A Year Without Cookies - Week 23

(What Dreams May Come...)

Another solid week of no cookies and soda. Although with last week's heatwave came the most epic dream about drinking soda ever. I guess it was really hot in my room and I was really thirsty during REM sleep. I mean it's the same pattern as all of them, but it was on this epic scale involving a class reunion with people I never went to school with, a fight with my Dad over his dismissive comments about me using mexicorn in a recipe (I actually sang my frustrations at him) and a trip to a very strange church service with my friend Suki. Somewhere along the way I was drinking soda out of this giant goblet (I believe it was at reunion) and again when I realized what I was drinking I got really upset with myself. Then when I woke up in the morning, I felt like I had still done it. It took me a much longer time than usual to realize that since the circumstances surrounding this transgression never happened, the actual transgression never happened either.

I talked to a friend of mine later in the week about it and he said that as a former smoker he has those kinds of dreams about every six months, where he's having a cigarette, has the in-dream realization he shouldn't and then the post-dream confusion where it takes his brain a while after he wakes up to register there was no actual relapse. Oh, the guilt involved! Why must my brain keep doing it? It's just soda. It's not nicotine! Staying away from cookies is a tough task during the day with constant temptations, but soda's nothing like that. It's my subconscious mind that is the total soda addict. It wants what it wants, i guess, and what it wants is sweet sweet cola. It's just crazy to me that these dreams went away for awhile and now they are back in full force. What's to become of me? Edging closer to the 6 month mark. Oh, what a celebration that will be!