Thursday, August 28, 2008

Supreme Court of Good Looks: The People Vs Chris Matthews

The Charges: Failure to maintain a respectable hairstyle for a political commentator and a host of cable and network TV talk shows.

Exhibit A: Here is Chris Matthews before and after his strange hair color change.



On it's own, maybe it's not a big deal. But look at what has happened since!

Exhibit B:


Can't someone in hair and make up get him a comb? It looks ridiculous! Why would he do this? It boggles the mind and offends the senses. We ask the court to reprimand Mr. Matthews and force him to return to his normal grooming standards.

THE DEFENSE: People are allowed to change their hair color. Maybe you think it's vain for an older gentleman to do it, but that's neither here nor there. Secondly, he does have a slightly different hair style, but what you're seeing is just the windswept nature of hair that is a part what happens when you broadcast outdoors. The craziness of the convention quaff will subside when he's back in the studio.

REDIRECT, YOUR HONOR?: Windswept? I'm sorry. He is sitting with several other commentators and no one else has a hair out of place! He is styling it that way intentionally and it does not look good. He must be forced to end this national nightmare right away.

VERDICT: By a vote of 9-0, in the case of The People Vs Chris Matthews, the court agrees that Chris Matthews has overreached in his desire to try a new haircut during presidential campaign season, when people are more likley to want to watch his show and are therefore forced to look at his hair. This is not good looking hair. It is our judgment that he must start combing his hair and allow it to eventually return to it's natural color. So say we all.


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