Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Project Runway Episode 12: Send In The Clowns? Anthony's Already Here!

Greetings All! Una is off on a well-deserved vacation, so while she gets drunk on a beach in DR, I'm here to bring you the Project Runway snark this week. I'm not sure if any if her loyal readers will actually take her advice and read my recap since it won't be uploaded to HuffPo. I have that anxious feeling you get when you're preparing your apartment for a party and wondering if anyone will actually show up. Will anyone come? I made so much Wisconsin Salsa! I can't eat it all myself!! :(

But it's time to put nerves aside, and get to the recap. And don't worry - if you find my recap safe and boring, generally question my taste level or find my writing style too referential, your girl Sassy will be back in her usual haunts with fresh snark just in time for the finals in Bryant Park next week.

Previouslies! Anthony had been out. Cerri had been out. Then Maya quit. Anthony was back in! Then Valeria quit. Cerri was back in! Then Jonathan was out. Then Cerri was out (again). 5 Designers remain! Being in the Final 3 (or 4?), the metaphoric finish line and Fashion Week at Bryant Park are all in sight. Time to see who wants it BAD ENOUGH!

No full intro. It's just morning at Atlas. Anthony is the first person we see, so he is going home. I think the show could just flash the words "SPOILER ALERT" during the show at this point to let you know how it's gonna shake down. Sorry, where was I? Anthony is happy for his win and is going to pump up the volume hopefully Christian Slater-style in his next outfit. Mila is alone in the girl's room getting ready! That's kinda weird. She summons the ghosts of the fallen female contestants to head out to Parsons with her.

Heidi meets them on the runway tremendously pregnant and astonishingly beautiful wearing a pink dress. She tells the designers their next challenge has something to do with tents. All I can think of is camping. Are they going to a sporting goods store? No, they get to go to the effing circus! Wow. They are at Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Circus. Tim walks down a runway made out of gymnastics mats to greet them. He explains they have to create a high-end runway look based on something from the circus! Oh, Una. You had to recap TWO Heidi-centric episodes this season, and I get the circus challenge? It hardly seems fair. Performers from the Ringling Bros. Circus comes out to the rings and start showing off their tricks full blast. Everyone is appropriately impressed. Somehow none of these people expresses a fear of clowns. Damn.

Once the circus performers are rounded up and herded back into their cages, Tim reminds all the designers that they are creating fashion inspired by the circus, not a circus costume, and they should consider that as their 30 minutes to sketch starts... now! They all immediately sketch the most costume-y outfits you can think of. There's a ringleader! A trapeze artist! A clown! Oh dear. I sense some delicious catastrophes on the runway! One can only hope.

We go to mood and there's an abbreviated run around the space notable for two things 1) everybody is doing black and white stripes except for Anthony and 2) Emilio is so boastful he can't even help telling the cashier at Mood how many challenges he's won. Ugh.

They finally get to spend two days on a challenge which the judges take as a huge relief. Now they can really take it further than usual. They talk about the pressure to make it, and Jay is talking a lot which alerts me that they may finally axe him. Mila notes how cocky Emilio has gotten over the course of the season. She concedes that he wins all the time, so she knows where it comes from, but she doesn't think he has to gloat. Emilio continues to talk out loud in the work room about his greatness. You see, for Emilio, there's only two types of people in the world: The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe. Well baby, he's a "put on a show" kind of girl.
Don't like the backseat, gotta be first. (Thank you for that, Ms. Spears.)

I should state right now that I don't think there's any way Emilio wins this season. I don't know how he can currently lose since the judges totally love him and he wins week after week, but as I've said many times to many people, Tim Gunn can't STAND Emilio and goes off on his attitude every week in his video blog on FB. Tim knows who won, and I feel like if Emilio had wound up winning, Tim would've been more... diplomatic in his criticism of Emilio behind the scenes. Just my guess. Either that, or Tim really doesn't care and won't be muzzled!

