Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Ripped From The Headlines: Swimsuit Edition

Torn pants are funny. It's comedy gold! I don't think low-brow comedy goes to the ripped pants well often enough. When it happens in real-life, in public unexpectedly, it's really the best, and the more people witnessing it, the better. Only a few weeks ago, we had Phillip Chbeeb unexpectedly split his pants on So You Think You Can Dance during a broadway routine, and it was the best moment of that entire piece. Then earlier this week we got a new spin on an old classic; Swimsuit Malfunctions! You see, US Swimmer Ricky Berens tore the back of his swimsuit in a qualifying heat of the 4x100m relay freestyle at the World Swimming Championships in Rome. He was wearing one of those full-body corsetted swimsuits (that FINA just banned from use starting in 2010) when he leaned down to stretch before the race, and his suit tore.

"I kind of freaked out for just a second," Berens said. "I felt like [the hole] was almost down to my knees. I felt like I was putting on a pretty good show."

It was a really impressive tear. Take a look-see.

You have to be impressed with his presence of mind to keep going with the race.

Here is some serious butt cleavage. An athlete's ass, if ever i saw one fighting to break through from a polyurethane-blend swimming corsette. If you're gonna show everyone your bare butt, it helps to a physique that looks good naked.

Here's a more restrained shot of how bad the tear got as he entered the water. It's amazing any of the siut stayed together as he swam the race.

Finaly he finished the heat and is given some coverage. This never would've happened with the classic lycra speedo!

And here is a picture of Ricky's face. This was not taken in Rome, but in Beijing during the summer games last year. Apparently, neither AP nor Getty took a photo of his face in Rome on Sunday, just his exposed ass. Very thorough work there, photogs.

After all that, the US still won the event. That always eases the burn of embarrassment. Now it's time to go up a few trunk-sizes before Ricky gets back into the water. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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