Kiss the 2013 Aussie Open Goodbye!

Ah, the Aussie Open. It's been a fun two weeks of tennis with some really great matches. But here we are at the end of all things, and only 1 of 4 finals went the way I wanted it to go. Sometimes that's how the tennis ball bounces. Let's review:

WOMEN'S SINGLES FINAL - AZARENKA d. LI - 4-6. 6-4, 6-3. Blerg. Lotsa folks (including me) were hoping for a Serena-Sharapova face off, but Sloane Stephens and Li Na thought otherwise in the quarters and semis respectively. That's all fair. Can't hate on that. But then in the Aza-v-Stephens semi, Azarenka pulled some bullshit, stopping the match in the second when Stephens had momentum for a "panic attack" or some kind of rib cage issue and fans in the stadium, the commentators and the press were all pissed about it. That created a kind of "Anyone but Azarenka" vibe to the Final Match. Unfortunately, Li couldn't come through. After winning the first set, she suffered some bad errors and two bad tumbles in the second and third set, while Vika stayed consistent. It's not that I hate Vika or anything, but it wasn't a victory you could really cheer unreservedly and it made me miss Serena-v-Sharapova even more so.

WOMEN'S DOUBLES FINAL - The only bummer about this one is that it just wasn't featuring the Williams Sisters. I always want them to win. Instead, top-seeded Sara Errani and Roberta Vinci of Italy beat the Australian pair of Ashleigh Barty and Casey Dellacqua 6-2, 3-6, 6-2 for the title. Man, the Aussie's were so close to a title win on home soil! If you want to know how little anyone cares about women's doubles when Venus and Serena aren't involved, both tennis.com and australianopen.com didn't have any direct links to articles about the match. I had to google "women's doubles final to find an article about it. Thankfully The Hindu wrote up a blurb so I knew who was playing!

MEN'S SINGLES FINAL - Djokovic d. Murray - 6-7 (2), 7-6 (3), 6-3, 6-2. So close those first two sets! And then not so close. UGH! So Novak three-peats in OZ. Well, good on him. Still not a huge fan, but you cannot deny that he really brings his best to Melbourne and that nobody can pull out 5-set wins in matches he should lose in the most dramatic fashion. The best match of the tournament was definitely Novak-vs.-Stan Wawrinka in the 4th round. You were so close, Stan! Keep up the great work! Now that OZ is over we get to wonder again about the oft-delayed, still-more-likely-than-a-Broadway-production-of-Rebecca return of Our Hero, Rafael Nadal. What will the Spring look like? Will Rafa dominate on the clay? Will he even show up at the US hard court tourneys? What's it gonna be?? I really hope it's back up and running to a full set of the Big Four. Even if you're not the biggest Rafa fan (then why are you reading my blog???) you have to admit that the energy of the tour is simply not the same without him.

MEN'S DOUBLES FINAL - BRYAN/BRYAN d. HAASE/SIJSLING 6-3, 6-4 Finally! One I'm super excited about! Wonder Twins Bob and Mike won their 13th major title becoming the winningest team in Grand Slam history. The Bryans already had a career Grand Slam, but like Djokovic in singles, they have had the most success Down Under. They've now got six Aussie trophies, 4 U.S. Open's, 2 Wimby wins and one French. They've also been ranked No. 1 in doubles for 8 of the past 10 years, won at least one Slam title for a record 9 consecutive years and won a record 84 career titles. And of course last year they won the gold medal at the London Olympics. When they eventually do retire, they'll have left pretty much no stone unturned, and set an impossibly high bar for any men's doubles teams after them. Plus it's great that they seem like such nice guys and with US men's singles struggling to keep a presence at the top of the sport, it's great to have the consistency of the Bryan Brothers on the doubles side. Let's go for the calendar slam this year, fellas! You can do it!!

My next tournament to watch is the VTR OPEN starting on Feb. 4 in Vina del Mar, Chile. The clay court tourney will be the return of Rafa to the ATP tour. VAMOS!!!

The Apple: A (Somewhat) Live Blog

(This extended movie trailer provides evidence that everything I'm about to say is true.)

A few years ago, my friend Alex introduced me to this insane, non-sensical low-budget musical called The Apple. What the hell is The Apple, you say? Well, the Apple is a 1980 science fiction rock opera set in a futuristic 1994 (!!!)  that deals with a corrupt music corporation run by the devil who has taken over the world. These two young Canadian singers come on the scene and I guess they are kinda like Adam and Eve (just go with it) and there is an apple, and their lives are basically destroyed, and there's a lot of dancing done in giant group numbers to crazy songs. Wikipedia says, "set in America but filmed in Germany, [Te Apple] was released in West Germany as "Star Rock" in 1979. The film was critically panned and a box office bomb when given an extremely limited U.S. release. It is one of the few movie musicals that has not yet been a live musical." Seriously, somebody needs to make this happen. If I'm not getting a Broadway production of Rebecca, I want a Broadway version of The Apple. C'mon, Julie Taymor. The public cries out for you.

This movie is one of my "So Bad It's Good" gems. Another friend of mine, mentioned on the FB that she was going to watch it tonight and I figured I'd turn it on and do commentary on it as well. I haven't been drinking, so I don't know how this is going to work in terms of me maintaining my sanity. You may want to pour yourself a glass of merlot before we start...

11:15pm: We begin our journey. Thank you MGM for having te balls to bring us this movie. I wonder, how much money was lost in the endeavor?

11:16 - Oddly dressed people are running around screaming while being chased by other oddly-dressed people on motorcycles. They're outside some kind of United Nations building, but they are going to some kind of rock concert. Everyone keeps screaming as they make their way inside. Are they excited or terrified? Am I excited or terrified? The answers to both question is: I simply don't know.

11:18 - It's a rock stage show. There's a white dude and a black chick in gray metallic bathing suits along with swim caps. They shout great lyrics like "Hey Hey Hey! BIM's the only way!" and some other non-rhyming gems like "There ain't no good! There ain't no bad! There's ain't no happiness! There ain't no... tears!" What "sad" was too obvious? The studio audience is totally into it, those mindless fools. There's gotta be at least two dozen back up dancers on stage for this number. What spectacle! It's huge! That's what SHE said!

11:22 - It's Mr. Boogaloo aka The Devil in the control room. I can't understand a word he says through what I guess is an Eastern European accent? I wish I knew how to get closed captioning on Netflix! Boogaloo's cracked out assistant tells Boog their crap BIM themes song scored 150 hearts! What the fuck does that even mean? We'll never find out. But it's a good score, I guess.

11:25 - Our "heroes" Alfie and Bibi take the stage to sing an original love song called "Love The Universal Melody." The audience hates it at first, but then they shut up and listen. They've been won over by choice lyrics like "la, la la la la!" Bibi looks a bit like Susan Dey during the Partridge Family and Alfie has the partly vacant/ partly frightened stare of a Will Ferrell character.

