Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Tree Grows In Astoria

So after a lovely weekend away, I come home to find this sitting at my doorstep.

(If a tree is left outside my apartment and no one is there to claim it, do I make a sound?)

WTF. A tree? There's a tree outside my door. A tree in a pot. Who put this here? Is this like a baby-on-a-doorstep scenario? Am I supposed to take care of it now? Should I water it? No one bothered to leave a note. I actually went up to the next floor to see if the management had added trees throughout the building in order to (literally) spruce up the place, but it's just mine that's got it. My GF told me to move it downstairs or at least further away from my door, but I feel like if I touch it at all that somehow transfers ownership to me. Right now it's sorta in my space, but not completely my responsibility.

I assume the tree has been abandoned. Why do my neighbors on this floor leave random stuff they don't want right in the hallway? There is currently a broken computer bag sitting on the floor right in front of the garbage chute. Why didn't the former owner just cram it into the chute, or (just as easily, perhaps MORE easily) carry it with them down one flight of stairs and put it in the garbage can? No one wants a broken computer bag! And there's no maid service here! Stop dumping stuff at my doorstep.

I don't particularly mind the tree, but I didn't ask for this! I don't want to take care of a tree. I also don't want to watch it die at my doorstep. C'mon, deadbeat neighbors! Whoever owns it needs to step up and raise this thing right! It doesn't take a village to raise a tree. It takes whoever actually bought it while drunkenly wishing for an incredible tree worth keeping.

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