Last time on Fifteen: Ashley tried out for lead singer of Dylan's band and it was laughably bad. Brooke tried to give Stacy a tiny makeover, and did a much better job than she planned. David tried to bring up Matt's drinking problems and got screamed at for it. A LOT. Will this be the week when everybody just stops trying?
Avalon - Counter of Crummy Bandmates. Dylan, Chris and Billy are waiting for Jerry, the son of the owner of the Avalon. He's the one who books the bands, and the person they all need to impress. Considering this band hsa no lead singer and no talent, this is going to be a hard sell. Jerry shows up and Chris immediately tries to negotiate the percentages, but Jerry needs to hear them play before he books them. Chris and Billy are game, but Dylan stalls things until later in the week. Remember that whole thing about not having a lead singer yet, guys? Oh yeah! They better get on that, or they won't get the gig!
Hillside - Locker Labyrinth. Courtney approaches Ashley and asks her to hang out after school. Ashley's like, "Maybe... unless I can think of anything else to do. I'll let you know." Then Courtney brings up how she almost went out with Matt when Ashley was away and things get hella awkward. OMG, are we still talking about this? It's over! But this time Ashley says it's her fault, because she thought she was over him, but then she realized she's not really ready to see him with someone else. (A polite reminder you don't get to decide how quickly he moves on, Ashley!) Courtney believes that Ashley still cares about Matt A LOT, and if that's the case, she HAS to tell him. Why? She shouldn't tell him anything of the sort. They were horrible together. She should maybe date Dylan, if she has to date somebody. But why date any of these losers? She should not start things up with Matt again. He's awful to her, and who needs that?
Hillside - Girls Locker Room. We've jumped ahead some amount of the school day, because now Courtney is getting changed after gym, even though we just saw her in the hallway with the guys. How much time did we lose? Anyway, Janice is there and Courtney compliments her play during in-class volleyball. Janice explains she used to play on the team at her old school. Courtney thinks she's good. Janice takes this opening to ask Courtney to hang out. Courtney can't today, but maybe tomorrow? Janice can't believe Courtney's generosity! Neither can I! Is this the start of a beautiful friendship?
Hillside - Soda Machine. There's this little kid trying to fight with the machine. His name is John. I swear he's like 5 years old. Billy comes by and shows him where to hit the machine in order to get the can. John is appreciative, but then Billy gives this delusional speech out of nowhere about how great Dylan's band is and how great a drummer he is and it's clear he's completely lost his grip on reality. John's like "Wow, I never knew any of this was true!" Because it's not true, John. Billy likes to tell people about the world as he wishes it was, not as it is.
Billy leaves John to talk to Ashley, as Erin and Leah watch from a bench. Billy tells Ashley how he let Dylan and Chris have it for not picking her to be lead singer in the band. He thinks she was fantastic. Billy lies to himself as much as he does to everyone around him. Ashley laughs off his puppy dog stupidity. She touches Billy's arm as she gets up to go to her next class and Billy stares at his arm as if it now radiating some special power. Maybe in his messed up mind, that is what's happening. Erin and Leah laugh at how stupid the crush is making Billy. John snips that all girls are stupid and no one should have any interest in them. The show waits nine episodes into the season to introduce John and this is what they give him to do? Yeesh.
Avalon - Back Booth of Book Reports and Big Bothers. Billy finds Dylan who is working on a book report that's already past due. Dylan politely asks Billy to leave him alone until after school so Dylan can finish his work. Billy ignores him. He just keeps talking about his stupid crush and how he doesn't know how to tell a girl that he likes her. Dylan gets increasingly annoyed that Billy won't leave him alone and finally tells him to buy her something expensive before he storms off to work peacefully elsewhere. Dylan's frustration is completely lost on Billy, as he goes to work planning the perfect expensive gift. I can't wait for the day that all of Billy's fantasies come crashing down around him. That day is certainly coming!