11:28 - The guy who plays the evil henchman Shake is just ABOVE AND BEYOND. I don't know how else to describe his acting choices nor his intonation on the line delivery. It's so over the top. It's amazing. Plus Shake's covered in like a three-inch coating of silver glitter.I stop the movie to check IMDB to make sure he's still alive. He is! He does a lot of theater. Good for him.

11:34 - Alfie and Bibi score 151 hearts (which means?) and Boogaloo takes action making the sound guy play interference (if anyone sees hims doing it then he's DEAD! VERY DEAD!) and the crowd gets angry and turns against them. Alfie and Bibi finish the song in disgrace and bewilderment. They basically stay that way for the next 90 minutes. I guess they lose the competition... even though they had the higher score? Who knows! No one bothered to explain the rules. The whole thing is rigged by Boogaloo.

11:39 - There's some kind of post-contest celebration at Boogaloo's, and Alfie and Bibi are invited for some reason, so they decide to go for some other reason. Nothing's explained! Boogaloo wants to sign them to his Evil Music Label, I guess. Everyone starts wearing BIM triangles on their foreheads as a fashion statement too.

11:41 - The metallic bathing suit duo from earlier are apparently named Dandi and Pandi. Pandi is the girl. I mean, obvs. right?

11:42 - At the party, Dandi clearly wants to Do It with Bibi, while Pandi wants to Do It with Alfie. Have I mentioned Alfie's pants are the tightest pants ever? Because they are. He's wearing jeggings before there jeggings were even a thing!

11:43 - Rule for life: When all else fails, say "MOOSE JAW!" it's hilarious, everyone around you will laugh. Shake says it like 15 times in a row. Alfie and Bibi are from Moose Jaw. LOLOLOLOL!!!

11:45 - Bibi looks out over a balcony: "I've never been so high in my life!" This is before she even takes any drugs!

11:46 - Bibi takes a bunch of drugs handed to her by Dandi without any thought or hesitation. Then they start making out. Hey Bibi, you're supposed to be in love with Alfie! We're only 20 minutes into the movie! Slow down, girl!

11:48 - Dandi and Bibi sing this song called "Made for Me" it has a million cutaway shots to dancers in costumes and wigs that would make the people living in the Hunger Games capital look subdued.

11:50 - Alfie finally finds Bibi kissing Dandi and pulls her out of there. He barely reacts emotionally. They don't discuss the drugs or the kissing. They just leave. Where's the drama??

11:53 - I guess it's the next day now? Bibi and Alfie have come to Boogaloo's Evil Empire building to sign a contract of some sorts - even though they kinda suck musically and they definitely lost the big contest. It's a contract for their SOULS, see? Bibi is totally into singing on with BIM, but Alfie thinks it's an awful idea. Their scenes together are ice cold. I swear these two hate each other.

11:55 - Boogaloo apparently isn't ready for them when they arrive, so naturally this totally insane musical number explodes in the lobby while they're waiting. It's called "Show Business" and stars... Mr. Boogaloo, who you might recall can't see them because he's busy. But he's right there! And there are over 100 extras doing the choreo here. It's crazy.

11:58 - Finally they go to Mr. Boog's office. He wants them to sign right away. Alfie wants their lawyers to look at it first. Bibi wants Alfie to stop ruining all their chance!. I can't figure out where Alfie's accent comes from. It's not American. Nor Canadian. Austrian?

12:00 - Alfie has visions of an earthquake in the office, with terrible destruction and dismay. He stares at it all with total indifference.What does this mean? Does he have special powers of seeing the future and not caring?

11:02 - Now we're in some weird alternate universe that's underground. Dandi is in a g-string. He's singing the title song "The Apple." There are more dancers than ever before. Have I mentioned the choreography in this movie was done by Nigel Lythgoe - executive producer of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance? It's the highlight of the film, hands down. It keeps you watching. Choice Lyric here: it's a natural natural natural desire! with an actual actual actual vampire!

12:06 - We're magically back in the office. Alfie won't take the contract. Bibi wants to do it even without Alfie.  So after a huge production number nothing has changed! Well, Alfie's pants seem tighter than ever. He leaves, Bibi signs.

12:08 - Booglaoo sings another song called "The Master." It's sort of the Apple's version of Rainbow High. Bibi is getting decked out. All her descamisados expect her to outshine the enemy! She won't disappoint them!

12:10 - We barely can catch our breath before it's time for the movie's best number "Speed." It basically is a music video where Bibi sings about America being on drugs. The lyrics require her to keep screaming "Speeeeed!" "Speeeeeed!" It's amazing and will definitely get stuck in your head. They are employing at least 8 smoke machines to cover the background dancers here too. LOTS of smoke!

12:13 - An old lady on the street is being accosted by police officer for not wearing a BIM triangle on her face. It turns out she's Alfie's landlord.

12:14 - We learn Alfie wears tighty-non-whitey briefs and that's all he sleeps in. And the Landlady just comes into his apartment. Does Bibi normally live here with him? Like so many things in this movie, it remains unclear. Does Alfie have a sexual relationship with his much older landlady? Quite possibly.

12:16 - Alfie sings "Where Has Love Gone." to his landlady/inappropriate love interest. It's a new original song he just wrote or something! Choice Unrhymed Lyric: I've searched every street of this cold wicked city. I don't know where else she could be. I hear that he's well and she's happy, I'll believe it when she tells me so.

12:18 It's the national BIM hour! Everyone has to stop what they're doing and dance as part of the National Fitness Program. Boogalooo means EVERYONE! Of the many scenes we are subjected to witnessing, my favorites are firefighters dancing in front of a burning building, doctors dancing in an operating room while the patient dies and an assortment of nuns in a park. They are breaking it DOWN.

12:22 - Bibi is the new craze with all the kids. Nobody cares about Dandi and Pandi anymore which doesn't sit well with them. A crowd of extras rushes Bibi. Did any of them put this movie on their resumes later on? Alfie tries to fight through the extras to get to Bibi, but instead he gets the shit beaten out of him by BIM security. Bibi starts to reconsider her sorry state of being. She doesn't actually help Alfie in any way though. She's such a bitch, that Bibi.

12:25 - Bibi and Alfie sing an EPIC sad song, "Cry for Me." She sings it while at the window in her penthouse suite in hooker garb. In the words of Latrice Royale, God God, Get a Grip Girl! Alfie sings as he drags his broken body up the stairs of his 5-flight walk up.  Naturally it's raining during the song. There are big thunder and lightning effects to let you know how bad tings are right now for them. Choice lyric: Oh, Alfie, I wish that I were DEAD. I'd rather die than know that I hurt you. How can I go on? You were the only hope left in this hopeless world! And now you're gone. You're gone!

Bathroom Break for O

12:30 -The Landlady nurses Alfie back to health. She gives him a poor man's "Peoples is Peoples" type of speech to motivate him to try to save Bibi. Dude, she is NOT worth it. Live a good live with Landlady instead! But alas, no. Oh, Landlady, he was never yours to lose. Why regret what cannot be?

