Wednesday, April 22, 2009

False Idols: Too Lil, Too Late

Oh. Lil. The irony of your last song is that your whole problem this season has been that you performed like every other woman, and not like yourself. Super-double-dog Irony? That once you finally got voted off you sang the hell out of that song in a way that felt DISTINCTLY YOU! Perhaps the pressure of the show was just something you could never get around, no matter how much you wanted to. And I do believe you wanted to compete and win. Once you knew it was over, you could finally relax and let loose. Whatever it was, it's the end of your Idol road. It was definitely your time to go, but I wish you well!

Noopers! It's been quite a journey, dawg. You had some great vocals, some not-so-great outfits, some rough times with the judges and all of my support. I think you're a talented crooner. I would have much rather lost Gokey from the competition than you, but apparently his voting base cannot be denied. Your song choice this week was a little weird and you biffed that last note, but I've seen MUCH much worse on this show than what you gave us this week. Still, if I had to pick between you and Allison, I'd pick Allison to stay over you any day. I will miss you next week. Have a good time on tour!

Contestant On The Edge

Allison. What can I say? For all your awesomeness, the comparisons to Kelly Clarkson, and the way you have not mentally broken down under the weight of the competition? Bitches in America STILL seem uninterested in voting for you. So I will actually call in for you next week, providing you don't totally tank the competition. I don't think you will. I think you'll continue to rock, and clearly you need some extra support from the Non-Voting Viewers With Taste out there. I will try to lift you past Matt and Gokey. You just keep bringing it. I will try to handle the rest.

Rant Of The Week

Gokey. You refuse to go away or even land in the Bottom Three. Granted, you are not without talent. But America's support for you boggles my mind. What kind of album would you make? I have no idea. I can imagine the style of album that would be put out by the other four remaining contestants, but your sound remains a mystery to me. I just don't get what people are hearing from you. But obviously, whatever you are doing is working for some people. But some people ain't me.

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