Monday, January 16, 2012

Tommy and the Pats

 (I miss your long hair, Tommy, but you're still my guy. Thank you for ridding me of Tebow.)
 
I was filled with joy this Saturday Night when my boy Tommy and his team of Patriots took down Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos in such an authoritative way. I haven't been a fan of Tebow. Some people find him inspiring. I'm not counted among their ranks. I don't begrudge people their faith, and I understand the concept of praying for strength and focus and no one getting hurt before a sports competition. And also hoping for a little luck. But it annoys me as much when people think God cares about them winning in the NFL as it does when people think God really cares about them winning reality game shows. Sure, there's genocide and famine around the world but I'm sure God's true priority is you holding the Vince Lombardi trophy so you can then tell more women they shouldn't have access to family planning. Ugh. I can't take it! I'd like a lot less Focus on the Family, and a lot more Focus on My Gameplay with my pro-football viewing. Thanks.
 
In the lead up to the game between the Pats and the Broncos, almost all the attention was on Tebow and not on my Tommy. I'm not saying Tebow can't become a great quarterback, but let's not compare them as if they are on the same level. They are not. Yet. So after a total pummeling with the Broncos losing 45-10, all the crazy Tebowing, the new version of St. Elmo's Fire and all that other stuff can finally be retired for the rest of the post-season. Thank goodness. Smell ya later, Tebow. My team still has some football to play. And the fact that a Giants-Pats Super Bowl rematch is still a possibilty is very exciting to me. Although, I'm sorry  you lost, Packers Fans. I know what it is to have an almost perfect season ended by the Giants... it's tough. You'll get though this. I promise.
 
In the meantime, I figured if Tebow could have lyrics of an oldie re-written for him. I could rewrite some lyrics for my guys as well. I think Sir Elton John would approve. 
 
Tommy and The Pats
 
Hey kids, 
shake it loose together
The spotlight's hitting something
That's been known to change the weather
We'll kill the fatted calf tonight
So stick around
 
You're gonna hear em shouting "Tommy!"
Solid walls of sound
 
Say, Tebow and Foxie, cannot beat them yet!
Oh! Cause they're so spaced out!
T-T-T-Tommy and the Pats
Denver is gone and it's wonderful!
Oh Tommy, he's really keen
Wes Welker's coming through, Gronkowski too!
Scoring 6 touchdowns in a play-off gaaaame! 
T-T-T-Tommy and the Pats.
 
Tommy! Tommy! And the Paaaaaats!
 
Say, Tebow and Foxie, have you seen them yet?
No! cause they both crashed out!
T-T-T-Tommy and the Pats
Broncos are through and it's wonderful!
Oh Tommy, he's really keen
Wes Welker's coming through, Gronkowski too!
Scoring 6 touchdowns in a post-season gaaaame! 
T-T-T-Tommy and the Pats!
 
Tommy! Tommy! And the Paaaaaats! 
Tommy and the Paaaaats!
 

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