12:33 - Alfie goes to a Boogaloo party to save Bibi. He runs into a bunch of transvestites who are not sweet and not from Transexual Transylvania. Pandi gives Alfie a drink, but it's roofied and he gets woozy and  then she rapes him! She does! Seriously! While singing this horrible disco song called "Coming For You," no less! It's prominently featured in the trailer embedded above.There is absolutely zero subtext to the lyrics. Is this supposed to be a sexy rape? A funny rape? A legitimate rape? Regardless of how you categorize it, I don't know why any of this is okay. The actual Doing It is represented by a dozen couple dancing the kama sutra positions while Pandi makes panting noises and Alfie screams for Bibi. Holy Jeebus, make this terrible song end! Finally it does. Alfie puts his clothes back on and stumbles toward an exit but before he goes, he finds Bibi Doing It with Dandi. Then he blacks out.

12:42 Alfie wakes up suddenly outside in some park in Germany. Was it all just some horrible nightmare?

12:44 - Unfortunately no. Bibi wakes up the next morning feeling hung over. Shake is there in metallic bikini briefs asking her to go in the sauna. She declines. Your loss, Bibi! Shakes is the best you can do at this point! Bibi thinks she remembers Alife being there, and Pandi confirms that he was. She neglects to mention the RAPING HIM part of the evening. Suddenly Pandi has a change of heart and decides to help Didi escape because Alfie loves her so much. How does she know this? Maybe because Alfie was screaming her name while Pandi was raping him? That's a pretty good guess.

12:50 - Police come to the park where Alfie is now congregating with hippies. They run off into the trees. So very random. Is this movie goona wrap up already?

12:52 - For some reason Shake lets Bibi leave the BIM compound. I guess the plot demanded he do so. Pandi stays behind. Pandi then sings a song called "I Found Me" which is a song about how raping someone changes the rapist too, or something like that.

12:54 The landlady tells Bibi that Alfie left to live with the homeless hippies in the park. Bibi sings a verse of "I Found Me" about how you find the person you love after you sleep with the bad people who help your career, or something.

12:56 Some hippie guy that looks like Captain Caveman takes Bibi into a cave deep in the park to find Alfie. He sing this weird hippie song called "Child of Love" Alfie and Bibi reunite and... embrace. But they don't kiss. Have they kissed once in this entire movie?? They are not in love, guys. They hate each other.

12:59 It's some time in the future. Over a year, since Alfie and Bibi now have a kid together who is toddler-sized and Alfie has a full hippie beard. Armored Police Officers advance on the hippies. They are there for Bibi who broke her BIM contract. Bibi has a huge ridiculous butterfly painted on her forehead. Arrest her for that crime, boys!

1:01 The police decide to cart all the hippies away. Bibi worries what will happen to them. Alfie's all "don't worry. he's coming." Bibi's all, "who's coming?" Alfie's like "Mr. Topps" and Bibi and the viewing audience together are like "WHO'S MR. TOPPS???"

1:02 - Then there is a glowing cadillac floating in the sky. It's the cheapest looking effect ever. A man gets out of the car.  While it's still floating in the sky. And he kinda Glinda-bubbles his way down to the surface. This is Mr. Topps. If you think maybe you missed an earlier scene where he was introduced or mentioned, you haven't. This is new for everyone.

1:03 - Mr. Topps is... God? Umm... okay? He tells all the hippies to walk up into the sky. Alfie and Bibi and their kid walk off into the sky. Pandi follows them leaving behind Dandi. Shake looks chagrined. Boogaloo asks Mr. Topps where he's taking them all. Mr. Topps hasn't thought that far in advance. Nice planning there, God. Will they go to another planet? Yeah, maybe. Another PLANET??? Then Mr. Topps walks back into the sky... leaving BIM to rule the rest of the planet? Well, okay. I guess.

1:07 - The end? Yes, that's the end. WHAAAAAT? We hope you liked the costumes and the dances and the songs. Disclaimeer: No sense was made during the making of this film.

I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW.

(Does Boogaloo actually win? Does Shake become Serpentor? YOU DECIDE!)

Good night, everybody!

Kelly & Beyonce: An Inauguration Face Off!

(It's the Sing Off!)

Yesterday's Inauguration was great. Not as freezing cold and not quite as historic as the first time we went through it with Obama, but even if we didn't have Yo Yo Ma and Aretha's Amazing Hat this go round, we did have two other mega-stars - Kelly Clarkson AND Beyonce! Neither singer disappointed, and while they didn't necessarily TRY to one-up each other, it was interesting to see who would have the most memorable Inaugural Moment.

First up to bat was our girl Kelly. She was on hand to sing "My Country Tis Of Thee." She had a tough act to follow, singing right after the President's speech, but she was up to the challenge. She NAILED the song in rousing fashion, bringing compliments from the President and a simple final comment from Inauguration Emcee Chuck Schumer, "Wow." Kelly was set to be the talk of the town!


But THEN, right before the President left the stage, out came Beyonce! She was batting clean up singing that ever-so-tricky tune, The National Anthem. She was having a moment, ripping the monitor out of her mid-song without missing a beat, and finishing in grand fashion. Looking out on to the masses of people below like our very own version of Eva Peron. The First Family swooned over her. Beyonce had taken the day!

Or had she? You see, not long after the Inauguration ended and the Parade through DC began a picture surfaced on the internet once again putting Kelly back in the spotlight. It seems that as she was taking the stage, President Clinton craned his head to make sure he got a glance of K.Cla and nodded is approval. The resulting effect was that Clinton seemingly photo-bombed Kelly's moment. The internet was a'buzz! Kelly was back on top.

But then -THEN! - just as the focus seemed to be off her, Beyonce was back front and center. It seems that her performance was actually a lip-sync! SCANDAL! Or not really. This is not uncommon for live performances, where weather can be a mitigating factor. Yo Yo Ma, who I mentioned early, even played to a tape last Inauguration. It happens. Shouldn't be a big deal. I mean, it IS her voice! But of course everything with Beyonce is a Big Effing Deal. So she was back on top! The fact that Kelly sang live only added fire to some people's indignation over the Beyonce lip-sync. She cannot be topped!

So who fared better? It's not a competition, but IF IT WAS Beyonce wins in terms of pure spotlight, while Kelly ultimately comes off looking better. The part that I find disappointing with the Beyonce lip-sync thing is not the lip-sync itself but the way she took off the monitor from her ear. To me, it felt like a calculated move instead of the spontaneous need to get rid of her ear piece so that she could perform better, we initially assumed it was. It seemed to the viewing audience to be a risky move, thus making her subsequent flawless performance seem that much more amazing. Knowing that the ear piece had no effect on the vocals we were hearing cheapens the drama of it. I believe she knew what she was doing the whole time and it felt to me unnecessarily manipulative. That's what irks me.

Still love my Beyonce. Love my Kelly Clarkson even more. Love my President O and Michelle Obama the BEST!

