(He's obviously not telling, but I am!)
It's time for the SAG awards! No host. A couple people tell us how they became actors. Some bits work better than others. No time to waste. Let's do this:
Best Actor in a Supporting Role... In Film? They don't specify. But there are no TV actors nominated. We'll see if they get their own category.
~Note: Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper introduce what I assume will be Silver Lining's Playbook, but then they start talking about it and it doesn't sound like the plot to SLP at all, and I'm like "wait, are the introducing someone else's movie? Are they switching it up this year?" But no it turns out to be SLP after all. That was weird.
Female Actor in a Supporting Role... In Film? It's probably a race between Sally Field and Anne Hathaway. And if goes to Hathaway. This basically makes her a lock for the Oscar in this category. The SAG membership was Sally's best voting bloc with which to gain back some momentum. I've muted Hathaway's speech midway through so I could write this and she's still going on and on. She thanked a million people at the Globes. Who's left? Just say thanks and leave the stage. Fantine died quicker in Les Mis than it takes for Hathaway to accept an award for the performance!
Kerry Washington didn't attend rehearsal, I guess, she she biffs her lines in the teleprompter and forgets to announce the nominees. At least they're doing the TV comedy awards so people can laugh.
Male Actor in a Comedy Series - So all the boys just get one category for TV. I hope it's Alec Baldwin. The finale season of 30 Rock has been hilarious. And BALDWIN WINS! YES! Tina Fey has tears in her eyes. Baldwin has kind of an odd haircut right now. Acceptance Speech - short and sweet. He knows how it goes.
~The male leads from Argo come out to introduce Argo and the description sounds like Argo, so we're now heading in the right direction.
Female Actor in a Comedy Series - I want it to be Tina or Amy. I don't want it to be Betty because she didn't show up and has one million awards already. TINA FEY WINS!!! YES!!!! She looks overwhelmed. She is, to no one's surprise, hilarious. She shares the Award with Amy Poehler, who she's known since Amy was pregnant with Lena Dunham. Nice. She begs people to watch the 30 Finale this week and tape Big Bang Theory just this once! I love her.
Outstanding Ensemble in Comedy. GLEE was nominated? Over HIMYM? Uh, okay. I think it's a 3-way horse race between 30 Rock - Big Bang and Modern Family. 30 Rock swan song? No... Modern Family steals their thunder. Well, what can you do? They are a great ensemble. And JTF gives a special shout out to the casts of 30 Rock and Office which is classy. Of all those actors in the cast, he was a good choice for giving the acceptance speech.
Female Actor, Miniseries/Movie - Could it be anyone but Julianne Moore? She's won every other award for playing Sarah Palin. Non-shocker. She wins! Love Julianne Moore. That's quite a low cut dress, Julianne She lists everyone that was in the cast by name. Possibly even the extras.
Male Actor, Miniseries/Movie - No nominees for Dog President?? What are you thinking SAG voters? Kevin Costner wins, but he's not there so we're moving on. Jamie Francisco would've shown up.
SAG-AFTRA merged and it's worth a montage.
~ Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman introduce Les Mis. I'm fixing dinner for myself while they talk, but I'll assume they got through it okay. So different now from what it SEEEEMED! Hearing it is making me cry again from two rooms away. Stop it, Hathaway!
Alec Baldwin narrates lifetime achievement for Dick Van Dyke. I like all the standard awesome icon roles Dick Van Dyke performed, but I have strange affinity for Diagnosis Murder. I don't know why. DVD gets up on stage to a well deserved standing O. He looks like he's in pretty good shape! All his oldest co-stars can't be there tonight because they all have the flu. Well, at least it's not because their dead. Hey, it could be!
Amy and NPH are being all dramatic and lovely as presenters. Make Actor in a Drama Series - I love Bryan Crantson, so we'll see. It will probs be Damian Lewis for Homeland. Oh, Jon Hamm needs to win too. So tough. CRANSTON WINS! It's his first SAG Award! Yay!
~ Dev Patel introduces Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. I can't believe he's still with Freida Pinto! Slumdog seems like a million years ago.
Best Female Actor - Drama Series. Claire Danes. Her speech is a little scattered but we learn that Morena runs lines with her every night and makes her dinner and that's kind of awesome.
In Memoriam! Larry Hagman! Whitney Houston! Jack Klugman! Conrad Bain! Celeste Holm! Sherman Helmsley! Michael Clark Duncan! Charles Durning! Davy Jones! Phyllis Diller! Dick Clark! Andy Griffith! So much death this year.
I love that this show is only two hours long. We're already at Ensemble in a TV Drama. I'm assuming it will be Breaking Bad, because it has a stronger ensemble than Homeland. Of course, there are 15,000 actors in Downton Abbey so if they all vote for their own show they could win. OMFG. Downton wins!! Only 5 cast members flew over from England. Mrs. Hughes is accepting on behalf of the cast! She gives a very excited yet British speech. It's hilarious.
~ Sally Field and DDL do a bit where they switch their identical eye glass frames to read the intro to Lincoln. They are very cute together even out of costume.
Female Actor in a Lead Role for Film - Jessica Chastain is the front runner. But JLaw takes it! Oooh. Golden Globe AND a SAG award. Someone's an Oscar front runner now! Her speech is very sweet. She got her SAG card for a MTV promo for my Super Sweet 16. Awesome.
Male Actor in a Lead Role for Film - Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln. Who else did you think would win? This one is a lock. It really is a strong category this year. DDL is a lovely weirdo of a guy. He could ramble on forever and I'd be pleased, but he doesn't. He's too classy.
Cast in a Motion Picture - Who will it be? SLP - Lincoln - Argo? And it's ARGO! Oooh. Argo's picked up all the major awards ever since the Oscars snubbed Affleck for director. He looks positively shocked to have won. It's not that far a stretch of the imagination, Ben! Everyone looks so excited. Is it because they got a nice dinner and the show's already over after only two hours. That's what I'm so happy about. Congrats to all the winners!
Now everyone go out and find an actor and hug tell them how much you support their journey! Yay actors!