Tim enter the work room to do his walk around. Seth Aaron first. Ringleader-Juggler inspiration. He tells Tim he wants a top hat! Tim is speechless. He politely tells him to focus on the coat he has planned. He's very nice to Tim, by the way.

Emilio and Tim "meet." It's more like a face off. Their mutual hate is palpable They cannot even pretend at this point. Tim tells Emilio not to avoid color. Emilio practically screams that he's DONE color. He wants to strip all color out of it. In his defense, we DO see a cutaway shot that confirms there are some strong color choices in Emilio's past looks. Tim walks away angry, hoping to find a design among the other contestants that can hopefully beat Emilio. I'm in no way on Team Emilio, but I have to say I think Tim has lost some objectivity right now.

Anthony, doesn't know WHAT the hell he's doing. He knows one of these things is not like the other with his color choices. Tim tries to get him to think positively. He then gives Anthony some advice, which Anthony appreciates in theory but he also tells Tim he has no idea what half the words he just used mean. He sweetly tells Tim he will check a dictionary when he gets home. Which will be happening soon, when he's eliminated (again).

Mila is doing the ringleader look, but Tim is not getting it. It's like he sees that what she's going for won't top Emilio and he doesn't have time to mince words. Mila assures him she'll pull something great out of nowhere.

Jay wants his outfit to be "bad bitch." He thins of himself as a "good bitch." I don't know what happened to Jay this season. I felt like he started so strong, but ever since he made that horrible tank top the week Amy got eliminated, I've thought everything he's made has been a total mess. Tim tries to play along, but I don't think he believes much in Jay's design.

After Tim leaves, Anthony completely loses his way and has no idea how to move forward. Oh, Anthony. I am glad we got two more weeks of your personality on this show, but you seem so at a loss for what to do right now. They work and work and then they're done.

It's day 2. The designers are back in the work room and the models come in for fittings. Anthony went to sleep thinking about his dress and he woke up thinking about his dress. I hope he winds up spending the day working on his dress because it's in trouble. The camera guys can't seem to get a full length shot of it, like it's the Cloverfield monster or something. Other than Anthony, there is a LOT of black and white stripes in this work room. Nothing's close enough to be done for me to completely pass judgement, but nothing looks particularly impressive either. Once the dress is on the model Emilio decides the dress IS missing color after all! Tim is vindicated! Seth Aaron thinks Mila's outfit is two shiny, and we see that her fabrics do appear shiny and cheap. It's not high end fabric. Mila thinks Jay's looks like Michael Jackson from the 80's and she's not wrong. Wow, that second day just flew by!

Day of the Runway. Everyone fells a mixture of confidence and nerves. I could tell you what they actually said but it's all pretty interchangeable. They rush around with their models to go get their hair done at the Loreal Pars make-up room. Everyone is excited it's the last challenge. Me and Una too, for that matter. Tim scoops them all up when time has run out and they all head off to final judgment on the runway.

Heidi greats the designers with an "All eyes on me in the center of the ring" kinda attitude. Yo can bet that when she cracks that whip everybody gon' trip, just like a circus. She let's them know only 3 designers will make the final. She then introduces the usual panel and then as the guest judge is Cynthia Rowley. No more stalling! On with the show! Here are my initial reactions to the outfits as they walked the runway, followed by some more thoughtful responses after a second viewing.


Michael Jackson Asian Military Jacket. That's my initial stream of consciousness. On second viewing, I admit that I do sorta like the pants. This picture is not the most flattering making his model look flatter and wider than this was when it walked the runway.


Did you ever see the reality competition show on Sci-fi "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?" This is like a top-level costume on that show. She could be called Fashionista! Her super powers are that she can blind you with her shiny outfits and then cut you with her sharp fashion sense! Also she can fly and has telekinesis.