Where in the World is Rafael Nadal? Hurricane Edition

(Rafa has gone to work for Carmen Sandiego!)

It has been really weird having Rafa be sidelined for so much of the tennis season this year. He had such great success on the clay, but then his knee injury took him out of Wimbledon (well, okay, technically he lost at Wimbledon, but he was already injured) and then missed the Olympics and the US Open, and still won't be back for the Year End Finals in London. I enjoy writing about Our Hero, Rafael Nadal so much and it's weird that there's been no news for him on the court. Hopefully he'll be back in Dubai at the very end of December. That is looking likely. Then it will probably be the Aussie Open and then only clay court tournaments outside of the major tourney's he has to play. I can't wait to have him back on the courts. I miss you, Rafa!

In the meantime, it's not like Rafa has been sitting at home trapped in his house as if he was waiting for a Hurricane to arrive that was sure taking it's damn sweet time to pass through. No, he's been keeping busy. So until he's back on the court, I'm starting a recurring blog feature titled "Where in the World is Rafael Nadal?" to help promote his exploits. The answer this time is: PARIS!

Nadal went to Paris and did some press. Here's a link to his interview with M6 in Spanish with French translation! He is adorable!

He has also tweeted his congrats to Ferrer for beating Dolgopolov in Valencia for his sixth title this season and 17th in his career. Ferrer is doing really well. I would love to see him break through at a major in 2013!

Nadal also wanted everyone to stay safe as Hurricane Sandy inches toward us. Do as Rafa says! Vamos! (except stay put)

SYTYCD 9 - FINALE & RESULTS RECAP!

This is it, y'all. The finale. Who will take the TWO crowns? Will it be Nigel's Favorite Eliana? Never before in danger Tiffany and Cyrus? Peaking at the right time Chehon? I think it's a tight race, even though if Eliana and Cyrus win, it would seem like we just followed conventional wisdom for weeks and weeks. But we'll see!!

We start with a montage of winning moments from the past 8 seasons. Two to add to that list tonight. Here come the Top 20 intros! Alexa and Daniel come out and try to do a move that goes nowhere, as if they couldn't work it out together beforehand, which seems right for them. I can't believe I thought initially they'd be a power couple! Then comes Nick and Amber, a mismatched duo, but likable dancers. Then we have Amelia and Will which seems odd because they lasted longer than other dancers. They jokingly try to upstage each other and Cat laughs at them. Then it's Audrey and Matthew doing a cute little disco combo. Then Janaya and Brandon adorably shimmy their shoulders and fist bump. Dareian and Janelle shake their moneymakers. Lindsay and Cole do almost the exact same move. I hope D&J stole their move in attempt to upstage them! DRAMA! Then it's the only non-pair as Witney and George come out together (their original partners Chehon and Tiffany are still competing, obvs) and do this awesome clap to the beat move that I love. Then we get Eliana dorking out, Chehon shimming down, Tiffany leaping and pretending to animate, and Cyrus actually animating. I always wonder which choreographer bothers to pose the couples for the end of the intro. Somebody has to! SYTYCD unsolved mysteries!

Cat shoos them off-stage to get ready for the first group number and gets to intro'ing the judges. The judges' table now hosts six. Three we've seen regularly - Nigel, Mary and Tyce - and three we haven't really seen too much of since Vegas - Adam, Debbie and Lil'C. Adam did come around to pimp Step Up Revolution, but other than that, they've been pretty hands off with the Top 20. As always, the judges will be naming a routine they want to see again. Cat also gets a pick. And in a twist this season, the four finalists will get to choose one of their own routines to perform again. I like that! There will also be some new group routines tonight, none choreographed by Tyce. Hooray!

Here are a list of routines I would like to be given encores. Obviously, we can't get to them all in 2 hours. But I think this is a good representation of what was most memorable this season. And even if you thought, as a fan, that the once-a-week schedule and 4th of July and Olympic breaks hurt the flow of the season, I think we can agree there were some really strong routines presented. Such as:

Titanic Chase Lounge - Audrey and Matthew
Lovecats - Will and Amelia
Jungle - Dareian and Janelle
Poison Paso - Cole and Lindsay
Foxtrot - George and Tiffany
Dr. Feelgood - Amber and Brandon
Bodyguard - Chehon and Whitney
Chitty Chitty Hip Hop Bang Bang - Eliana and Cyrus
Disco - Tiffany and A.S. Brandon
Shadow Dance - Lindsay and A.S. Jakob
Bang Bang - Eliana and A.S. Alex
Ratchett Dance - Whitney A.S. Twitch
Tango - Chehon and A.S. ANYA!
Power of Love - Tiffany and A.S. Ade
Jive - Tiffany and A.S. Benji
Suitcase - Chehon and A.S. Kathryn
Leave - Chehon and A.S. Allison
Animation - Cyrus and A.S.Twitch

Top 20 Group Routine (choreographed by Christopher Scott AND Sonya Tayeh!)
We are told this will be the most amazing group routine EVER! Set that expectations bar high, folks! Before we get into though lets give the lighting team props for their win at the Tech Emmys last weekend. Somehow SYTYCD didn't win the choreography Emmy, which went this year to Smash, and yes I did just throw up in my mouth a little bit while I was typing that. 

The group performance is all long dresses and wind machines. And lighting! It's very dramatic and freed from having to compete and just perform everybody seems to have a great sense of release and joy on the stage. Good work Top 20. You were an exceptional group this year!

Time for Encores!

NIGEL'S PICK: Matthew and Audrey: Titanic Chase Lounge (Travis Wall) .
Still a beautiful dance. I don't know what happened with Matthew. He had such a good start, and then fizzled. Audrey lasted longer, but couldn't match the popularity of her jazz twin, Tiffany. They totally recaptured the awesomeness of the first time through though. Maybe Matthew will be the alternate on Tour and they'll still get to do this one for the masses.

LIL' C'S PICK: Witney and Twitch: Ratchett Hip-Hop (Luther Brown)
Whitney hits the hairography just as strong this time through. I thought she was awesome. I don't know why they vote almost always went against her. Consistent Bottom 3 presence, but such a strong performer. I want her back as a ballroom All-Star.

DEBBIE'S PICK: Tiffany and George: Contemporary (Sonya Tayeh)
Hmm. Obvs, Debbie would choose a George routine. She's loved him since she declared "this child is FIERCE!" This routine is good, but I liked their foxtrot more. Like Witney, George had to be saved so many times before he was cut, but his partner Tiffany NEVER had that issue. So weird to me!

ADAM'S PICK: Cole and Lindsay: Poison Paso (Jason Gilkison)
This is the first of the encores that I think didn't quite have the adrenaline of the original routine. Cole seems slightly less intense and Lindsay seems a little bit less expressive in her face. It's still very dramatic though.

