Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Fattest Fatties That Were Ever Fat.

Last night was the premiere of Biggest Loser: Couples, but that should not be the title for two reasons.

#1) Almost no one on the show is a couple in the sense that they are dating, or married or even marginally attracted to each other. Most of them are friends or distant cousins or have a parent-child relationship. Those are really not "couple" relationships. There are more relationshipy couples on any given season of The Amazing Race than on this season of BL. I am, however, okay with there being few romantic couples on the show this season because last season's couples were (for the most part) annoying horrible people who were looking for the 250K prize and not a healthier lifestyle. This new batch seems focused more on not dying from their fat than on the cash, which is always where this show hits pay dirt.

And #2) a more accurate title for this season would be Biggest Loser: Supersized!!

These motherfrakkers are HUUUUUUGE this season! I mean, WOW. I had two main criticisms for last season. The first as i mentioned before was the nasty-attitude married couples, and the second was that the contestants, while definitely overweight, were not as big as i thought they should be to warrant being on the show. Well the show obviously heard my non-voiced complaints and responded by casting some of the nicest largest people I've ever seen on the show. There are 11 "couples" weighing a starting total of 3.5 tons. They cast the oldest couple to ever be on the show, the two biggest women ever to be on the show, the youngest man ever to make the show (although both Brown Team and Orange team feature teenage males), and also the heaviest contestant ever on the show. We are talking several 300 and 400 pounders. It's crazy!

I enjoy Biggest Loser and wish them all well. These seem like nice people and I will enjoy rooting for them all season. But their initial size last night was so startling. I was not prepared, even after catching glimpses of them in the commercials airing last week. There is one guy with literally a six pack made out of rolls of fat. But they are gonna shed giant numbers. And that's gonna be super-sized fun!

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