Friday, June 20, 2008

PTSD

So all week, things have been off for me. I have been inexplicably exhausted. The acute state of tiredness was really strange and unexpected and I couldn't figure out why I had no energy and was emotionally all over the place. Finally sometime on Wednesday or Thursday, it hit me. i'm suffering from PTSD - Post Tony Stress Disorder.

Here are some symptoms:

1. You remain excited about it, enjoy talking about it, but physically you feel like your totally breaking down.
2. Emotionally draining recurring dreams with people wearing tuxedo shirts, have you waking up in tears.
3. Your brain involuntarily takes mental notes of lyrics from nominated shows hidden within the course of normal casual conversations, driving you to distraction.
4. Your ability to refrain from lashing out at people who tactlessly inquire about house seats has flown out the window.
5. An increase in appetite.

The dreams are the worst part. To describe them would seem silly, but I can't state enough how emotionally intense they have been. It's awful to wake up more tired than when you went to sleep. I think I was suppressing my nerves as we got close to the ceremony, and once it was over, it kinda whiplashed on me. Also, looking back, last week when things were so busy at work, and I was very anxious for my friends' success, one of the Owens in my head was saying "When the Tonys are over, things will calm down." and then another Owen in my head would try to counter, "Actually, you know the week after the Tonys will also be crazy. We're not quite done with it yet." And then that first Owen would reply, "Hmm? Did you say something? I was thinking about how cute we look in our tux. We do, don't we?" So when Monday came around and things were crazy, followed up by a crazy Tuesday and Wednesday, my brain kinda freaked out. It wasn't quite prepared for the Victory Lap. I was ready for a break. So basically, i believe the cure for PTSD is a nice vacation. But the opportunity to take one is still a few weeks away, so i'm hoping in the meantime that the tuxedo shirt nightmares subside.

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