Wednesday, January 6, 2010

More Than Two Tons Of Fun

Dude, first tennis start up so fast, and now Biggest Loser! Before we have time to digest our holiday feasts and forget who won the last season that ended just weeks ago (it was... Danny, from the Brown Team... right?) here we are ready to start another season with The Fattest Fatties who ever were Fat. Bring it on, BL! I'm ready to tell you what I've done today to make me feel proud.

This season is bigger than ever. They say it every year, but every year, they DO get bigger. They're not just round, but they're tall too. They are just massive slabs of people in Season 9. It doesn't seem like anyone's story is as emotionally devastating as Abby's was last year, but we've got a lot of never-been-kissed kids who are looking to slim down into hotness and start getting it on. Always a noble endeavor in my book.

The game starts off by mercilessly cutting the two teams who bike 26.2 miles the slowest. Yellow Team with Father and Daughter Fatties who need lots of love and support? YOU'RE GONE! Blue Team With Mother and Daughter Fatties, whose mom-half experienced unbearable cramping during the bike-a-thon? YOU'RE GONE! But it seems they were given Biggest Loser for Wii or something and we'll see if they can claw their way back on campus 4 or 5 episodes from now.

Bob and Jillian are training the whole cast together again, which limits the amount of immediate team adversity and alliances that would otherwise form on-screen. Instead everyone is just feeling each other out this week. The Green Team won the biking challenge and look like they will be strong competitors. The other team of note was the Half-Ton Identical Twins in Brown, who immediately fell below the yellow line and one had to be sent home. I don't know how you really choose between them. They are identical players. Flip a coin. Everyone in the judging room said it was a difficult decision, but no one gave the real reason it was so hard: how can you tell them apart? They are 1 lb apart in weight, so they are essentially equally gigantic, they lost exactly the same amount of weight during week 1 and while one is sort of injured and one is about as mobile as you can be at 400+ lbs, the strategy of who to keep there kinda cancels itself out. It seemed like the same choice to me either way. Get rid of this one guy, or this other guy that is the exact copy of the first guy. If i was in the position of the voters, I would just write down one name and probably not know which of the brothers it was that I was actually voting for. The brother who got evicted actually did quite well at home and has so far lost 100 pounds! Very impressive.

We've still to see who will emerge as this season's villain. Crazy Tracey didn't really show her true colors til she emerged from the hospital in episode three last year. I think the Red Team could be a game player team, but it looks from the preview that Melissa of Red Team actually GAINS a pound next week, so that might hurt her chances for domination if she's eliminated next.

If you enjoy Biggest Loser and have time to kill at work, I suggest the new Biggest Loser Concentration Game, which I stumbled upon totally by accident. Match their fat faces as quick as you can! It's sorta fun. It doesn't burn a lot of calories though, so be careful about snacking during game play!

No comments: