Thursday, April 24, 2008

Please continue to Shut Your Face and Dance!

Greetings, all! Another Thursday night, another mediocre blog about this mediocre show. Hooray!

Previously: The dancers battled - street style! Janelle won. Jessica was finally axed. NOW LET THE GAY CREDITS SHAKE THEIR GROOVE THANG!

Janelle has now won immunity twice and she feels good about it as she should. Miguel wishes he could win immunity. Keep on dreaming. Many of the other dancers including Nick hope that the next challenge is more technically driven since, you know, some of them have taken 20 years of ballet and would excel at a ballet challenge. I think the commercials showed me stepping at the endof last week's eppy. So they are plum out of luck!

Sure enough they all go to the "theater" and no that's not the janitorial staff up there, it's Stomp! They are quite impressive as you'd imagine making sound and dance out of brooms and feet and such. All the dances are smiling but they can tell this next challenge is not gonna be easy. EB introduces the creator of Stomp, Luke Cresswell, and tells them the challenge this week they will be stomping. The ballerinas freak out on the inside and some on the outside. I have to say, I understand their frustration a little bit. You train all your life to do one thing and then you get to this stage and you could get eliminated before you get to show your expertise. Jerry tells them this week's challenge is all about rhythm. And music! Made by your own self. Once you got those things, and your man. who could ask for anything more? I would say Tovah, Oscar, Mochi and Cody for starters could ask for more. Like they could ask for a new challenge.

Once again, this week they're gonna learn a routine and get split into Spazes and Cool Kids. So they sorta learn a routine, but it's hard on all of them. Oscar and Tovah look especially out of it in the learning process. Oscar grumbles that all his training teaches his body to raise up while stomping is all down into the ground. The drama! Time for.... The Audition! Everyone feels and looks like a spazola. Miguel is the best, but relative to what? His competition this week is less than fierce. Tovah, Oscar, Janelle are definitely in the Spaz Group. Janelle laments her own week to week inconsistency. Get it together girl. Miguel, Michelle and Cody are definite Cool Kids. Miguel has no doubts he was the best. Nick and Michael were equal levels of meh, so they will have to dance in a stomp-off to see who will be safe and who will be up for elimination. They both look like they'd rather never stomp again for the rest of their lives.

Commercials: A commercial for Stomp?? How strange and unexpected! Totally out of left field. Also bring on those Bravo A List Awards! Kathy Griffin will be awesome.

We're back. The stomp-off is mercifully short. Michael wins because Nick has a total brain fart about what to do. Miguel is enraged that Michael is on his Cool Kids team. He really seems to hate Michael! He has no respect for Michael as a dancer, and says as much.

Luke takes the Spazes to practice for the Call Back, and tries to get them not to suck as much. It is a very daunting task and the spazes are not up to the challenge. Right now Luke is wondering if promoting Stomp on this show was worth dealing with these people.

Janelle and Tovah lament their Spaz status, while Miguel continues hating on Michael. The Cool Kids are gonna be dancing with garbage kids. Okay then. On a break. Janelle tells Tovah she doesn't think Cody was that good, but he's safe because he's "a god." Her tone implies she thinks otherwise, but I do think she's right that the judges like him a lot. From now on I call him Captain Vanilla, because I suspect despite his talent and strong build, he's probably a big white doof.

Luke is back with the Spazes. He introduces them to the brooms. They are never gonna be able to keep time with those things, dude. Oscar and Janelle are both off in space. They are trying! They are fighting! They insist that they are! The routine is kinda interesting except the solos. Luke tells them all their solos suck and that they are ignoring the brooms. I appreciate his honesty. They all try again with renewed focus. It marginally improves. Jerry appreciates their effort. He says something grandiose about the world of dance but i don't understand what he's getting at so i'm not typing it out here.

Back at the apartments, the spazes are trying to practice but they don't have enough brooms, so Oscar uses a vacuum instead. But it's just too heavy and won't work! HA! HA! HA! Oscar is going home.

Commercials. I'm so happy my Thursday shows are back on with new episodes. but now i have six shows i like to watch all on Thursday. Thank goodness they are spread out enough over the night so that my DVR can scoop them all up. I love you, DVR. Lost, I am putting you on as soon as this show ends.

We're back, y'all. It's elimination day. People are nervous. As they should be. Well, the Cool Kids are obviously less nervous because they're already safe, but Miguel REALLY wants the individual win and the immunity that goes with it. Jerry tells the spazes to go fucking apeshit on the dance. Such language does not fit him, even if it's bleeped.

EB greets them all in the theater from the judges' table. It's showtime for the Cool Kids! Michael thinks he can win individual immunity. I'm... kinda thinking no. The cool kids all have trash can lids and are slamming them like cymbals. Their dance, aside from the actual stompers on stage, is completely stupid, in my opinion. Everyone applauds, but you can tell Luke thinks it's kinda ass. The judges think Michael is doing great. Miguel and I both don't know who they are watching. They think Captain Vanilla was... okay. Just "okay," Judges? It was a bit too much Vanilla for them, Captain. They really like everything Miguel did, except he's a little dark. Miguel is in it to win it, he's even got shoes that say $100,000 on them! Okay, that's it for the Cool Kids! Oh wait, there's one more team member? Oh look Michelle is there! She thought the trash can lids were heavy. And... that's enough of Michelle i guess. The judges tell the Cool Kids to skedaddle and they deliberate. It's between Michael and Miguel, but much like last week CLEARLY they have to give it to the one the guest judge likes more, and this week that person is Miguel. So we now we'll have at least two more of Homeless Prince. The Cool Kids leave the stage and the spazes prepare to dance for their lives!

Commercials. On Survivor two weeks in a row now, they managed to vote out the person with an immunity idol by convincing them they were safe without playing it. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you.. you can't get fooled again... Awesome.

EB tells them it's time to "Step It Up." I admire how much she really seems to be daring them to impress her during this part of the show every week. She really commands judge's table. The routine starts. They sweep and stomp. Stomp and sweep. The solos are still not great. Let's evaluate with the judges. They all think Tovah is pretty (which you can tell makes her want to run into the house and punch them out. She shouldn't try it. EB would totally kick her ass.) but they question her desire to dance. They suggest she goes to ANTM, but I can tell you she's not gonna last very long with Tyra if she doesn't have the DESIRE for the competition. Nick was fine. Janelle was okay, but you can tell they are just waiting for her to end up in the bottom group on a week where she doesn't have immunity so they can dump her ass off the show. Oscar was not good and has no stomping rhythm, but he tried so hard! The judges deliberate. it's between Oscar and Tovah, Luke doesn't really care between them (which is kinda funny) but he does think Oscar really tried hard this week. Lady Judge on the Panel (Nancy, I think) sticks up for Tovah. Who will be eliminated? We're one commercial break from finding out.

Commercials. Those A List Awards are on June 12th?? We're gonna have to see these commericals for well over another month??? Jeez.....

We're back. The show's over for Tovah. EB says the judging was hard, but it's really because they didn't really care between them. Tovah cries. I do think she got a raw deal this week. Her last dance is pretty good. She VO's that she doesn't want to be just a pretty face. Hey, it's not a such a bad place to start. Bye, Tovah! You'll do fine! Just stay away from Tyra and the CW11 in general.

Next Week: There's a secret behind a door! Might it finally be a ballet bar?? Also all the dancers pick this week to start hating each other openly as opposed to just in the confessionals. Works for me!

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