Hillside - Losers Lounge. Courtney and Arseman discuss the sad state of affairs that is Dylan's search for a new lead singer. Arseman thinks Courtney should do it, which is only slightly less laughable that Ashley doing it. Arseman forces Courtney to sing something right then and there and Courtney picks "Michael, Row The Boat Ashore" which is TOO PERFECT for Courtney. She rightly gets embarrassed by it before she can get through an entire line. Courtney then challenges Arseman to sing and she sounds fine. She sings a song called, "Mama Says Be Glad," but I googled it and couldn't find any record of it, so I assume they wrote it just for the show. Everyone goes crazy about how great she sounded and Dylan runs over and asks her to be lead singer in his band. Man, it's all SO ridiculous. After a commercial break, Dylan and Courtney pressure Arseman into auditioning that afternoon. Arseman agrees, but she really doesn't seem to have it high on her priority list. Once she hears how bad they play, it's gonna drop even further down that list.
Hillside - Locker Labyrinth. Dylan is telling Ashley how good Arseman was singing in the hallway and that's she's lead singer material. Ashley's like, "Better her than me!" She mentions Billy's lie about yelling at them for not picking her and they both laugh at his stupidity. Then they share a super awkward hug! It's hilarious. You know who's not laughing? Matt, who is spying on them from like three lockers down. These kids need better lessons on how to spy on friends and ex-lovers.They should offer it as an elective at Hillside!
Dylan's Garage Band. Chris is late for Arseman's audition. He doesn't apologize. They decide to sing "Mama Says Be Glad" again for her audition. The vocal is a little nervous at first, but it grows in confidence as it goes on. Billy and Dylan want to offer the job right there, but Chris makes her go wait outside so they can talk. It's a dumb move, because it's obvious they are going to hire her. When she comes back in and they tell her she's in, she does not jump at the offer. Instead she tells the boys it's their turn to audition for her. OH, SNAP! The tables have turned!
Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Courtney tries to teach Janice how to play pinball. Janice is overwhelmed by it. Pull it together, Janice! It's just pinball. And then suddenly, Janice kinda falls apart out of nowhere. She starts babbling on about how she knows how people look at her and she knows she should stop talking, but she can't and then it all gets crazy! Courtney's like, "HEYYYY! It's all good calm down!" And then Janice collapses into Courtney's arms, sobbing. It's DRAMATIC, y'all.
Dylan's Garage Band. The guys finish their audition song for Arseman. They sound kinda crappy. Arseman does not look impressed. The guys look nervous. They want a quick yes from her, but she declares she needs 24 hours to think on it, and if she can't get 24 hours to think, she won't join the group. I love a girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it.
Avalon - Pinball Wizard Room. Matt comes into the Avalon and Ashley goes over to talk to him. She lets him know that she has started mending her friendship with Courtney. She tries to apply the lessons she learned from that experience to her relationship with Matt, but Matt angrily jumps the gun, making accusations toward Ashley about her feelings for Dylan. Ashley is all, "How the fuck did we start talking about Dylan?" But Matt keeps yelling at her, claiming she's been stringing him along, in case things don't work with Dylan. Ashley realizes she doesn't have to put up with Matt's insanity anymore since they are not a couple. Matt's all. "I'll drink to that!" and Ashley counters, "Oh, you probably will!" BURN! Ashley has HAD IT, y'all. She is tired of being blamed for everything, She storms out and Matt stands there, looking miserable. Am I supposed to feel bad for him? I don't. He's officially the worst again.
Wait, that's the whole episode? Where's Brooke?? How could we go a whole episode without her??
Next Time on Fifteen. Brooke, and Stacy are back in the mix (thank goodness!). Maybe Dave shows up again too? Arseman joins the band, but the whole thing might be over before it starts because of a stupid bet between Chris and Dylan about who can get a date with her first. Billy tries to give Ashley that goddam scarf he bought her. Courtney loses her grandmother's necklace, and all eyes turn to Janice as the jewel thief! Say it ain't so! (It ain't so.)
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