The other day i was going into the McDonald's near my apartment on Ditmars to get myself a grilled BLT Ranch sandwich (NOTE: They made it the WRONG WAY! It's basically the only thing i eat at McDonald's and I am sure that a RANCH sandwhich has RANCH dressing. It's not, instead, covered in BBQ sauce. It was still tasty, I love me some BBQ. It was just not what i ordered. Anyway, it's not the point of this post, I'm just saying.) As I tried to walk in, there was this guy standing on the sidewalk directly in front of the double doors. He did not seem crazy, but he seemed oblivious to the fact that he was completely blocking foot traffic in and out of the restaurant. Was he waiting for someone? Was he planning to rob someone of their money or their fast food as they tried to squeeze past him? I don't know. As I approached him, I tried to make eye contact, but he was off in space. I reached for the door handle and finally he snapped out of it. He took a step to the side, and i entered thinking that would be the end of it.
However, after I had purchased my (improperly made) ranch sandwich and headed for the exit, the dude was back standing in the exact same place blocking the door! Not only that but an old lady was trying to get in the door and couldn't seem to get his attention. I was also having no luck since his back was to me from the other side of the double doors. So finally, i hit the door hard but not in a way that it would swing far out enough to hit him, and that broke him from his trance. He stepped away from the door and I held the door open so the lady could enter. As she did so, I shot the dude a "WTF?" look. He seemed regretful but as soon as we were out of the way he stepped right back into position. Is he guarding the place? is he stalking one of the girls behind the counter and his restraining order prohibits him from entering the premises? i don't know. I couldn't figure out what he was doing. It was so odd, placing himself conspicuously where he'd have to keep moving, when all he seemed to want to do was stand still.
As I walked home, i thought i would write about it because he seemed so peculiar. So i started thinking about what to title it and from the darker recesses of my brain came the line "i am in love with a Mcdonald's Girl" and I couldn't figure out what it was connected to. Was it a song? Yes! It was a song. But who sang it? I had no idea. It reminded me of college. Was it an a capella group song? I think so. But now the line shifted again. Now i remembered it as "I am in love with a McDonald's Boy." So maybe a girl group sang it? I still can't place it. It's driving me a little crazy. It's actually a barenakedladies song, which strengthens my thinking it was adapted for liberal college a capella - possibly for both a boys' group and a girls' group. The fact that I knew this song at all may never have been recovered in my brain had it not been for the weird dude blockading the entrance to Mickey D's. It's not an important thing, but it's sometimes funny to be reminded of how something random that you'd never expect to be kicking around in your head actually is still there.
... she is an angel in a polyester uniform.