TYCE'S PICK: Amelia and Will: Lovecats (Tabitha and Napoleon)
I liked this one a lot, and I like that Amelia and Will get to do a light and fun  routine since so many others tonight will be emotionally intense. The leg flip up to shoulder isn't quite as smooth as it was initially, but it's still impressive they can do that.

MARY'S PICK: Chehon and Kathryn: Suitcase Routine (Tyce Diorio)
Mary says it's about the "Hollycaust" (she has had some weird verbal flubs this season. Nommy-Eminated, anyone? Witney/Lindsay confusion?) and it wasn't initially billed that way, but I totally saw it that way so I feel vindicated. Chehon and Kathryn continue to sell it.

So that's it for judges. That means that we get no encore for Nick, Janaya, Alexa, Daniel, Amber, Brandon, Janelle and Dareian. That's too bad. I did really like Amber and Brandon's Dr. Feelgood. But what can you do?

ELIANA'S PICK: Eliana and Alex: Bang Bang (Stacey Tookey)
This was really when Eliana broke away from the pack and it's obvious why it's so special to her. Her connection to Alex here is even stronger this time through, having danced with him in that other routine last week as well. Who is going to dance this with her on tour when Alex is not there? Chehon? Cole? I'm interested to see.

CAT'S PICK: Tiffany and Brandon: Disco (Doriana Sanchez)
I felt strongly it would be either the Disco or the Jive from Ms. Deely. She likes those high energy routines! Here Tiffany seems a little less energized than last time. I think Finale nerves are getting to her as the Final Results edge closer tonight. Brandon almost misses one of the flips when she goes over his head and simply muscles it through so as not to drop her while spinning and spinning. That was almost a disaster. Thank god they saved it.

CHEHON'S PICK: Chehon and Anya: Argentine Tango (Miriam Larici Leonardo Barrionuevo) This was when Chehon really made his presence known as not just a technician but an emotional performer. It's lovely again.Although ANYA!'s hair is down this time instead of tied back in a bun and while she looks radiant, I felt it suited the style of the dance better when it was contained.

GROUP PERFORMANCE: Hip Hip featuring Twitch, Comfort, Cyrus, and Christopher Scott. "Holy Ghost (Helicopter Showdown and Sluggo Remix)" by Messinian. Concept: Card Sharks Poker Battle! Everyone is dressed in sweet casino get-ups. Let's note before the routine that this is basically here because Cyrus is a finalist - who could WIN! - and none of the judge's picked any of his routines for an encore. Now on to the routine. It's SO GOOD. The isolations are amazing there's a lot of character and story and tough choreo! Christopher Scott is kind of adorable as well. He fits in well with the dancers. I'm so glad they did this one!

TIFFANY'S PICK: Tiffany and Ade: Power of Love (Mandy Moore)
No jive! But I get why she loves this routine. It's very emotional and Ade just has her soaring across the stage.She seems to have a bruise on her head afterward, which I wonder if she got during the Disco two routines ago.

All but one of the dances in my pool got selected. I'm S-M-R-T!

Throughout the show, Cat also presented the top 5 moments from the auditions:
#5: LeRoy, the after-school programs advocate who can do flips I only dream of.
#4: Mom with adorable kids. That little girl dancing on stage tossing he head back was TOO MUCH!
#3: The Ninja Twins - they chose dance over sports because they are fabulous.
#2: Exorcist dancer! He made people cry. Not just at city auditions but also in Vegas! 
#1: Dragon House, Cyrus's housemates get to perform live which is cool. He doesn't join them on stage. Brian Gaynor, who is in his way a SYTYCD All-Star too, joins them.The tricks and animation are crazy impressive. This was a treat!

Carly Rae Jepsen shows up onstage and then doesn't perform "Call Me Maybe," or duet with Cookie Monster on "Share It Maybe." which I find unacceptable.  

CYRUS'S PICK: Animation with Twich (Christopher Scott)
It was just last week, so it's pretty much the same. Afterwards Nigel tells Cyrus, "You stole the season," but did he steal the title? Hmm. He implores Cyrus to keep learning other styles and grow into a multi-faceted dancer. I'm all about expanding one's repertoire, but really, I think he keeps pushing forward his specialty because he's so unique and awesome.

ANOTHER GROUP PERFORMANCE! It's A NappyTabs Lion King Hip Hop Routine! The Season 9 Top 10 teams up with All-Stars Comfort, Twitch, Alex, Ade, Allison, Melanie, Kathryn, Marko, Brandon, and ANYA! I think this one is even better than the first group number. I love combining All-Stars and Contestants. Really great energy and movement. It ends with the final four ready to find out who's gonna be named King (and Queen!).

Results? Are you ready? Deep breaths. The girls go first, and their season-recap video for both girls leaves them crying already. Hold it together! You're almost there! Cat rips open the envelope and declares ELIANA the winner! She drops to her knees in shock, and seems genuinely incredulous at the news.  Her parents cheer in the audience! Tiffany hugs her and leaves the stage. You're great too Tiffany! Cat has Eliana go off and absorb the news of her win while she deals with the guys.

The guys relive their journey through the video package. Cyrus is in tears already. Chehon can't look anywhere but the floor. Cat tells us America's Favorite Guy is CHEHON! His eyes dart up in shock and you see a hundred emotional responses wash over him in a second and it's really beautiful. Cyrus and Chehon hug. Two Ballerinos won!

The judges are all on their feet with wide-eyed faces. But how many of them didn't already know the results, I wonder. Eliana still in shock is pushed back to the center of the stage. The confetti cannons go off scaring Cat a little which is delightful. Alex Wong hurls himself into Chehon's arms as the All-Stars storm the stage from the wings and the contestants run up from their waiting pen underneath the judge's table platform. They engulf the winners in hugs, screaming and celebrating. The console and celebrate the runners up. Will embraces Cat and lifts her high in the air. It's a jubilant moment. And with that the season's done.

What a fantastic ending! This season had it's hardships with scheduling and the cancellation of the results show, but it's hardly creatively spent. It hasn't been renewed for next summer yet, but it ought to be. There's nothing else like it on television and it really is a special little show. Hopefully Cat can win that Emmy for hosting she so richly deserves this weekend. Do right by your Dance Fans, Fox. Renew our show!

Thanks for reading the Recaps! Hopefully we can do it all again here next year!

SYTYCD 9 - Performance Finale Recap!

Welcome Back, Dance Fans! I know these last two recaps are coming in late, but I was away on vacation this week in lovely Barcelona, so now I have to finish up the season a bit behind schedule. Forgive me!

2 Ballerinos, I Jazz Hands and 1 Tokyo Popper remain. They all want to win, but 50% of them will lose. Last week didn't really count apparently, so it all comes down to tonight! Get ready to watch and vote!

We don't get a pre-taped group number this week. We don't get gulls and guys either as there are only 4 left. Cat introduces the jidges including guest judge Ron Marshall. With no results this week to take up the last half hour of show, each dancer will be dancing roughly 1 million routines tonight. Seriously, they have 5 dances each - one with an all-star, one with each remaining finalist plus a solo for good measure.Get ready to try and keep track of it all. Again we'll just assume the solos are beautiful and amazing unless something disastrous happens.

