Last time on Fifteen: Billy pretended to be deer hunter for the girls, and the girls all laughed in his face. Courtney pretended that she didn't almost go out with Matt, and Ashley ended their friendship over it. Brooke pretended to be nice, until she remembered it's better to openly be a bitch to people. Who's gonna stop playing pretend, and start getting real, this week?
Avalon - Main Booth of Macho Men. Matt is sitting with David and a bunch of dudes from the basketball team. All the guys are going on and on about how awesome Matt is for scoring two free throws in the last game. TWO FREE THROWS! And they weren't even crucial to them winning the game! Is David paying these kids to pump up Matt's ego? They are literally chanting his name and pounding the table. It's absurd. Eventually the other dudes leave so Matt and Dave can talk. Dave tries to continue the Matt hero worship, but already its effects have worn off. Matt's unhappy, and he's back to complaining about Coach Williams and the lack of court time he's seeing. You know Matt's backsliding when he starts saying the Coach's name in italics. I think Matt has an EGO PROBLEM that's even bigger than his DRINKING PROBLEM. Dave insists that things are going back to the way they were, but Matt knows there's no going back, because Ashley is no longer around to take all of his insane shit. He can only dump his toxic thoughts onto Dave. What a loss for Matt!
Hillside - Bench Bonanza? I don't understand what this location is supposed to be. There are three extra benches set up in what is usually the Losers Lounge. Are we pretending this is an another part of the school? It's clearly the same area we always see. Anyway, Brooke is trying to help Stacy overcome the limitations of wearing a hideous outfit. It's hopeless. The shirt is a horror show. It looks like an 8-year-old's 4th of July themed pajama top. Brooke is trying to be encouraging and offers to help her with a makeover if Stacy will go to the mall with her during lunch today. Stacy says she has no money, but Brooke implores her to just use her dad's credit card, since this is obviously a true fashion emergency. Stacy is reluctant to use her dad's card for this purpose, but I'm sure she'll cave.
Avalon - Counter of Copious Exposition. Dylan enters and sits next to Chris. They argue about the same shit they always argue about. They need to get the band together! Billy is still in the band! Dylan shouldn't have showed Chris up in front of Ashley! Chris shouldn't have stepped to Ashley! They finally call a truce. God, I wish they would just stop talking to each other altogether! Dylan believes he has a solution to that lead singer problem that nobody cares about. We'll find about it later, I guess? These two together are really killing me this season.
Hillside - Losers Lounge. Billy approaches Ashley and they shoot the shit. Billy tells her the band is doing some "New Kids' Stuff" (!!!) and some "metal." Because boy band pop and metal are so close to each other in terms of sound. Ashely doesn't really want to talk to Billy, but she's being polite. She does want to talk to Courtney though, and leaves to go find her. Billy takes this opportunity to go over to Amanda who's sitting not too far away and shoves it in her face that not everyone finds him hopelessly immature. Amanda's like, "Big deal. Ask her out if you're so awesome." Billy considers this. It's the stupidest thing ever, so it seems like a first rate idea to him.
Hillside - Locker Labyrinth. Dylan approaches Ashley at her locker. They talk about her Loser Parents for a while, and then Matt shows up. TENSION!!! Ashley says she heard that the basketball team won their last game. Matt thought Ashley might show up, but no, she ain't got time for that. Matt wanders off, depressed. Dylan takes this moment to ask Ashley to audition for lead singer of the band. Ashley thinks it's ridiculous. I agree! She can't sing! Dylan doesn't care. He's in love with her and wants to spend as much time with her as possible. He doesn't say this, but it's obvious. He won't take no for an answer. So we're in for a treat before the end of the episode when we hear her sing with the band. It would be kind of hilarious if she only speaks in whispers, but then when she goes to sing she has this big booming voice. A Star is Born! I don't think we're headed in that direction, though.
THE MALL - Women's Department! A brand new location! More than additional benches in the Losers Lounge! How exciting! Brooke has picked out a stylish polka dot dress for Stacy. Stacy is still unsure about buying it on her dad's credit card. Brooke shames her in about 50 different ways until she finally buys it. Stacy is such a drag this episode. Brooke should be spending her time on on schemes of psychological destruction instead of pity makeovers!
Hillside - Losers Lounge. Ashley finds Courtney sitting at the same table she herself had just been sitting at with Billy. They have a slooooow and awkward conversation, apologizing to each other for the fight they had at the end of the last episode. They leave things better than where they started, but they still seem to have miles to go before they are BFF again.
Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Matt is pretending to play pinball while Dave hangs on the side of the machine. Dave has the unfortunate task of telling Matt that Coach Williams is considering giving him more playing time, but is concerned about Matt's DRINKING PROBLEM being an issue again. Matt completely flips out. He yells at Dave like he's back in Season 1 yelling at Ashley. He does NOT have a DRINKING PROBLEM! It was just a couple beers on a Friday night with the guys and he hasn't had a drop in weeks! Dave is sorry he brought it up, but there's no turning back. Matt storms off. He is being a total dick about everything this week.
Hillside - Losers Lounge. Ashley is looking for her math textbook and comes across Billy. He finds it on the chair Courtney was sitting in when Ashley was talking to her earlier. So I guess Courtney was sitting on the book, hiding it from Ashley? Maybe their friendship is farther from being mended than I thought. Ashley tells Billy she's trying out for lead singer of the band. Billy thinks this is a great idea because he is SUDDENLY IN LOVE WITH HER. He starts acting really weird, so Ashley gets out of there, but that won't stop him from a FANTASY SEQUENCE where they are eating a fancy romantic dinner and he's a big success and she thinks he's so mature. Even Billy's fantasies are lame. He has NO shot with Ashley. Oh dear.
Hillside - Stairway to Nowhere. Brooke and Stacy enter, with Stacy now wearing her fancy dress. Stacy is uncomfortable with the new outfit, but Brooke insists it looks great. Suddenly, all the boys are surrounding Stacy. At long last, her milkshake is bringing all the boys to the yard! Brooke's plan to be nice to Stacy has worked too well and she's pissed that Stacy is getting more attention than her. Amanda strolls by to taunt her about it. Brooke has to come up with a plan to destroy Stacy's newfound confidence FAST. and return her to her cheap ugly clothes. Hooray!
Dylan's Garage Band. Ashley sings the following, very poorly, "Don't know why you said goodbye and now that you're gone, I'm on my own." SHE STINKS! It's truly terrible. She knows it. She's embarrassed by her own suckitude. Ashley leaves so they can talk about it as a band. Billy thinks it was SO GREAT! Chris is not going to put up with two shitty band mates though. One is the absolute limit, and he since he can't get rid of Billy (yet), Ashley can't join. He insists that Billy and Dylan acknowledge that her singing is lousy and it's not going to work out. Dylan seems bummed, but he knows it's true.
Avalon - Main Booth of Manipulative Bitches. Brooke tries to apologize to Stacy for pushing her into getting the new outfit. Stacy has come around to the new look, thanks to all of the extra male attention she's gotten that afternoon. Brooke goes top-level underminer and tells Stacy that although no one has been mean enough to tell her, she looks fat in that outfit. Stacy can't believe what she's hearing, because she knows she is practically rail thin. Billy wanders by at this moment and stops to tell Stacy that she looks amazing. Stacy doesn't take this moment to completely call bullshit on Brooke, but she does plainly state that no one else seems to think she looks fat. Brooke realizes she's lost the battle, but remains committed to winning the war.
Dylan's Garage Band. Ashley comes back after Chris and Billy have left. Dylan tells Ashley she's not going to be the lead singer. Ashley thinks that's obvious, because she can't sing! They laugh about how stupid of an idea it was anyway. If so, why did we just spend an entire episode entertaining the notion she could be the lead singer? Ugh, this show!
Hillside - Boys Locker Room. Dave and Matt get changed. Matt apologizes to Dave for the way he acted earlier, but you can tell he's more sorry that Dave and Coach Williams decided to question his integrity. Dave swears it will never happen again. But I'm sure it will, in fact, happen again. Very soon. And as a result, there will be more yelling and assholery coming from our dear friend Matt.
Dylan's Garage Band. Chris returns to make sure Dylan got rid of Ashley as lead singer. He did, but now they are right back where they started. Chris tells him to find an actual lead singer soon, because Jerry down at the Avalon is bringing in bands on the weekend. He wants to hear their band, and if he likes what he hears they are in. A paying gig! Dylan is stoked! A band with a crappy drummer and a non-existent lead singer sounds perfect for the Avalon! What could go wrong?
That's... the end of the episode? No Arseman. No Janice. No Erin and Leah. No "John" or "Roxanne" who have been listed as cast members in the end credits all season, but have yet to appear once. We're already heading into Episode 9 of a thirteen episode season. I guess we're infor a lot of plot twists in the season's third act!
Next Time on Fifteen! - Arseman emerges as the top contender to be lead singer in Dylan's band! Courtney might just be Janice's new best friend! John shows up as a character! Dylan and Ashley get closer to couplehood and Matt gets closer to drinking again!
No comments:
Post a Comment