changed after gym. Courtney tries to extend an olive branch to Ashley and see how she’s doing. Ashley gives very surface answers and will not engage in conversation. Courtney basically throws it down in an, “Are We Even Friends Anymore?” kind of way. Ashley is not in the mood to deal with Courtney’s feelings AT ALL. She is dealing with too much shit and Courtney is not factoring into it (yet!). Courtney stares at her in disbelief. Has Ashley really changed so much in the past few weeks? Maybe Courtney just never bothered to pay attention to who Ashley really was in the first place? That seems more likely to me.
Hillside – Stairway to Nowhere. Chris approaches Dylan. It takes 2 minutes of arguing to establish that Dylan is going to meet Chris at the garage really soon to discuss the lead singer situation. Chris is about as big a jerk about it as possible.
Avalon – Counter of the Contrite. Ashley is getting a drink as Brooke and Stacy approach. Brooke tries to make casual conversation and then asks Ashley if she wants to hang out. Hold the phone. THIS is how Brooke is going to show people she is nice? By approaching the people she’s hurt the most and ask if they want to be pals? She should start with neutral parties as opposed to the openly hostile. Brooke is clueless. Ashley, for obvious reasons, just asks Brooke what she really wants. Brooke swears her intentions are pure, but Ashley’s not wasting another second on her and walks away. Brooke turns to Stacy and is like, “You see?” Stacy is no help. The Niceness Campaign is off to a fantastic start.
Hillside – Stairway to Nowhere. Courtney runs into Matt and asks him how he’s doing. He think it depends on what she means. They hem and haw about this for roughly an hour before Matt gets annoyed by it. Courtney just FEELS BAD and wants Matt to be okay with them not going out. She wants to be friends, and she’s not just saying that! Matt’s like, “sounds great” but it still seems considerably less than great by his tone. He walks into the Losers Lounge where Arseman is eating lunch. When Matt sits down, she goes over and tries to be there for him. He swears everything is fine even as his depression becomes more apparent by the minute. At this rate, a resurgence of his DRINKING PROBLEM is on its way in no time. Hooray!
Elsewhere in the Losers Lounge at lunch, Leah tries to trade her corned beef sandwich for Erin’s lunch. Erin can’t switch because she is... vegetarian. Secret shame! Will people accept her? Never fear! Arseman is vegetarian too! Veggie friends! Billy strides over and starts talking about being a hunter. He is trying to impress them. He is so stupid! No one at that table is going to like him more for shooting Bambi. Arseman is particularly interested in calling bullshit on him until he runs away. Try for a less off-putting lie next time, Billy!
Dylan’s Garage Band. Ashley comes in and hears someone on the guitar thinking it’s Dylan. But it’s Chris. Chris tries to make moves on Ashley and it’s CREEPY! Dylan thankfully enters and breaks it up. The tension between Dylan and Chris skyrockets! But if clips from the show’s intro are to be believed, Chris and Ashley will eventually be on much better speaking terms. Gross.
Hillside – Locker Labyrinth. Arseman is taking an indirect route with Courtney, trying to get her to talk about Matt and Ashley. Arseman asks if she told Ashley about almost dating Matt. Of course, Courtney hasn’t! How is she supposed to do that? Ashley doesn’t want to talk to her about anything. Arseman gets it, but gently pushes her on it, because it wasn’t a secret they were going on a date and the news is bound to get back to Ashley. Probably in the next scene, even!
Avalon - Main Booth of Major Revelations. Matt approaches Ashley in the booth and eventually asks to sit down. They have some small talk before Matt drops the bombshell that he asked Courtney out while she was gone and Courtney said yes. Ashley’s brain explodes all over the room. She collects her scattered brain matter and her books, wishes him the best with Courtney and runs out into the street. We'd hear her screaming if she wasn't always so quiet. Matt looks shocked, as if that wasn’t what he was expecting from her at all. I think that was the best reaction he could’ve hoped for, honestly.
Hillside – Losers Lounge. Billy is STILL trying to talk to Leah and Erin about hunting. FOR FUCK’S SAKE, STOP. Arseman thankfully comes by (again) and shuts this line of stupidity down for good. Seriously, shut up, Billy! The girls all laugh about how stupid Billy is and it's richly deserved.
Avalon – Pinball Wizard Room. Dylan is playing pinball as Brooke, Stacy and the Niceness Campaign Train pull into the station. This is another lost cause. It’s like she doesn’t remember that time last season when she dated Dylan for a hot second and then dumped him in front of everyone when he got in trouble at school. So Brooke’s like, “What’s new?” and Dylan’s like, “Me… talking to you!” BURN! Brooke soldiers on, offering her help with anything if he ever needs it. She means homework, but Dylan suggests laundry instead. He shouts out Brooke’s requests to do laundry to everyone in the Avalon. She is HUMILIATED and runs off. Stacy follows, but seems to really enjoy watching Brooke be shot down by all these people. Chris comes over to Dylan and wants to argue more about how Dylan shot him down earlier with Ashley. He tells Dylan to never do it again! These two are going to kill each other. They should not be friends.
Brooke’s Gigantor Bedroom. The Niceness Campaign is over. It was a total failure. Brooke is seething. Stacy tries to put a positive spin on Brooke’s many rejections, but Brooke is not having it. She is going back to being brutally honest and if anyone doesn’t like it they can shove it. For instance, Brooke wants to talk about Stacy’s outfit. It looks like someone threw it on Stacy with a pitchfork. Brooke is not wrong. The outfit is terrible. Hooray for the return of Brutally Honest Brooke!
Avalon – Counter of Confrontation! Ashley storms in, finds Courtney and gets all up in her face. Has Ashley been running around looking for Courtney this whole time? She could’ve just stayed in the Avalon with Matt and waited for Courtney to show up and yelled at both of them at once. Anyway, Ashley wastes little time throwing Courtney’s words back at her. It’s great that Courtney wants Ashley to talk about what’s going on with her, while making no mention of the fact Courtney was planning to date Matt! Courtney’s tries to protest that it isn’t a fair comparison, but Ashley unfriends her anyway, right on the spot. With that, Ashley is once again running out the door. Today's Special on the Avalon's menu is Delicious Drama!
Next Time on Fifteen. Brooke gives Stacy a successful makeover, then gets really jealous and tries to undermine her. Matt’s DRINKING PROBLEM once again becomes a Hot Topic. Billy starts fantasizing about Ashley when she auditions to be the lead singer of Dylan’s Band. It's tragic and glorious. Join me, won't you?
No comments:
Post a Comment