1) Cyrus and Eliana: Paso Doble with Jason Gilkison. "The Game Has Changed" by Daft Punk. Concept: The guy is the cape and the girl is the bull! To the cynics out there (including me) this has been done because Cyrus isn't strong enough to be the bull, so Eliana has been given the tougher part. How often has Eliana been asked to do this over the season? I've actually grown to like Cyrus again since All-Stars were introduced, but c'mon, Show. If Cyrus can't do the guy part, then let us see that he can't do the guy part! It's not a terrible routine but there still manage to be a couple bum moves including an awkward cartwheel by Cyrus. I'm glad this one is done. Nigel takes the judging time to ask fascinating questions lik e"Did you ever think you would make it this far?" and wearing a "big black dress?" Mary at least mentions but then glosses over the cartwheel and some weak leaps  to shower Cyrus with affection. She also praises Eliana. Rob loves Eliana and acknowledges Cyrus was on stage. Ugh, why can't they just admit when he doesn't meet the occasion?

2) Tiffany and ALL-STAR: Will Wingfield (Season 4)! Dancing Jazz with Sonya Tayeh. "Time is Now" by Moloko. Will is rocking long dreads. I feel like I last saw him a couple years ago on Broadway in In The Heights. I think the routine is just okay. Tiffany is rocking it, and Will is good too, but there are some lifts that don't really work. I don't feel that the connection between them is really there. Mary thinks she did great, Rob Marshall reflects on 9/11 (?!!) Nigel apologizes for possibly underselling Tiffany in the past as just the "girl next door." It's not like Nigel would be accused of overselling Tiffany as anything. How she managed to get through the competition without falling into the bottom when she was given almost no airtime before Top 20, is a testament to her natural talent and personality. And maybe some people along the way got her confused with Audrey? But no, they would've just as likely confused Audrey for Tiffany so it would've evened out.

3) Chehon and Eliana: Ballet with Marat Dokyev. "The Nutcracker Suite -Pas De Deux" performed by Bruton Apm Studios. Concept: The Nutcracker! It's very traditional, looks very difficult and has Chehon in white tights so his leg muscles look sculpted out of stone.This is what two trained ballerinos doing their thing will get you. A really striking example of technique is on display. They get a standing ovation, there's some strange business between Cat and Eliana about a handle hanging out from Eliana's tutu that is never really explained. Mary is thrilled we get ballet in the season finale, and are pretty much spoiled to have two ballerinos in the final four.  Rob gives props to Chehon since it looks to the viewer like maybe Eliana is doing all the tough stuff cause she gets the flashier moves than the guy. Nigel is amazed how Eliana makes it look so easy and praises Chehon's lifts.

4) Tiffany and Cyrus: Lyrical Hip-Hop with Tessandra Chavez. "Best Thing I Never Had." by Beyonce. Concept: break-up routine. Have we seen Tessandra Chavez before? I like her stuff. The routine is actually really sharp and fun and on point emotionally. Tiffany and Cyrus partner very well here. Afterwards, Nigel congratulates both of them on avoiding the bottom all season. As I mentioned before, that's what makes this final face-off so interesting. It's the two consistently safe dancers against two that have tremendous skill but uneven support. Eliana and Chehon have really come on strong since Top 10 though. It's hard to determine who has the showmentum.

5) Group Routine. Tyce Diorio. "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" (District 78 remix) by KPM Studio Artists. It's terrible. Really unfocused and silly. A waste of our time and their talents. Worst routine of the season. At least the dancers seem content to do it and don't seem embarrassed, so that's something.

In the clip package before her solo Eliana says she felt she was in Cyrus's shadow for several weeks, and that she really got her chance to shine with Alex in the Top 10 "Bang Bang" routine.I like her honesty and her goofiness and her amazing dance skillz. She should win.

6) Chehon and ALL-STAR! Allison Holker: Contemporary (Stacey Tookey) "Leave" Oringinal Broadway Cast Recording of Once.  Concept: Chehon wants Allison to leave him and go pursue her dreams. Stacey has a total dance crush on Chehon. This is not the first time she's swooned over him in the rehearsal footage. Chehon and Allison are fantastic together. At one point he does this extended hold with one arm just lifting her into the heavens (for the record he initially supported her with both arms to get her up there, but it's still an impressive feat of strength. Mary is so flustered she gets her words mixed up saying Stacey Tookey is "Nommy-Eminated" which I love. She notes that Chehon's level of difficulty is off the charts (unlike Cyrus, let's be serious) and his emotional presence has come so far. Nigel and Rob love it and discuss how Allison needs to be an actress. Seriously. Get to casting her in something, ROB!

7 Eliana and Tiffany: Broadway with Ray Leeper.  "When You're Good to Mama" 1996 cast album of Chicago. Concept: It's a pole dance. Eliana's not-so-secret specialty. So of course Eliana is better than Tiffany in this one, but Tiffany gives it a real fighter's chance. Still by the end Eliana has climbed up the pole, wrapped her legs around the top and does this amazing spin, cementing herself as America's Favorite Girl. Is there really still a debate? Nigel is in 7th Heaven that he gets to watch a pole dance with these two. Rob lovingly cracks that he can't imagine Queen Latifah doing that, but as I recall she was pretty damn sexy with what she did in the movie. Mary appreciated the fun and sass.Nigel says it reminded him of a time out with Randy Jackson that he can't discuss on TV. Of course it does.

Cyrus's pre-solo recap tells us he auditioned just to showcase animation style, and look where it got him? He is a good dude. I wish the show didn't put me so often at odds with him. His solo is amazing as always.

Tiffany's recap is my favorite, because she tells us all the stuff we never saw because they never featured her! She had to go to choreography at her first audition, wasn't given judge feedback for most of Vegas, and thought she wouldn't make it because Audrey looked just like her and got in first. THEN they danced the first routine together and no one could tell them apart! And she STILL never fell into the bottom 3 for public voting! People, Tiffany has seriously defied the odds.

8) Cyrus and Chehon: Contemporary with Sonya Tayeh. "Fangs" (District 78 remix) by Little Red Lung. Concept: boys touching and jumping. I really like these two dancing together, actually. Obviously Chehon's technique is miles above Cyrus's but the partnership here is good. It's not your usual guy routine where the dude's are just buddies or adversaries. Nigel tells them that Cyrus is of course his favorite personality but Chehon is his favorite dancer (out of the guys, I'm guessing, because you KNOW Eliana has always been his real pride and joy.) Mary is proud of both guys and their journeys, Rob thought they supported each other well. What is America going to decide?? I'm so curious about this race.

Now we get a guest performance by international b-boy sensation Jean Sok. He is missing a leg and does tricks on his crutches. He's amazing. He just flies around the stage with such ease and artistry. I love it! The audience is rightfully impressed.