Big Blue Wings. That's all I can come up with. The dress doesn't elicit a response. I mean, at least it's a dress and not a costume like most of the others, but is it high fashion?? If it's circus inspired, the colors do kinda remind me of Dumbo in the 80's kids show Dumbo's Circus, which makes me sing the theme song. I don't get it at all. Plus the waste is a tortured mess.


Ugh. His looks the best! How does this keep happening??? It's really in a different league than the others. The picture doesn't make the polk-a-dots look as delicate as they are in reality. It's a big win for Emilio.


It looks like a human playing card. I don't like it. On second look, I really don't like it. The Jacket is like a straitjacket from Tim Burton's Wonderland. It's a costume. Maybe she can be the arch nemesis of Mila's Superhero. We could call her Wild Card! There's too much going on here. I like Seth Aaron's stuff, but this is too crazy, in my opinion.

Critiques! Seth Aaron - The judges like it with some qualifications. Some crazy crotch comments from Kors, for good measure. But he gets by relatively unscathed. He is very very relieved. I don't get it. I think it looks so over the top.

Anthony - The judges don't care for it. Nina says it's a total bore from the waist down. Michael becomes curious about what kind of fabric it is. Anthony is all, "what do you mean? It's fabric." And Kors is all "but what kind of fabric?" And Anthony is all "there are different KINDS of fabric?" So finally Kors gets his ass out of his seat and goes up to actually touch the garment. It burns his hand and he pulls it away. "Gahh! Polyester!" He cries. The others all hiss at this revelation, and if you didn't know he was going home before, he's certainly going home now. Heidi is so fascinated she too gets her massively pregnant self out of her chair to get a feel of what $300 worth of polyester is like. As one last dig, Kors calls it a big blue condom, but I think he's thinking of polyurethane, not polyester. Although, I find it kinda hilarious that Kors might think he's been using polyester condoms all these years! Heeheehee!

Jay - Heidi asks him to take off the jacket and then when it's gone, she claims nothing is special about the other pieces in his outfit. The other judges do like the construction though, and Nina really likes the pants. They are kinder here than I would be.

Mila - The judges are split on her. They seem to like it but think that it failed at the same time. Make up your minds people. At least Rowley can't fault the color of Mila's pants since it's the same color as Rowley's entire outfit.

Emilio - The judges are all on Team Emilio. Kors calls it the best of the season. The other designers stand there feeling like assholes. Emilio's head grows another three sizes that day. I shouldn't be so bitter, it's clearly the best of the bunch.

Then the Judges ask each designer which other 2 contestants they'd take to the finals with them. Here's a breakdown of what they all said.

Seth Aaron - Emilio and Jay
Jay - Seth Aaron and Anthony (he cries when he says Anthony's name, btw. Ay, please.)
Mila - Seth Aaron and Emilio
Emilio - Seth Aaron and Mila (I'm very surprised he chose Mila!)
Anthony - Emilio and Jay

Judges Deliberate!- Emilio. The obvious winner and clearly going to fashion week. Seth Aaron, not as sophisticated as Emilio but the judges really are into him and he's going through as well. That leaves three: Anthony, who has made some nice things, but who might have made an unforgivable error in his fabric choice this week, Jay who has made some nice things but has questionable taste level, and Mila who has made some nice things but might not have a relevant point of view. We'll be crushing someone's dreams after the break!

We're back on the runway and everyone's hella-nervous. Who from this motley crew is going to Fashion Week? Emilio is the winner and is going to Bryant Park. He tells us he is HUMBLED! HA! He like Anthony, needs to recheck that dictionary when he is not. The dude can make clothes, but humble he is not. Seth Aaron also sails through to Bryant park as predicted. I think he's our only hope to spoil Emilio winning the whole thing. The suddenly, Anthony's out (again). Left with Mila and Jay, the judges are undecided, so they will each make collections and then only one of them will get to compete at Fashion Week. I have no emotional reaction to this. I What makes it truly delightful is that these are the two that hate each other! Well, at least Jay hates Mila. I don't think Mila expends that much energy toward Jay.

SO next week is the check-in at home week, and I hope Tim shows up to Emilio's with a security detail because he's heading into enemy territory and things might get ugly, beyond just the clothes. Thanks for reading! Una will be back next week. Be sure to check out her blog and become a fan of hers on Facebook!


bernal_vernal said...

Thanks for taking over for Una. You did a great job. I'm hoping that Seth Aaron wins, I can't stand Emilio and his lisp.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I had to search HP to find the link for you, but you did a perfectly good job! Although everyone left can sew like a demon, none of them seems to have any heart. Their clothes are stylish, but seldom pretty, so I won't be wasting time watching the finale. Even Una can't make it worth wasting two more hours when nothing these people could produce would entice me to wear it (or copy it on my sewing machine).

JC said...

Great recap! I'm so not jazzed by the contestants this season. While I get that Seth Aaron's clothes are well made I feel like he's designing outfits for Gwen Stefani. And the fact that Emilio doesn't respect Tim Gunn is just plain awful. How can you not love Tim Gunn? He's the fairy godfather of fashion!!
On the "next week on PR" it showed Tim Gunn in a turtle neck and a leather jacket, which might be as weird as when he wore jeans during the farm challenge.

MsTemperamental said...

I totally forgot that Una was not posting this week. I keep going back to her page wondering "why in the hell is she taking so long to put her post up? This was actually a good episode!" Then I remembered... reread her last post and stumblled onto your site (good job btw).
Mila's reaction to both her and Jay being picked was priceless. Sorta "I'm IN! Yeah! Oh sh*t, so is HE. Damn." Her joy lasted all of two seconds.
I kinda don't want Emilio to win eventhough he has made some great clothes. His cockiness is just irritating now. And what the H, was going on with his lips. Did he and a chapstick get in a fight? My word.
Emilio and Tim get into it next week. And I can't wait.

MsTemperamental said...

I totally forgot that Una was not posting this week. I keep going back to her page wondering "why in the hell is she taking so long to put her post up? This was actually a good episode!" Then I remembered... reread her last post and stumblled onto your site (good job btw).
Mila's reaction to both her and Jay being picked was priceless. Sorta "I'm IN! Yeah! Oh sh*t, so is HE. Damn." Her joy lasted all of two seconds.
I kinda don't want Emilio to win eventhough he has made some great clothes. His cockiness is just irritating now. And what the H, was going on with his lips. Did he and a chapstick get in a fight? My word.
Emilio and Tim get into it next week. And I can't wait.

Susan said...

thanks for the recap - Actually I bookmarked your blog after reading Una's warning about her absence. Do you write every week? I'll read you both!

PS: I'm on team Seth Aaron for the most part, but do admire Emilio's work. I could care whether Jay OR Mila show at FW; it's clearly a two person competition. An advantage of Emilio's win is to add a bit of diversity of the winner's circle.

sarah said...

Great job, Owen!

I am sick that I liked Emilio's dress, but I have faith that he will screw it up. He takes no criticism. That doesn't bode well for him.

I'm hoping the judges let Jay and Mila compete...at this point, why not? WIth months to work, either one of them could dismantle the mighty e<3sosa.

Thanks for filling in!

SuperOTM said...

thanks for posting comments! I don't normally recap P.Runway because Una does such a great job with it, and it takes a lot of focus, so I'd rather just watch and then enjoy reading her witty take on things. I do subject myself to recapping Am.Idol every week, if that interests you. Otherwise it's a hodge podge of random musings, theater reviews, and sports highlights. Feel free to roam about the posts as you see fit!

Terise said...

Well, I made it :) Thanks so much for covering for Una. Great job. I love the recaps more than the show - lol.

raye said...

thank you for doing the recap!
i enjoyed reading your review~

Anonymous said...

Loved your recap and point of view - captured the episode perfectly!

Kathryn said...

