Thursday, April 17, 2008

Shut Your Face and Dance... Right Now!

Another week, another episode of Shut Your Face And Dance. The show that begs contestants to stop the crying and complaining and, please, just compete! I wonder who will crack under the pressure this week? It won't be me! Or will it?

Previously, the pimps and prostitute dance. James couldn't dance like a man and got sent home.
The gay credits want to dance all over town. Step it up, Credits!

At Pegasus Apartments. Miguel lost James! He does not think it was right. Michael doesn't care about Miguel. I wish there names were not so similar. Oscar is happy he won the challenge and now has immunity. EB comes for breakfast, bringing muffins and coffee. She talks to the dancers and cries for their sacrifice. Seriously, she gets really broken up about their struggles and determination. I would love to have breakfast with Jessica Myrtle Spano. It would be so surreal. She drops the hint to them after eating, that in their next challenge they will be taking it to the streets.

The dancers later meet up with Jerry in the studio who introduces them to Dave Scott who choreographed Step It Up 2. Rob Hoffman the star of SIU2 is also on hand to demonstrate what a hip hop dance battle looks like. They battle and it's cool. Who the hell knows how to describe it,

They will be learning choreography from Dave and then have 2 counts of eight to freestyle. Already half the dancers are putting up disclaimers that "hip hop is not what they do" so you won't be surprised when they suck. Whatever, bitches. ADAPT. They learn the combination for an hour. Now it's time to Audition! James doesn't want them to dance the routine, he wants them to perform it. Mochi's not very good. . Jessica is not good either. She keeps telling us to expect nothing from her and we won't be that disappointed. Janelle is in her glory The guys are better that the girls in gnereal.. Oscar is not good and really is all-ballet in his style, but he has immunity so they're not sending his ass to dance it's final dance for this challenge.

Who are James's favorite 3? Cody! Janelle! and... Miguel! Ugh whatever Homeless Prince. These three are the crew captain. They will each pick 2 other dancers. A random draw means Janelle goes first. She picks Michael. Cody picks Mochi. Miguel picks Nick, who's happy to be away from Cody. Janelle picks Tovah. Cody picks Jessica because... he wants his team to suck? Miguel is stuck with Oscar who doesn't really care because he knows he's not going home for this shit. Jerry tells them they will not be split into Cool Kids and Spazzes this week and that they will be battling tonight! Drama!!

Commercials. Time to get food! I hope the supermarket has lean cusines on sale this week. i need to restock the freezer.

We are back. Each team will get 30 minutes in the studio to rehearse. They battle will take place at a special location. Where could that be?? Janelle's group plans to clown the other teams, and make fun of their dumb asses. Each team has a color and needs a name. Cody's team is blue and they come up with the dumbass name "blue breakers." i will call them Blue Balls because that is better.

Jerry watches Red Team perform. He likes what they are doing and understands the clowning aspect. He gives them good comments and tells them to tighten the moves they do together as a group.

Black team tries to have a slightly racist name and then they laugh about it nervously so i will call them team Black Face. Their real name is stupid and has something to do with t-shirts. Ugh. These people are not very creative outside of their ability to move their bodies.

Jerry watches Blue Balls practice. He hates it. They are really bad. Jessica is the worst. PLEASE send her home.

Red Team calls themselves Everest. I will call them Red Everest. Because shame on them for thinking they could pick a name that didn't obviously highlight the color of their shirts.

Jerry watches Black Face perform. He thinks it's nasty in a good way. It does look pretty fun considering it's the creation of three toolish guys. Rehearsals are over! It's time to head out and head into commercials!

Commercials. My sister had a baby today. His name is Henry. He's almost 8 lbs. I anxiously await pictures. It's my first nephew. Woohoo!

Now it's night time and we are taking to the streets. It's in a "bad neighborhood" and some of the dancers are nervous. Oh, please. They end up in a warehouse and a really hip hop battle is going down. EB is there sporting a "dangerous" leather jacket. Nomi is more street than any of them, with or without that jacket. Only one team of 3 will win and someone from the two losing crews will be sent back to an even lower level of obscurity than the one at which this show exists.

Red Everst is first. Apparently the show forced them to put "red" in their name after all. They will go against Black Face. It's kind of intense. Clearly I favor Red Everest. They put it to the crowd. The crowd does not react well for Black Face. They love Red Everest. Thank god.

Black Face now must battle Blue Balls. Does Black Face have anything left? Not really. But Blue Balls doesn't have much to offer for it's first go round either, so it's a close call. Mochi is intimidating Miguel with her stare, which says a lot about Miguel frankly. Let's here from the crowd... Blue Balls wins! So now they go against Red Everest. Who will win the challenge. We're about to find out.... after the break!


Now Blue Balls Takes on Red Everest. Janelle goes crazy. She is in the driver's seat tonight. I like her a lot. i'm glad she rebounded after last weeks disaster. To the crowd... and it's not even close. Much like in life, nobody wants Blue Balls. Red Everest rules the roost. Janelle has to be the challenge winner. How can the judges pick anyone else??

They are back the main stage. The judges are at the table. Red Everest gets high praise. Tovah did well outside her comfort zone, but it seems from the way she stands that she still hates her body. Character consistency from last week! Janelle was a great leader and Michael was doing the most actual hip hop moves. The other judges don't want to reward Janelle's inconsistency from last week with another challenge win, but Dave pretty much insists they give it to Janelle since she was the one who took over the crowd, so she wins. Which I'm totally fine with.

The judges didn't like Mochi/Michelle. Jessica was a total mess. Nick's individual performance was totally forgettable except for gicing the finger. EB reminds them they can't get rid of Oscar even though he really didn't try to do anything in the style of the dance. So Oscar, Miguel and Cody wind up being safe and the others are in the bottom. This is two weeks in a row that the person with immunity would've otherwise been cut. These kids really like to coast once they get a little bit of breathing room. Dancing's hard though, so you can't really blame them for wanting to save their energy for when it actually matters.

Commercials. I can't believe it's Friday already. This week went so fast. hooray!

We're back: Mochi/Michelle, Nick and Jessica are on the chopping block. Who is it EB? Michelle is safe. Good fake out, SYFAD editors! It looked bad for her for a hot minute. So who goes home? Crazy Jessica or Bird Flippin' Nick? Jessica! Thank goodness. She just wasn't right for this show. She's not a bad dancer. She's just not this type of competitor. Her last dance voice over lets us know she has gained confidence and can now see broadway and tours (and maybe therapy?) in her future. I sure hope so. Take care, Jessica!

Next week: They be steppin'. And not just in an "it up and dance" manner of speaking.

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