Chehon's recap package shows us his journey out of just being an amazing technician into a more expressive artist. He and Stacey Tookey have a BOND. Chehon's mom, showed up in the studio and everything changed for him. He's definitely become my favorite over the past several weeks.

9) Eliana and ALL-STAR! Alex Wong: Contemporary with Travis Wall.  "Without You" by Harry Nilsson. Eliana is with Alex again and this time has Travis as well, because it is taking no chances that she might lose. I mean, Tiffany defies odds, but Eliana has been given ballet, pole dancing and Travis and Alex this week. They are great. Better as a couple than when they did Bang Bang, I think. They get a standing o again. " Nigel loves the routine and the song and then calls Eliana is his favorite dancer EVER on the show! I still think Melanie is the GOAT, but these things are open for debate. Mary takes a moment to talk about Alex, and how more than anybody else people ask her about him and hope he's doing well. And he IS, which is amazing after two successive years of what could've been career ending injury. Now he's back on the show, he's on Broadway, he's singing and making music. Talent and perseverance that boy's got!

10) Chehon and Tiffany: Rumba with Dmitry Chaplin. "Love Me Tender" by Adam Levy and Norah Jones. Oh no! Chehon's ending on Latin! This could be his undoing. But wait! He and Tiffany are super hot! Oh, that's a relief! Latin is not naturally his thing, but he's doing really well here. And Tiffany is take-no-prisoners on fire! Mary sends love to Dmitry in the audience. Remember that year they danced together in the finale and it was amazing? I do. I'm sure Mary does too! She didn't quite buy the chemistry between them, but she still thought it was strong and treats us to a little demonstration of what a "cucaracha" move entails. Rob loved how un-showy the routine was. He bought the chemistry. Nigel sets up Mary with a joke about Chehon's shirt being open, and Mary jumps on it with a "Well, it was Dmitry," since that was pretty much his signature bit in Season 2, and this prompts Dmitry to pull his own shirt open in the audience and Travis who's sitting next to him to collapses into hysterics. I forgot those two were both in Season 2 together! Old friends!

11) Cyrus and Twitch: Animation with Christopher Scott. "Like a Criminal" by District 78
Concept: genetically altered robots come to life! Twitch is much bigger than Cyrus. He has several inches on him in height and maybe 20 lbs of muscle? Twitch has bulked up since his own season. Dude is solid. The routine is great. Ironically, since Twitch is not by trade an animator, I think that it's Cyrus who has to hold back a bit on his technique so that the two match up. Who would've thought that would happen this season? They really have great control and precision here. Very impressive.Another standing O. In judging, Nigel apologizes to Cyrus because despite championing him all season, he's not going to vote for him tonight, because between him and Chehon, Chehon is actually the better dancer. What? What are you playing at Nigel? Is this reverse psychology? Double reverse? Triple? I don't know which boy you really want to win this thing.

Here's a recap of the routines in order of my preference:

Chehon and Allison Contemporary
Eliana and Alex Contemporary
Cyrus and Twitch Animation
Chehon and Eliana Ballet
Chehon and Twitch Jazz
Eliana and Tiffany Broadway
Cyrus and Tiffany Hip Hop
Chehon and Tiffany Rumba
Tiffany and Will Jazz
Eliana and Cyrus Paso Doble

It's all up to you now, America! See you next time for the double coronation!

SYTYCD 9: Top 6 to Top 4 Recap!

Welcome Back, Dance Fans! ALL-STARS! Your Super Sexy Top Six! 2 ballerinos, 1 Baller. 1 Jazz Hands, 1 Tokyo Popper, and 1 Kung Fu Hustler.remain. ZERO Contempos. Still getting used to that. Who will make the finale?? We are ready to find out!

The pre-taped group number is pretty cool. We've got some Phantom-esque half masks going on. It's always fun to play "Guess The Choreographer" but this one feels distinctly Sonya Tayeh to me. They dance to "Scream" by Kelis, and the group is really working well together. Lots of great character, some fun changes in tempo and style mixed in. Hopefully a good sign of things to come!

Cat's dress tonight is insane. It's like orange patchwork which shouldn't work but then somehow becomes increasingly awesome the longer you stare at it, and stare at it you will! Cat tells us the finale performance episode will be on Tuesday next week instead of Wednesday. And then the following week is the actual finale. So there's no voting tonight and this week is just kind of a freebie? Cat's not making it totally clear. She asks us to set our DVR's which is troublesome if the show wants us to vote live.

This week the dancers are each doing three dances: one with an all-star, one solo, and one with another contestant. This week's results are entirely vote-dependent and will be from here on out. No more saving from the judges!  Christina Applegate is back as guest judge, and I like her style so we're cool. P.S. I'm not recapping the solos. You can rest assured that they all kicked, leaped, spun, shook and popped at their accustomed levels of excellence.

1) Tiffany and ALL-STAR: Benji Schwimmer, WINNER Season 2! dancing a Jean-Marc Genereaux jive to "What I Like about You" by Lillix. It's so nice to see Benji back on the show as a performer. Dude has been through a lot since his win 6 years ago. Haven't we all? If you're ever home sick from work and are stuck on the couch for several hours you should listen to his Mormon Talk interviews on Youtube, in which he talks about his experience on the show, Mormonism, coming out and life in general. It's really an interesting interview that goes on FOREVER.  Anyway, Benji is back with newly giant arms and a shirt I hate with checkered flag weirdness down the front. Much like with her success in the disco two weeks ago, Tiffany's seemingly unlimited energy supply is a tremendous benefit in this routine. They both come out guns blazing and feet flicking all over the place. They look like they're having the best time. They do an impressive triple-cartwheel move that I was nervous about mostly because Tiffany is TINY. Those things work better with same size partners. She did it though! Benji's a total pro in this genre but Tiffany more than holds her own. They get a standing o from the judges for their efforts. Well-deserved! Nigel congratulates Tiffany for holding her own with Benji, the show's best ever swing dancer. Mary loves Tiffany's jive kicks. Christina confesses she and Benji have taken dance class together in LA. She thinks Tiffany did an amazing job in the routine.Seriously, we can't vote for her this week?

2) Cole and ALL-STAR: Melanie Moore! Dancing a Sonya Tayeh jazz routine to "Too Close" by Alex Clare. Concept: Cole wants to be set free but Melanie isn't ready to let him go. Their is a bit of gender role reversal in this piece as Melanie seems to be lifting Cole more than he is lifting her. Melanie is a BEAST. I thought this was a very solid routine, that suffered a bit just from having followed a very WOW routine. Christina loved the androgyny of the routine and then says something that gets her censored. It had to do with foot position in the pirouette and her not caring about it. Nigel liked gender role reversal in the piece. He also says how says he's been so happy to have him here on the show. Nigelspeak for GOODBYE! Oh no!!