Thanks Owen, great job. I've thought this season hasn't been as good as others, but it took this challenge to REALLY drive that home. I think back to the final challenges that preceded, then look again at all the costumey disasters that the judges went for. . . They should have declared a no win and stopped the season completely. I will record the rest, and just fast forward thru most of it. No real interest in who wins.
Part of the blame lies with those who come up with stupid challenges like this one for a FINAL!

champagnevelvet said...

say what you want about emilo's cockiness, the dress was "fierce" and he knows his s#i%! no, he did not do well with that swim suit catastrophe, but emilio is by far the best of this group. i say it will be between seth and emilio. i like them both, so may the best designer win based on the final collection. mila should have been gone long ago and jay seems to have lost his confidence after his partnership with mila

BoyInBOYCOTT said...

Thank you Owen for the recap while Una is vacationing, you did a good job of it.
I am in the minority, as not being turned off by Emilio, but I loathe Mila...if that's any consellation.
Tim Gunn is funny and high CAMP, but he isn't perfect, and it seems he's got as big a bug up his a$$ about Emilio, as Emilio has towards him.
The preview of next week has Emilio's model not liking his collection, that can't be good news.

alison said...

Thanks so much for giving us our weekly dose of ProjRun snark! I loved it! (Even tho I'm Team Emilio.)

Alli said...

thank you for the recap! I too begrudingly loved Emilio's dress, but hope he really sucks it up for finals. No one puts Tim Gunn in a corner!

Stephanie said...

Thank you for pointing out that Seth Aaron's looked like a costume for "Alice in Wonderland." That was all I could think of when I saw it. I didn't really care for any of the outfits this week Anthony's doesn't count 'cause I just knew he was out when I saw his overly simply dress. I'll be watching the finales because I want to see Tim take on Emilio.

Living the dream said...

Great recap!! I loved the human playing card reference (LOL stuff). Thank you!

rudyfan1926 said...

Great post and terrific recap. Thanks for taking on the challenge. I'm on Team Seth Aaron because I just can't abide Emilio.

Beth said...

Great recap! I'm so torn about Emilio. Love his clothes, hate him. NOBODY disrespects Tim Gunn and survives.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the post...it was funny and enjoyable. I love me some sassy curmudgeon, but I will definitely check out your blog regularly as well!

Anonymous said...

Just checking in so you know you have readers!

alimum said...

Thanks for the recap.

Last season, I wondered why the producers edited most of the season to make Irina look so bitchy, only to pull back for the last three episodes and show her insecure side (remember how she didn't want to exclude any designers from fashion week because she already knew everyone hated her and didn't want to add to it?), because her win made us feel very ambivalent.

This time around, while I can't stand Emilio's cockiness, I have to admit the clothes are, for the most part, good (though I think some of his wins were a bit undeserved) and, once again, I have to wonder why the producers have chosen to play up his arrogance and his Tim hating. I mean, good work or not, do they not realize how much the viewership loves Tim and will not accept people who disrespect him (did they learn nothing from Kenley?) Earlier in the season, it seemed like they couldn't decide which designer would play the role of arrogant bitch as they were editing Mila this way as well, but then pulled back and decided to present her as cold and boring.

My only explanation for why the producers have chosen to go with this narrative of bitchy, talented designer as the best in the bunch for two seasons is because Christian Siriano was so beloved and they can't tell the difference between good natured snarkiness and outright assholery.

Sassy said...

You make-a-me proud, Owen! Thank you SO much. I needed a recap, as I missed the show. And I laughed my ass off.

mrspeel said...

I also had to re-read Una's PR-E11 post to find this link to your site and I'm very glad I found it!

Thank you for filling in! You did a great job, IMHO, because you basically said everything I was thinking of during the show!

Even though I'm rooting for SA, I think his outfit was horrible and didn't think it deserved any praise at all. He shoulda been made to squirm a bit!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Owen -- great job. Was really hard to find you though -- just looking for "clive" and "project runway". I will be sure to bookmark you as well -- Eileen