3) Eliana and ALL-STAR: Twitch! Dancing a Christopher Scott hip-hop routine to "Please Mr. Postman (District 78 Remix)" by The Marvelettes. Concept: Eliana has a crush on the mailman and is sending him a letter. Okay... I don't like this routine. It's kinda flimsy. Eliana is mugging way too much. Twitch is trying to sell it strictly on charm. There's a good 10-12 seconds where Eliana is just sitting on top of a mailbox. That's a lot considering the dance might be a 80 seconds long tops. I think this is Eliana's worst routine of the whole season, and if you recall, I wasn't a big fan of some of her early routines with Cyrus. Christina gingerly offers that Eliana won't be cast in a Jay-Z video anytime soon, but it still was fun. Nigel once again states Eliana is his favorite girl but didn't think there was enough dancing on display here. Mary says that she found it really... entertaining. She hated it. Maybe it IS a good thing we can't vote this week!

4) Chehon and ALL-STAR: Kathryn! Dancing a Tyce Diorio contemporary number to "Eli, Eli (A Walk to Caesarea) by Sophie Milma. Concept: A suitcase symbolizes tragic loss and how people move on and dance around it. It's a really pretty dance. It's also very sad. It has a bit of a holocaust vibe to it, but it might just be Kathryn's dress that makes me feel that way. The crowd gives them a standing o as well. Nigel thought is was beautiful and emotional and thanks Fox for supporting the show. Nigelspeak for "See you in Season 10"? I hope so. Mary is crying and feels she witnessed a magical moment in their dance careers. Mary really loves dance, y'all. I say that seriously. You can tell she really loves it. She's not just collecting a paycheck on a panel. Christina thought it was beautiful and notes that Tyce's contemporary choreo is much stronger than his Broadway. INDEED. This was a very good effort from Chehon. He's come a long way this season as a performer.

5) Witney and ALL-STAR Marko Germar from Season 8! Dancing a Ray Leeper lyrical jazz routine to "No Nothing" by Curtis Y Reinhold feat. Blaire. Concept: Witney wants to leave Marko at the Altar. Witney is very graceful and Marko is a great partner. They balance each other very well and have amazing movement. I don't really love the routine though. It's tough, man. With everyone in such good form now and with All-Stars bringing it, it really depends on the depth of the choreo as to who is really gonna impress. I don't know if this one really had the stuff. Mary thought they were lovely together but her praise kinda hangs there. She didn't like seeing Marko left at the end. Christina thought Witney's technique was beautiful and notes her natural hairography talents. Nigel reminds Witney that the judges have saved her several times now because they believe she is a star. Nigelspeak says "Goodbye, Witney! We can't deny the public vote no longer!"

6) Cyrus and ALL-STAR Comfort from Season 4! Dancing a Christopher Scott dubstep routine to "Cinema (Skrillex Remix)" by Benny Benassi feat. Gary Go. Concept: Comfort is in a movie Cyrus is watching and then they are together and then they switch places. The choreo is tight and Cyrus really excels here. Comfort is great too. I wasn't a super fan of hers back in Season 4 but she is a great partner as an All-Star. Their routine ALSO gets a standing O from the judges. Christina loves it. Nigel also loves it and notes for the naysayers that they haven't even been saving Cyrus. He's never been in the bottom! Mary agrees and mentions that there's some Twitter kerfuffle over how Cyrus is still around. He's very likable! There were definitely weeks that he had one of the three weakest routines, and that's why Eliana found herself in the bottom 3, but his character lifted him when his technique didn't. He's really incredible at what he does. No one else in the competition can do what he does.

Now we'ver entered the old school portion of tonight's episode where contestants actually dance with each other! Witney and Chehon are doing a cha-cha by Jean-Marc Genereaux. Concept: Sexy Chemistry! They dance to "Where Have You Been" by Rihanna. It's bad. There's a lift that goes wrong right at the beginning and Chehon almost drops her. It's ROUGH. They bounce back and Witney is hot like always, but Chehon doesn't have the form and it's just off. Mary says it was better than his samba a few weeks back. FAINT PRAISE! Latin dancing is not a strength for Cheon and his response is basically a plaintive wail that he knows. Then Mary calls Witney "Lindsay"AGAIN and unlike last time a couple weeks ago, Cat and Chehon won't let it slide, and it flusters her. Lindsay and Witney are basically Mary's blonde ballroom twin daughters so you can see why their names are pretty interchangeable in her mind. Christina claims they were so sexy in the opening move she just doesn't remember anything after that. Nigel thinks Witney was hampered by the partnering since the style and technique were not there for Chehon. Man, he'd been on such a role! Hopefully people will forget this clunker of a routine by next week.

Cole and Eliana are dancing a Mia Michaels routine inspired by rams fighting. The song is "Adagio for Strings" by the BRNO Philharmonic Orchestra, There's a starting move where they literally ram into each other on all fours and look like they could maybe break both their necks. They survive and dance a beautiful dance. There are some impressive tricks between them. Lots of trust involved here. It ends with a silent scream for both. Guys, don't be frustrated! You did great! Nigel explains Mia was really inspired to by their own combative relationship and not rams. Mary loved the power and strength they brought throughout the routine. Christina, of course, is a HUGE Mia fan choreography and thought they shined.

Tiffany and Cyrus have the last dance of the night. They're dancing a Spencer Liff Broadway routine to "Treat Me Rough (Girl Crazy)" by Debbie Gravitte. Yay no Tyce! The concept: horny 50's teenagers alone at home for the evening. Cyrus can't get his jacket off at the beginning and it's stuck on his arm. We miss a butt grab of Tiffany that we saw a lot about in the rehearsal footage as a result. D'oh! The routine is fun. Spencer is great at infusing character in his choreo in a very fun way. It's not a total power house performance, but it's solid. Tiffany and Cyrus definitely came out on top this week. But again, no votes! The judges all loved it, for sure.

We have time for a guest performance, before the results so we get a routine from the AXIS Dance Company. I like this company a lot. It combines dancers with and without physical disabilities. They've been on the show before. the choreography is cool and the dancers very captivating to watch.
  
But they can't stall forever it's time to make some cuts! We get a recap of last week when all the girls brought it hard. Tiffany makes it into the finale first, followed by Eliana. That means Witney is done. That feels about right. I love Witney, but Tiffany has been coming on so strong and Eliana's technique is insane. Witney is amazing though. I hope she comes back as a ballroom all-star.

Now to the boys. Cat says Chehon is in and he almost collapses from shock. And the second one in is Cyrus. I mean, obviously. He wasn't gonna suddenly fall to the bottom for no reason.

Routines in Order of my Preference:

Tiffany and Benji's Jive
Cyrus and Comfort's Dubstep
Cole and Eliana's Contemporary
Chehon and Kathryn's Contemporary
Cole and Melanie's Jazz
Cyrus and Tiffany's Broadway
Witney and Marko's Jazz
Chehon and Witney's Cha Cha
Eliana and Twitch's Hip Hop

Next week the Final Four face off with JUST performances! And then the following week is the Finale/Results where we name America's Favorite Guy or Gull Dancer! See you there!